Posts by silknguyen

silknguyen

Aug 3, 2013

Writing Feedback / Can Human nature produce crimes? [5]

Many scientists believe that now we can study the behavior of a three-year-old child to see whether they will grow up to be criminals. To what extent do you think that human nature produces crimes? And how can we prevent children from growing up to be criminals?

In recent time, science has been significantly developed, especially in the research of human nature. By studying the behaviour of a three-year-old child, many scientists believe that it is possible to see whether children will become criminals in the future and they assume that crime is a product of human nature. In my opinion, I partly agree with this statement. In this essay, I will discuss several reasons to this issue and solutions which can prevent children from being criminals in the future.

To begin with, I think that human nature can produces crimes. Firstly, children act naturally in their ages; as a result, their actions reflect the truth. Also, in the first three year, children can learn very quickly and remember longer; therefore the information that they learned has an important influence on the formation of their characters, which is necessary to know what types of people they are and whether they grow up to be criminals. What is more, parents have a strong impact on children and children tend to behaviour like their parents. Consequently, if children grow up in criminal circumstances, they might be able to commit crimes. In this case, crime is a product of human nature. As a result, we need to pay attention to children when they grow up to educate them in the right way and realize changes in their behaviours early, which helps them to format good characters as well as avoid bad behaviours.

However, I also believe that social circumstances are the main reasons causing crimes. Children are still immature to aware their surrounding world and their behaviours are innocent to adapt to the changes in society. For examples, if a child lives in a poor family and they have to suffer starvation every day, they might rob or thieve to have food, which makes them commit crimes. This demonstrates the conclusion that social circumstances causes committing crimes. As a result, the government and society should care more and more about children's education and eliminate poverty to help children to have the good conditions for their growing up.

In conclusion, after considering carefully this statement, I believe that human nature difficultly produces crimes because education can change their human nature. As a consequently, if parents and teachers educate children in the right way, they can still develop well and become good people

silknguyen

Aug 5, 2013

Writing Feedback / Can Human nature produce crimes? [5]

Dumi! Many thanks! I am quite confused what type this essay belongs to. It seems to be opinion but also solutions! Is that mixed type? Can you give me an examples because I have not seen this types before! Thank you for your comment in detail.

silknguyen

Aug 5, 2013

Writing Feedback / Can Human nature produce crimes? [5]

Oh yes!I am preparing for IELTS. I got it, I think you ask me for types including pros and cons, opinion, causes and solutions in IELTS! Your comment is very helpful. Thanks:D I hope to see more.

silknguyen

Aug 5, 2013

Writing Feedback / IELTS: TASK 2 - different attempts on introduction writing [2]

I n the first topic, I think that It is ok for both options, because the question is do you agree or disagree; therefore, you can select which one you want to follow. However, if you choose any one, you need to protect your choice by giving both negative and positive points but talking more with ones you choose.

In second topic, it is typical types of IELTS, it is mixed so you need to do two things
+ first: you give your opinion in introduction, personally
+ second: you discuss both sides in two paragraphs in main body. However, remember... choose which you personally agree to make it more clear than other.

With other topics, it iis optional so you can choose what you want
:D

silknguyen

Aug 7, 2013

Undergraduate / the man who is the monster of nature ; Butterfly Cirsus [6]

I found out the meaning of life as Will,a ( the, you should use defined clause) main character of the film which is ( named BC is better) Butterfly Circus.He is a man who have no arms and legs.He was "the man who is the monster of nature.The man if you want to call him that.He was let down by the God" (Butterfly Cirsus),and the artist who performed was Nick Vujicic.He really has had a significant influence on me.

I lived ( position, in) a boring life during my childhood until the day when I knew Nick.I couldn't believe what Nick did to live a happy life with disability( you need an article) while I lived in fearness and disappointment.Ten years at the top position in class,I fall ( tense) down when I was in grade 11th for the worst result.At that time,I thought I could do nothing in the future.The first day when I walk in the door of class,I swore that I had to be the best student.Therefore,I studied hard night and day,but it was not as I expected( it was not as good as I expected) .My result was so ( too) bad because of my methods.I have just studied for reputation.I scared that my friends would comtempt me,so when I was failed,I really wanted to give up.I used to think that I would become a great doctor.My ideal ( ideal is adj) which is saving people's lives would come true,but I felt like the world againsted me.I cried and really knew what failure was.

