Undergraduate / 'Actions speak louder then words' - Texas A&M transfer student essay [8]

Thank you!

Writing Feedback / AP English class, We need to write a 300-400 essay on WHAT HOME IS? [5]

You could also say that home is family. Where ever your family is, that's home.

Writing Feedback / Robert Pattinson is for me the best actor around the world [5]

You have a lot of grammar issues and also spelling. You should run it through spell check and it will make this so much better.

Undergraduate / 'Actions speak louder then words' - Texas A&M transfer student essay [8]

Saving one child at time was the quote written on my PALS (Peer Assistance Leadership Skills) t-shirt. PALS was one of the organizations I joined during my junior year in high school. It was an organization where I would go five elementary schools each week. My responsibility as a PAL was to be a mentor to these kids and keep their hopes up high for education or life in general. These kids had either a hard time at school with getting bullied or making low grades or having a hard personal life at home. Some of my kids were always down, which made me really thankful of my childhood years. I was one of the lucky ones to get chosen for PALS. One of my benefits was that I knew four languages, Gujarati, Spanish, Hindi, and English. I wish I when I was young in my elementary years I would have had a PAL that would come once every week of the school year and guide me because I felt like I was bullied through my elementary years. My classmates would make fun of my accent, how I was Indian, and some would call me a terrorist because that's when 9/11 took place. It gave me an opportunity what I always wanted to have to other kids. I never thought that I could make such a big impact on these little kids' lives. One memorable thing my child told me is that "Krupa, you saved my life." This was so special to me because I know she was having violence at home which took a toll on her life and it made her really depressed where she wanted to quit. Just then I decided that this is something I wanted to do with my future. I wanted to make a difference in people's lives for the better. I always wanted to see children laughing and smiling big. Through these times I was going through problems myself but my problems were inconsequential to these little kids. I would never smile because my teeth were really bad, finally I got braces which boosted my confidence up really high and I wasn't afraid of people making fun of my teeth because I was getting them fixed. For this reason, I want to be an orthodontist. Braces made a substantial change in my life and I want to do that for other kids. Hopefully through your university, Texas A&M I will make my dreams come true. The reason why I am so eager to attend Texas A&M is because they are top in the United States ranking for their Biology program and its number two top university in Texas. Another reason is because you guys have a dental school which I always have wanted to go to. PALS gave me an opportunity to help out kids and it assured me that I wanted to go into a field that would essentially help people and hopefully through Texas A&M I will be able to.

please give me feedback on making my sentences better, if I'm on track, and what I need to do to improve.

Undergraduate / 'Actions speak louder then words' - Texas A&M transfer student essay [8]

Thank you for your honest opinion. I decided that this essay was all over the place but I wrote another one. Tell me what you think of it.

Undergraduate / USC Supplement Essays for a hopeful computer science and business administration major [13]

Very well written. Interesting as well.

Undergraduate / 'Actions speak louder then words' - Texas A&M transfer student essay [8]

Thank you! Can you please point them out to me?

Undergraduate / HSF Academic Challenge- Science Fair Journey [3]

I like this essay but there are some grammatical errors.

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1: A survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. [4]

interesting.