Undergraduate / 'I live being on stage' - Common App Essay- prompt #4 [5]

Would anyone mind looking over my essay? I'm applying ED to Vassar and would appreciate some constructive criticism. I'm using the fourth prompt on the Common App: describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

It's no secret to those who know me that I'm shy; I always have been. People assume I will sit quietly in the back of the room and not say a word. But performing has always been different. There is something about being on a stage that just feels right. In those fleeting moments, I know that I don't have to be pigeonholed into high school labels for the rest of my life; performing reminds me that I can feel confident and excited and special. The thrill of performing is hard to quantify- it's an intoxicating rush of emotion that you really only know once you have done it, and it's not something that is easily forgotten.

I had dreamed of being in a play as a child, and four years ago, when I got the chance to audition for a local children's production of Guys and Dolls, I was thrilled. I had enjoyed every minute of the experience up until the hours before the show. Standing backstage, I began to regret my decision. Despite endless hours of rehearsal, there was a possibility that my first performance could be a spectacular failure. I could forget my choreography; I could sing off-key; I could enter in the wrong place at the wrong time. But it was too late- I couldn't quit two minutes before the show started. So I got into my place for the opening number and waited, dreading the moment that the curtains opened up. When I started to sing those first notes, though, I was in for a shock: I felt at once energized and at ease. I didn't fear performing, I actually enjoyed it. I spent the rest of the night on a high, and I couldn't wait for the next night when I would get to do it again.

Everyone is surprised when I tell them that I love to be onstage, and they are even more surprised when they see for themselves how comfortable I am with it. Performing has opened my eyes to something that I truly love, and more importantly, it has allowed me to come out of my shell. When you are onstage, you have to learn how to put yourself out there, a task that was not easy for me. As someone who was content to go unnoticed, I had to work to get to the level of confidence that some people are just born with. But the reward is well worth it: I am developing a new sense of comfort in my own skin, and faith in my talents even beyond this area of my life. Though I first built up my self-esteem through music and theatre, I am learning how to apply it to my life offstage, too.

What really draws me to performing, though, is the connection to others that it gives me. For someone who is admittedly not always an open book, the link to hundreds of other people is what keeps me coming back to the stage. This experience sparked my curiosity about the way people communicate and create relationships, and my interest in this bond is what motivates me to study psychology. I want to learn more about why that connection exists. In addition, I hope that in my studies I can learn how to help others who struggle with self-esteem find their own confidence.

Some people feel at home at the beach or at summer camp or even in a lecture hall, but I am happiest on the stage. Ever since that bit part in Guys and Dolls, I have known that no matter what people think of me, I can be whoever I want to be when I perform. Whether I'm playing a character or singing a song, I stand out as an individual, not just the smart, nice, quiet girl that everyone expects me to be.

Undergraduate / I made a difference; Common App supplement- describe an activity [3]

I'm working on my application, and some colleges have a supplement asking to describe/elaborate on an activity that I've done. I wrote mine about my volunteer experience, but I'm having trouble if it makes me seem like some rude, privileged kid who hated volunteering (which is false). Any constructive criticism/pointers are appreciated!

When I first walked in to Daybreak Shelter, despite my greatest efforts, I had a lot of expectations. Even though I was only there for the summer, I was going to connect with people. I was going to have the most transformative, eye-opening experience ever. This was going to be college-essay gold, and I was going to change people's lives.

"We're not too busy right now. Can you do some dishes?"

Eager to please, I went over to the sink and started loading the dishwasher. This isn't too exciting, I thought to myself, but I'm sure that I'll get to do something better tomorrow. Later that day, I had what seemed like a golden opportunity to make a difference: lunch time with the residents. But it was as if I was the new kid in school- everyone had already settled into groups, and I wandered around aimlessly until I retired to the kitchen to eat by myself.

The next few days were no better- I dutifully answered phones, washed dishes, and organized closets and filing cabinets. This wasn't the fun, fulfilling experience I had in mind. But as the weeks went by, I became a familiar face at the shelter. The women who lived there began to recognize me, and I would often have a brief chat with whomever I was working with in the kitchen. I started to look forward to volunteering more and more, and by the time I had to leave and go back to school I was surprised at my disappointment.

Even though I never did get to do any of the life-changing work that I had envisioned, I made a difference. Because it's not always the big things that matter. Sometimes people really do need someone to wash the dishes and clean out closets, and it turned out to be more rewarding than I ever thought it would be- even if I thought I was just doing menial work at first. I expected to leave my stint as a volunteer with something that would pad my resume quite nicely, but I got something else, as well: the knowledge that I had done something good for others, and that it was important even if it seemed small.

Undergraduate / I had one criterion/ Vassar Supplement- "why Vassar?" [3]

How did you learn about Vassar and what aspects of our college do you find appealing?

When I started my college search, I had one criterion: wherever I go would have to be at least an inconveniently long drive from Los Angeles. After spending hours on end flipping through college guidebooks and doing research online, I made a list of schools to visit.

I spent my spring break on a whirlwind trip of college tours, and by the time I got to Vassar, I was less than excited. It was the morning, I was still jet-lagged, and I was getting tired of the endless stream of information being thrown at me. But things started to look up when I drove by the campus- it was by far the most beautiful one I had seen. I came into the tour feeling a little more hopeful that Vassar could surprise me.

Maybe it was its charming beauty, or the fact that it was one of the few information sessions where I wasn't fighting sleep, but Vassar stood out. Many colleges I looked at boasted a strong liberal arts curriculum, but when I toured Vassar, it was the smaller things that stood out to me. For example, I liked the sense of community that the various dorms seemed to have. As someone who is looking forward to college as an opportunity to meet new people, the idea of a built-in set of social activities piqued my interest. And as a self-proclaimed lifelong Harry Potter nerd, I would be lying if I said that watching Quidditch games didn't sound like a dream come true. But the biggest draw by far is the psychology department. I am especially curious about Professor Greenwood's research about the relationship between people's personality traits and their involvement with the media. Since the media has become such a central component of our society, I think it is both interesting and important to study how people interact with it.

Despite my initial hesitance, Vassar ended up being the highlight of my trip. I left my tour excited instead of exhausted, and by the time I got home I knew that it was the right school for me.