Undergraduate / "Why are you taking art history?"; UT-Austin Transfer [5]

Hello, I'm applying to UT-Austin for fall 2014 and I would like some feedback on my topic D essay. I'm bad at grammar and that kind of stuff but I feel my essay is decent. So please give me any and all advice. Please, Please and Thank you :) Major-specific essay (required second essay for architecture and art majors)

"Why are you taking art history?" my mother asks me in her usual somewhat judgmental way the first time I handed her my class schedule. Like most replies I give my mother I replied with a shrug and continue with whatever I was doing. I didn't really stop and ask myself until the first day of school- why am I taking AP Art History? I had never really seen myself as artistic person; I liked to doodle and make crafts but I felt that I was no more artistic than the next person. Never the less, I choose AP art history as my elective course and who knew I'd be so glad I did by the end of my junior year of high school. There would come to be several things that I loved about my art history class but a few of them included the knowledge I gained about art and artist, how my perception of art changed, and my awesome, passionate teacher.

Throughout the year I learned about what all art entailed: from why the artist created the work, the cultural antiquity, to how certain works were utilized. Though I sifted trough tons of notecards containing dates, places and names; there was nothing more intriguing to me that learning about a new piece of artwork. I learned that art has a purpose and that there is so much more to it than just paint and canvas or carved marble. Behind a painting is a story; behind a sculpture is a person. Being more of analytical person I wanted understand why art was made the way it was or why certain things were created. Hence, why my interest in art grew and grew as the year went on. I never thought that words like, chiaroscuro and contrapposto would be etched into my vocabulary. And that there would come to be so much that I would take from that class and apply it to my actual life.

It was my senior year of high school when I went to Washington D.C on a school programmed trip called Close-Up, when I really saw how much I was influenced by art in everyday life. The art and architecture I saw in D.C astounding and truly inspiring. When I first entered the Smithsonian, I was in love. Hosting mostly American art from eighteenth century all the way to modern contemporary, the Smithsonian was the first time I had seen any real art work up close. There was something about seeing all these wonderful pieces of art in personal that I say changed me for forever. That day I saw art in a whole new way; unlike looking at it in a textbook it all became so real. What I was mostly intrigued by was the craftsmanship and the skill that exuberated from every piece of work I saw. And what prided me was that I was looking at all the techniques, skills, and cultures that I had learned about in class. In all, I came away from D.C with a love and admiration for art that I had never had before and I felt more connected to my newfound passion. Upon returning to school the next week I was eager to boast about all that I had learned and all that I had seen to my AP art teacher. My teacher, a UT graduate herself, shared a passion for art that exuberated through her teaching every single day. As an artist herself, she took her own experiences and incorporated them into what she taught, which is essentially what got me interested in art as a career. Listening to her recount her time exploring art works in most of Europe and working at museums before she became a teacher, made me want to follow in a similar path. Upon entering college, taking art history was a priority for me this time. By the time I finish my freshman year of college I will have taken four art history courses and be well prepared for an art history degree at the University of Texas. Art history may be a newfound passion for me but I have never felt more connecting to something than I do this. I love art and what it has taught about the world, people and even myself. Nearly three years ago I took my first art history class and I'm so proud that I did, I have learned more than I could have believed and gained a passion that pray I will get to carry on into my future at University of Texas.

Writing Feedback / Educational Inequality Essay - UT Austin Essay E [4]

Hello, I'm looking to apply to UT and for essay E which says: Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

I just wrapped this essay up and the deadline is rapidly approaching. Therefore ANY comments are welcome but especially grammatical and sentence flow advice. Thanks so much!

Education is the most significant segment of humanity. Education insists on creating a better future for those that obtain it. Yet, educational inequality is a characteristic of society that has remained present throughout American history. This social defect is the difference between certain children being reared and cultivated in an environment that teaches them well, provides them with an abundance of resources and prepares each child for a post-secondary education; versus a student foster in an environment were funds are low and the overall outcome leads to an unscrupulous future for that child.