Suddenly one day,I held Nick's book in my hands.I couldn't breath when I read about a special life.He wrote that "Dreams don't die as long as you hold them dear.Even when faced with the worst,do whatever you can to prepare yourself for the best.And,if you don't get a miracle...Become one !"(Nick Vujicic-Limitless).He is really the impressive gift that God brought to this world.He lived to made the others believe in themselves,and of course,believe in God.Then,I watched Nick's video when he prensented all over the world.I felt his strength,his dreams and his soul.I couldn't prevent (stop is better) my tears fall down my face.That was the first time I realized that people were born in this life magically( born magically, I think it is more fomal) .We came to make something specially.And ( and should not start a sentence) that was the God's unique order.I had to face challenges because God wanted me to be maturer and stronger to protect my dreams.Therefore,I have no reason to abandon.( give up is better, I think)

I studied again with my shadow beliefs,looking within and inside my heart to realized that I didn't need to win the others,I will win myself,instead.I studied for knowlegde,not for reputation.I know my own way clearly and how I should do to get closer my goals ( word order). I was conscious of having many people are looking forward a miracle while they are suffering illness,and the doctors will bring a brighter world to human life.They came and gave a gift of hope and inspiration.That is the real miracles.Therefore,I must always keep my dream burning with a strongest fire in my heart to make it come true.

Nick made me understand all of things.He is no arms,but he touched my heart,my soul and my thinking.He made me know that although I could never change my past,but ( although doesnot accompany with but) I could change my future by working ( I did not get it)today because nothing is impossible.I believe even when all people against me,God never do that.I can still stand on the top by the efforts.I will live today better than yesterday ( word order) and move forward the future.And when I was down and disappointed,like Nick was talking to me "If you're feeling alone, and your weariness has grown, look up above, and thank God for His love.There's nothing you can do, to change His love for you, hold on friend,it's not the end. Something beautiful will come, the clouds will part for the sun. But until then, you're not alone, He can make...

I THINK YOU TOLD A STORY, SO IT IS BETTER AND NECESSARY TO USE CORRECT TENSE: PAST TENSE, i DON'T KNOW WHAT TYPES OF YOUR ESSAY: IELTS... BUT I AM PREPARING IELTS EXAM, SO I THINK YOU GOT SOME SIMPLE MISTAKES LIKE ARTICLES, WORD ORDER, LINKING WORD... I HOPE MY COMMENT IS HELPFUL TO YOU. GOOD LUCK!

silknguyen

Aug 7, 2013

Writing Feedback / IELTS:Development of transportation has enabled people to travel conveniently [5]

Please help!
Nowadays, thanks to the development of transportation, people can travel to other countries conveniently. However, the differences about cultures become a barrier of travelling; as a result, briefly understanding the culture that people come is quite important. In my opinion, I think that there are advantages and disadvantages to this argument.

Let us start by looking at benefits of briefly understanding the culture travellers and business people come. The obvious benefit is communication. When you visit a new culture that is different from your hometown; certainly, you have problems to contact with local people. Consequently, you difficultly express your ideas and your trip's purposes are failed. For examples, in Western culture, it is impolite to ask other people's income which is quite common in Asian countries; therefore, if you come to European countries, you should avoid asking that to show your politeness and respect to local people. This demonstrates an apparent conclusion that it is necessary to understand in brief culture that you come.

Turning to the other side of argument, finding information about the culture you come also has drawbacks. In the first place, it wastes your time. You visit there in short time period; therefore, it doesn't require you to understand the culture you come. Also, the culture is various with different aspects and you cannot understand in one or two days which takes you a lot of time to study. What is more, you just brief understand; as a result, you might forget it quickly after a long time not using it. If you are travellers or business people, you should hire a translator or a tour guide who are local people to help you more effectively rather than find information by yourself. You trip might become more interesting and effective with their helps.

In conclusion, brief understanding the culture you come has not only benefits but drawbacks also. You might be able to communicate better even when you live in a new culture; however, it requires you to spend time on studying. As a result, before travelling to a new country with a new culture, you should consider your choices carefully to make your journey become more successful.

Task 1:
The table below give information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

The table below illustrates the change in how much miles each person travelled annually on average by different ways of travel between 1985 and 2000.
In general, in this period, the modes of travel without fuel decreased which was contrast with other modes using fuel. Also, the yearly average distance each person travelled significant increased.

In details, in 1985, the total average yearly distance of each person was 4740 miles. In which, travelling by cars was the most common and it took up most of distance people travelled each year and taxi was the least common with 13 miles travelled by a person annually.

In the year 2000, the total distance significantly jumped from 4740 up to 6475 miles; however, travelling by cars still was predominant with the increase in distance by this mode about 1600 miles. With taxi, the figure for this means of transport was three times as much as this number in 1985. Bot walking and bicycle become less popular. It is marked that local bus, which was public means of transport, also nearly halved. Meanwhile, long distance bus, train and other went down.

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silknguyen

Aug 11, 2013

Writing Feedback / IELTS:Development of transportation has enabled people to travel conveniently [5]

Thank dumi:D I had a mistake again! I forgot to post questions along my essay!