Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by tarhuna16
Name: Елена Портян&#10
Joined: Nov 6, 2013
Last Post: Nov 24, 2013
Threads: 4
Posts: 5  
From: Ukraine
School: Anglomania

Displayed posts: 9
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
tarhuna16   
Nov 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / bar graph task 1 spending money on entertainment [5]

Try to use the same tenses in all essay. For example that Publishing was the most popular sort of amusement in all regions. Television had been necessary as well.
tarhuna16   
Nov 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL]Agree or disagree: The telephone has greater influence on people's lives than TV [4]

Well done. You have an excellent vocabulary, however did you follow the word limit requirement? For IELTS it must be 250-280 words. I think you exceeded the limit.I didn't get what you mean went to Spinash you mean Spain?My cousin went to Spinash to continue her further study. In the past, I could not be able to talk to my cousin in view of such a long distance between us. can- modal verb, could- past tense, be able - modal verb and it has present, past and future form I mean you could use I was not ableHowever, nowadays at the mercy of the telephone, she can share her study experience and feeling about delicious food in Spinash with me at anytime and I can also know about whether she is accustomed to the life abroad . I think too long sentences.
tarhuna16   
Nov 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / Unpaid social service revive patriotism and responsibilities among students [2]

The graduates of a high school are bound to occupy superior positions in a society. Hence, they will be responsible for further development and prosperity and it's vitally important for them to take a brass of things, to learn to cater the man in the street. Community unpaid service- like charity work, teaching unprivileged children - could inspire them to find unexpected solution and remain conscious citizen.

First of all, in order to foster a competitive specialist a high school employs a wide range of teaching methods like seminars, conferences, lectures and many others. The mandatory community service could supply students with the reliable information how thing goes in realty. For example, it would be invaluable experience for future politician or economist to work for charity or teach children It will help them to perceive the urgency of people needs and it may point out a possible solution.

Secondly, a charity work allows graduates to remain human, to be modest and considerable citizen. The best example is the Royal Family. Their participation in the numerous charity events couldn't give absolutely plausible insight in normal people's life. Nevertheless it expresses their attitudes towards citizen and sometimes could spotlight their needs.

Nobody would argue against the fact that community unpaid service detracts valuable time from a high school's curriculum. It would be more practical to get some low qualified job but in your field. Therefore unpaid social service revive their patriotism, their responsibilities, moreover it it enrich them with new ideas and out-of-the-box solutions.
tarhuna16   
Nov 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL]Does the telephone greater influence on people's lives than television has? [3]

You are well done, however you slightly deviated of the topic. As I get from your essay you persuade reader in advantages of computer and cell phone. You task to compare television and telephone and lastly You must state do you agree or not. Beside this you have a great skill! KUDOS!!
tarhuna16   
Nov 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / The salary of top management stuff and menial workers in big companies differ [3]

The salary of top management stuff and menial workers in big companies differ significantly. This difference allows motivate ordinary workers for further development. Moreover, high salary appeals gifted managers and prevents them to be reemployed by rival companies. So to my mind it solution is absolutely justified.

First of all, the talented manager is a major asset for any company, as he determines a success and prosperity. For example efficient management's decision on proper time for advert or modernization or launching new project will lead company to complete success or total failure in fierce global market competition. These decisions are utmost important because of their scale, as they applied the big company. Furthermore, as a major factor for success, top manager stuff could be reemployed by business rival. Therefore labor market is overcrowded; the gifted managers which could understand and manage people in business setting are always at scarce. Hence, high salary is a powerful mean to retain the talent.

Fairly high salary serves as proper motivation for further development. For example, menial workers who didn't get a necessary knowledge or skills for various reasons as a poverty or unwillingness will eager to learn in pursue for promoted position. Consequently, it could turn out that not all of them will meet the condition, though some talents would be discovered.