Subsequently, educational inequality stems from a deep-rooted issue in America - discrimination. It wasn't until the mid 60's that the law implemented properly educating children other than Caucasian. The desegregation of schools during the civil rights movement opened the doors for students of color to receive a proper education, however, the attempts were seemingly futile because colored students still didn't acquire the same things white students did. This is the premise of educational inequality historically and now the issue spans across all minorities. Race, gender and economic class play a heavy role in educational inequality today. On average in America a quarter of schools with the high percentage of Black and Latino students are not offered Algebra II, according to The Nation Newsletter. Comparatively, Black and Latino students account for 40 percent of enrollment at schools with gifted programs, but only 26 percent of students are represented in such programs, according to the same news print. This type of discrepancy happens all over America in different forms. Certain schools offering lower-level academics is incorporated due to an erroneous theory that African Americans as well as other minority groups do not and cannot learn at the rate in which Caucasians do. By allowing this type of disadvantage, students are enabled. As a result an African American or Latino child might inherit the mentality that he or she is unable to achieve the success that he or she can achieve. What can a child become when they have no faith in themselves? They essentially extract out what we give them, therefore I feel it is imperative to give them the best.

More specifically, within the African American community, an issue plaguing young students is the aspect of being in school in order to forward their academic success. Showing up to school is a large part of becoming educated. One cannot learn if they are not in the classroom. In regard to this, Black students are expelled at the three times the rate of white students according to The Nation Newsletter. Serving this injustice to black students causes problems greater than just within the school system. These black children will most likely be likely to get involved in gangs, drugs and violence outside of school because they will not be in the structured setting that school provides. This startling statistic also correlates with the higher rate of the imprisonment of African Americans (especially males) within the United States. Being an African American student and aspiring to be an African American educator, these statistics truly highlight to me the need for change. But I as an educator I know I will do my best to drive and rear all of my students towards the right direction.

Therefore, growing up as the daughter of an educator, I grew up with a mother who instilled within me the value of an education. We moved from a lower economic town in pursuit of higher educational values. The school I attended in the lower economic area was rundown and due to low funding a lot of the supplies, equipment and literature were passed down from other older schools and were not up to par. In contrast, I spent the rest of my schooling in a nicer suburban school in the Houston area. Even only being in elementary school I could see the difference from one school to another. Because of the area in which I lived in before, I received a lower level education than when I lived in a mostly affluent Caucasian community. In my hometown, I grew up around mostly African American and Latino children whereas, in Houston I grew up around predominantly Caucasian children. From each school I saw because of race, the difference in conduct, expectation and exploitation. Children in my hometown mostly came from working single-parent households, below or at the poverty line. Therefore, their economic class affected the way they were schooled.

I understand that there are always going to be discrepancies amongst us in this world; however, I also believe that children are societies most precious asset. Our youth essentially cultivate future leaders, politician, scientist - all the people society needs to grow and learn. Because I want to pursue becoming an educator and understand what a blessing it was for my parents to make the sacrifice for me to attend a better school system, educational inequality greatly concerns me. Working in a lower income school has also shed light on this problem America faces. I worked with children of mostly the Hispanic race and I could see that because of language barriers and cultural disparities they faced, I saw how they were succumb to educational inequality. Because school zoning is often determined by where you lived, these students attended schools in subordinate areas of town. Their schools were not as new or nice and neither were the learning material in which they were given. But I believe that neither race nor wealth should determine a child's education. I want to see ever child be successfully educated; no matter the color of their skin, how much their parents make for a living or where they come from. America is a melting pot in which we all blend and education is the key to life, thus why no student should be denied an exemplary one.

Undergraduate / I am many things and Black is one of them - Personal Statement for UT Austin; Essay A [3]

Hello, I'm looking to apply to UT Austin and would like some feedback about my personal statement. Personal statements kind of confuse me so I'd really appreciate the help. Thanks!

