Writing Feedback / Providing financial support for elders is the responsibility of governments or not? [3]

Hi, I am a novice. Help me to enhance my poor writing skill.
Thanks a lot ;)
Sa Kul

Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself.

Agree or disagree?

My essay:

People have different views on whether or not governments should help senior citizens. Although I accept the idea we all have a responsibility to save money for retirement, I disagree with the idea that elderly people should receive no support from governments.

There are several reasons why people should have obligation for their retirement instead of expecting pension from governments. First of all, if people receive no money from government when they retire, by no means do they waste their wages to nonsense activities to save for their future when they were young. It's undeniable that younger will spend most of their money to shopping, travelling, or even activities harm to society such as illegal racing and gambling as a result of feeling peace of mind with government's support. Furthermore, mitigation government's burden is one of advantages of no support for senior citizens. When governments no need to pay pension, they could be save a huge of money and use this money to invest to the next generations or upgrade infrastructure. Therefore, government support no money to elderly not only helps young generation use money wisely to saving but also saves money for young generation.

Some observes might say it is unfair for people if they do not receive any support from government when they retire. There are many people have low salary therefore they can't save a significant amount of money for their retirement. Besides, many retired people spend their whole life to building countries. With their devotion they deserve to be received pension as well as they have right to ask for healthcare system from government.

In conclusion, government should give sufficient money to retired for their living but not too abundant. This is an equitable way for senior citizens as well as ensure budget to promote young generation.

Writing Feedback / We now live in 'consumer societies' where money and possessions are given too much import? [2]

Help me to correct mistakes and analyze ideas. Thank you so much :)

Many people say that we now live in 'consumer societies' where money and possessions are given too much importance. 
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes argue that we now live in materialistic world and that we value money too highly. In my opinion, some people are extremely money oriented, but many of us place more importance on other value.

In fact, it's undeniable that more society develop, the higher money be valued. While our ancestor's demand just is food and accommodation, people's demand nowadays not simple like that, they travelling, relaxing, and shopping to satisfy themselves and they seem can't survive without high technology such as mobile phone and internet therefore they need a huge amount of money to pay for all their demands. This would pushes people into earning money race with desire to create as much money as possible. Most people may willing to damage to the environment, use astute ways to cheat each other or even throw away their self-esteem with their bottomless pit of greed. For examples, Vedan Company in Singapore pours tons of untreated waste into river due to expense to handle the waste is too high. This Vedan Company's irresponsibility leads to environment pollution and affect seriously to the health of citizens living around it.

However, many others realized that money can't make them feel happy and they consider money just like a tool to living, not a purpose of life. Instead of taking on money, they spend more time for caring family or for their passion. They work and devote for the society with their conscience, not for earning money purpose. In fact, there are numerous artists spend whole life to devote to genuine art, teachers convey lessons to their students with enthusiasm or doctors cure patients with warm heart.

In conclusion, money is an important factor but not is the most priority thing in one's life. People should use money wisely as a useful tool for meaningful life with precise things such as good health, sincere feelings and true passion.

Letters / 'recommending Ms. A' - SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM [4]

LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION
To Whom It May Concern
I have great pleasure in recommending Ms. A in her pursuit of higher educational qualification - Master's Degree in MBA. I have been acquainted with A for the past three years as a student of undergraduate studies under the Accounting in our institute.

I first met her in 2011 in Review class for preparation for Microsoft Office World Champion 2011 (The class includes around 20 best students who passed one test before among nearly five thousand students in our institute). In that class, she has proved herself as an intelligent student and her willing to learn new knowledge.

One semester later, I met this intelligent student again in D08QT which class I was a lecturer in Real Estate Market subject and Corporate Finance subject. Once again, I was completely impressed in her prominence in D08QT class. She is monitor therefore I recognized she had to handle many work in class from little stuffs to big work including no-name work which took much time of her. However, she always stand at least top five best students in the class every semesters. To specific, she ranked third in Real Estate Market and first in Corporate Finance which was two subjects I taught her. During period that I taught her directly when she was sophomore, I recognized that she has not only the capacity of self- analysis, research through mid-term tests but also the skill of presentation through assignment in class. Furthermore, she has many good soft skills as a result of being monitor. Strikingly, no sooner I announced to my class to gather to congregate teamwork for a presentation than did most of the remaining students ask her to join to her team. I could understand if I were them, I also want to work with a knowledgeable and responsible leader team like her. It is noticeable that her team which she was leader always got high score as well as everyone feel fun and merry by dint of her enthusiasm and her humor. In 2014, she was one of four students achieve Very Good degree in D09KT1 class and ranked third in whole Faculty of Accounting in our institute. On graduation ceremony, I feel proud to give her the certificate of merit of Posts and Telecommunications Institute of Technology to honor very good students who achieve good academic performance.

In my unbiased opinion, I believe that with knowledge, intelligence, good soft skills accompany with her hard work, she will contribute significantly to the research in your university. I strongly recommend her for studies at your esteemed university with financial assistantship. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me at the above address.

Sincerely