The leaders of big companies are getting salary that in many times more than salary of ordinary workers. I think this reasonable as it is the main engine for further personal development of prospective candidates and insurance for the company of the long and prosperous collaboration.
tarhuna16   
Nov 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS1: process by which academic books are published [4]

The flow chart illustrates the process of publishing academic books.I'd rather usedscientific or course books.

First, a publisher needsI guess it should be modal verb without ending-s to research the market so as to know which subjects are in demand and if there is any competition. Then, the decision has to be madeI'd sayThere are two options to escape repetition. whether submitted manuscript ought to be selected or authors for new material should be sought after. WhenThe next stage the manuscript is submitted, it is then reviewed by the readers and the best project is chosen for commission. If any corrections are needed, a manuscript is sent back to the author so that its final version meets given criteria.

IfIn a case the publication is likely to be a financial success, a purposely designed marketing strategy is prepared to encourage more people to buy the book. After the price is set and decisions concerning distribution are made, the books is sent to a warehouse and then published.

However, if the book is not likely to bring financial profit, the whole process should be repeated.
WELL done KUDOS!!!! Excellent vocabulary !
tarhuna16   
Nov 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / The charts below show the number of girls per 100 boys in all levels of education. [2]

These three bar charts compare the changes in a proportion of girls participating in an education process for developed and developing countries. The number of girls, at all levels of education experienced a gradual growth for both types of countries.

For countries with an unstable economy the number of girl attaining a primary education went up from 83 in 1990 to 87 in 2000. The same increase occurred for the data for secondary education and high school, where the figures moved upwards from 66 to 75 in 1990 and 2000 respectively.

The data for girls' pupils attended various level of school in developed world improved too. However the trend for developed world is that - the higher level of education the bigger proportion of girl participated in educational process. There were 93 girls in primary school in 1990, while 98 girls in secondary school and moreover 105 girls in high school. The quantity of girls received a high education in the developed world outnumbered the quantity boys. Therefore the number of girls attended a primary school was bigger and totaled 87 in 2000 than the number of girl in high school with 75 for the developing countries.
tarhuna16   
Nov 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a waste! [3]

With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Every day on the Earth 1000 children die from malnutrition and hunger, over 2000 people die from cancer and AIDS. Every year environmentalists urge global society to take some urgent measures to stop global warming, to preserve the endangered spices. Such considerations have led some to question the ethics of investing huge sums of money on space exploration. As far as I concerned, the price that we pay for space exploration is unreasonably high and those money could be used better.

Public become aware about AIDS as a fatal disease just in the 1980s and 2000s it already becomes an epidemic, which quickly spreads all over the world, affecting young population. There are still no drugs to eradicate the virus, no vaccine to protect risk groups and to safe lives of millions. Moreover the maintenance treatment for each person could reach as far as 20000 dollars per month, which is barely affordable by every sick person. So, state financial support is the last resort for those who are already sick; likewise it is the hope for society that modern science would find remedy to take control over AIDS.

Another global problem is poverty. Most of the population of the developing countries struggle for food, source of clean water, access for medical care. It will entail enormous international finance to facilitate and sustain development of economy, health sector and education. Therefore, this major problem couldn't be neglected for the sake of space exploration.

No one would argue against the fact that space research could open the door in a new era of human existence, provide the scientists with interesting findings. However I inclined to think that money must be spend to curb poverty, to find treatment for AIDS rather than to conduct highly scientific research.
tarhuna16   
Nov 24, 2013
Undergraduate / I always prefer to be an effective leader instead of being a neutral member! [2]

Well done! However I have some suggestions, minor . I always prefer to be an effective leader rather than being a neutral member. I am always ready to accept responsibility I have always been eager to be the leader of a group. It is primary importance for me to be responsible and active group leader. "------------------" program would pave the way for me ,to achieve my dream - I'd rather used more official style "----" program allow to fulfill my goal and so on. I didn't find a full stop. Did you confuse them with comma?

However you essay is strong, good range vocabulary!!
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