Writing Feedback / Ielts Essay task 1 : Different forms of entertainment over a five- year period [3]

Question.
The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five- year period. Write a report for a university describing the information shown below.

The bar graph provided shows different amounts of money spend on various modes of entertainment by Asia, Europe and United States in the year 1995 and 2000.A quick overall view shows United states spends the highest amount of money in every field of entertainment with total amount of $ 257 billion in the year 2000.

In world entertainment market Asia spends the least of $67 to $110 billion in the years 1995 and 2000 respectively. Whereas in Europe equal amount of money was spend on cinema, videos and music in the years 1995 and 2000 but, interestingly expenditure in publication and television increased significantly by the year 2000 giving a rise in overall total of $ 34 billion.In United states except cinema all expenditure gradually increased making a significant rise in total money spend by the year 2000.

In conclusion money spend in cinemas was the only constant among all the three groups while other expenditures raised markedly from 1995 to 2000.

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Writing Feedback / Involvement of children in different paid work, is it good or bad? [3]

The issue of whether or not children should be engaged in some paid work has sparked a heated debate. While some argue that having some employment experience is favorable to a child's learning and development. I contend that it would bring harm to the child's health and overall development.

First of all a workplace is designed for adults, so it is not child- friendly. For instance, switch- boards are placed high, desk and chair doesn't suit a child's height, emergency fire- extinguisher's are installed higher to suit adult height.Furthermore,various hazards such as polluted air and chemical fumes are produced in factories and farms. Undoubtedly young people would suffer in such work-place.

Also, intense and production oriented environment lacks sense of liberty, a child needs for a overall development of ones personality.Moreover a work-place requires a responsible and competent adults who can handle work pressure and meet deadlines. These circumstances when expected with a child can burden his ability which can cause him to lose his childhood innocence and force him to be mature untimely. This has been proven to be a drawback in children development by child psychologist as well

To conclude, a child paid employment experience would lead to a negative impact on their health and learning ability. However recognizing the importance of children's learning and their awareness of responsibility,it is advisable to encourage them to be involved in volunteering opportunities, where they can learn but still be considerate about their tender age and ability to cope.

Writing Feedback / Despite having few harmful consequences, Internet has a positive effect on the society. [4]

Question : The internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. although some of these changes have been negative , the overall affect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinion on this?

Technology had offered us with internet a few decades before but it has enriched our lives spectacularly.Internet has enhanced productivity of business industry as well as personal development. Despite having few harmful consequences, in my opinion it has a positive effect on the society.

Regarding business, internet has facilitated marketing skills, updated information to the buyers and made communication easy and quick for instance we have e-mails, instant messaging sites, video conferencing facilities and internet telephone.

Furthermore, in our personal lives, beside facilitating the communication mentioned above , the internet has given us access to infinite range of news and information. In addition, it has provided us with convenience of publishing, downloading , watching online videos, online classes and chatting with friends from any corner of the world.It has also made banking and buying goods easier than before.

however, there are negative sides to internet revolution.It has brought along negative factors like cyber crimes for example ID theft, credit card fraud, and children watching pornography easily.It has also led people to social isolation especially teens because of its excess use.

In conclusion, internet has given us more positive changes which outweigh the negative ones. We simply need to be more careful in the ways we use it, as we can't deny its positive impact on our lives.