Undergraduate / I can't sport a tank-top;[TRANSFER Essay] - for Harvard, Brown, Dartmouth, etc... [4]

I'm a student at University of Kansas and I'm applying as a transfer student to a lot of big-names -- Brown, Harvard, Dartmouth, Stanford, Caltech, Columbia, Yale... the list goes on. I have very strong academics, a full year in my field's industry as a full-time employee, and other things going for me, but wound up stuck here (long story, unfortunately). I'm working on my common application essay and would like a second opinion on a few things:

1) Is the writing style good? I'm trying to be straightforward and concise, but not utterly boring.
2) Am I headed in the right direction? I did my best to avoid totally bashing my current school (had to take out several sentences!), as transfer applicants are advised to not do that.

3) This is just a start. I plan on expanding on this essay (maybe 200-300 more words) to talk about why transferring will benefit me (primarily academic motivations) as well as my next destination -- will that be enough to really answer the question well?

I appreciate all and any helpful and/or critical comments. I will happily take a look at others' content to return the favor.

PROMPT & ESSAY: (so far)

Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. (250-650 words)

I ushered myself into this school with every intention to see myself out. The daily, unrelenting 90-degree low coupled with high humidity is not for me--I can't sport a tank-top, and my feet are too pasty to pull off flip-flops. A semester into pursuing my field at this institution has yielded a grand total of zero friends, with the exception of my 30-year-old roommate, who is studying Russian, I think. My most prevalent dissatisfaction is I am in need for an academic upgrade, and University of Kansas has too many restrictions to provide it. I'm stuck in a course that assumes zero programming experience, which leaves me bored and desperate for a challenge. Unfortunately, this could be the case for the next three semesters, if I have to stick around. As much as I want to embrace a liberal-arts based education here, the overwhelming emphasis my current institution puts on humanities and non-technical fields overshadows my pursuit towards a concentration in computer science.

I aim to subdue my complaints for good as soon as possible. I'm applying as a transfer student primarily to secure a spot at an institution that better serves my needs, and that allows me to make the contributions that I want to make. The obvious barriers of my current academic development--mainly, an unsubstantial EECS department--will be non-issues. [More on benefits of transferring, what my new schools have to offer, and where my passions will dive into].

Undergraduate / ALIGNMENT with my goals not found; [TRANSFER Essay]Common App for top-tier schools [8]

Hi guys,

I'm an undergraduate attempting to transfer schools (aiming for Harvard, Stanford, etc...) and was wondering if anyone could give this essay a look. Yes, I know it's pretty blunt, straightforward, and not exactly creative, but from what I've gathered, that's the way transfer essays are meant to be written. They're supposed to illustrate real necessity for transferring and discuss academic/social goals, as far as I know.

Any sort of feedback regarding style, content, length, etc will be very much valued. :-)

BTW, current word count is 649, which is literally one word fewer than the "limit," so if you think something deserves to be cut/appropriately shortened, please let me know!

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PROMPT: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. (250-650 words)

I am transferring because I have discovered my academic and professional goals are not aligned with the institution where I currently study. While University of Kansas has a lot going for it-a big sports following, an EECS Department supported by Google, and a very warm student community-several components that I feel are key to my success in computer science are not an integral part of the school, and I seek an institution that better serves my academic and personal needs.

The primary goal of the EECS Department at my current institution is noble and respectable: To place students in the company of their choice. However, I seek a different work and academic culture. I feel that the contributions I aim to achieve, particularly in computer science, are beyond the needs of an established corporation. When I was a rookie engineer at VMware, I had the incredible privilege of working on the newest cloud management tool, vCHS. I am enormously proud that when my colleagues attended VMworld 2013, they got to see the results of code I contributed to on the big screen. Yet, throughout my time at the company, I developed a gut feeling that I was being inefficient with my passions for academia and technical progress-that I was an already-useful asset and had incredible potential, but this wasn't the right place to develop that potential. That feeling has been growing, as if a cancerous lump in my chest was begging me to keep moving forward; as if it knew there was a lot more to computer science than I could imagine, and I had to uncover those secrets in the right way. I want to be in an environment that doesn't just push students to join the industry, but equips students with a broad, competitive education, and encourages and supports students working on their own projects, startups, inventions, and research, so we can lead the industry.

In addition to a healthier and more progressive learning environment, I seek better academic and entrepreneurial opportunities. While I am confident, to some degree, that I have the entrepreneurial and technical capabilities to make the next dazzly-do iPhone app that sets me five figures ahead of the average teenager, my pursuit of the startup dream has sizzled down to charred cinder. I realize that true progress is not measured by how much money I make or how much popularity is potentially involved, but by what meaningful contributions I can make to society. To turn academic advantages into meaningful contributions, and ultimately into a profitable business or an open-source project is along the lines of what I aim to do with the high-quality opportunities available at my next destination.

Finally, I am a misfit at my current institution. I am too often an exception than I can be comfortable with. My unwavering drive-almost a sense of urgency-to work hard and succeed is not as prevalent among my peers. That means I'm the guy begging for challenges from professors who aren't as used to my ambition. That also means that I'm the guy reading "Introduction to the Theory of Computation" while waiting for the dryer to finish, and that I'm the guy who chokes when the air is saturated with cigarette smoke. I'm in the wrong crowd. I feel as if I'm in an environment that inhibits my capabilities, and instead, I desire one which supports and demands my capabilities be put to great use.

Ultimately, my objectives are to hone my computer science, social, academic, and leadership skills among diverse yet like-minded students, and evolve to a position where I can make the contributions my community and my university need. Whether this is in the form of a future professorship, financial grants, or results in research, I do not know, but if I am sure about anything, it's that I will make it there with an institution that fits me on my side.