I' am many things and Black is one of them; however, " Being colored is a metaphysical dilemma I haven't conquered yet." When I was growing up I felt indifferent towards my race. To me having the same colored skin as a Hershey's bar just meant that in God's coloring book he choose a different shade for me. But being black at a predominately white school meant getting teased and bullied. To white people I wasn't white enough and to the Black people I wasn't black enough. For years I've felt stuck in the middle of a racial limbo. Therefore, I grew up without an understanding of how to just be me. I was constantly trying to fit into one group or the other yet I wanted so badly to not be labeled or succumb to conformity. Coming to a place where I can finally except that I'm Black and need to embrace my identity instead of deny it was a hard toll that took some self-confidence and self-discovery. Thus, in my ongoing adolescences I've discovered that I want to be "black not blackish". I want to understand my past and my present. Even though my race doesn't define me, it is apart of me. That is why I've chosen to pursue studying African and African Diaspora Studies. So far I've known little beyond the exterior about what it means to be who I am. But as I grow more into the person I want to be, I feel it is essential to understand where I've come from and what it is that has brought me here now.

"You never know where you're going until you know where you've been". These words that my grandmother spoke come to mind when I think of why I want to study African and African Diaspora Studies and more importantly why I think it is an important topic to study. It is an imperative to embrace and embody the different cultures that expand across this country and across this world. In my high school I grew up around a mixture of people. However, few looked like me, but I still discovered an interest in those that did. Living in the diverse community taught me the importance that culture holds and the prevalence it has in our world today. What impact do/have we played in history? What shapes us? Where do we come from? All these questions and more I feel that I will be able to answer for myself by studying African and African Diaspora studies. Thus, why I've tried to take initiative in knowing about where I come from. As a student government officer in high school I initiated a Black History Month board in our main hallway that displayed several prominent black influential history makers. Even though it was a small effort, I wanted our school to have a display of Black excellence.

Receiving student feedback on their appreciation of the board helped me see the power of submerging myself in my culture and allowed me to see the significance of activism. My junior and senior year of high school I was blessed to have educators that further opened my mind to black literature, film and politics. It was then that I knew that I had a keen interested in these matters and hoped that one day I could further my education in them.

Upon entering college, forwarding my educational interest in African American studies was imperative, but unfortunately the major is not offered at my current university and the education on the subject is limited. However classes such as sociology and American history have allowed me to still educate myself on pieces of our history. Becoming a member of my universities NAACP has also granted me the opportunity to discover and initiate productivity within my culture by participating in political, educational and social issues that burden African American students today. Yet, I yearn to explore and excavate several embellishments of my culture that I have yet to explore. Not only am I interested in African culture in America but all over this world. African's history is rich all over the world and what we have achieved is extraordinary. Comparatively, I believe that understanding the past prepares you to make a difference in the future. I want to be apart of my culture past and present; it is my belief that Black studies could allow me to obtain that goal. I pray that by attending the University of Texas and majoring in Black Studies I can further my educational goals and dreams. I believe that the opportunities within and without my field that UT can provide are boundless.

If able to attend the University of Texas, I see myself being able to step into the person that I've strived to become thus far. I've put a lot of effort into my studies while substantially overcoming some of my demons in dealing with depression and anxiety since I was thirteen and an immune disease that caused a medical scare my freshman year of college. Both instances took a huge tool on me mentally and physically as well as affecting my classroom performance. However, I feel that I have worked hard and been tremendously blessed, so now I would like to progress towards my ultimate goals in life. Subsequently, I believe the biggest stride I've made is discovering my purpose in wanting to study African American studies. The knowledge I desire to obtain from this field is knowledge that I hope to use in further educating my own students. A huge beneficial part of an education from the University of Texas for me is the UTeach program; granting me the ability to obtain a liberal arts education and supply me with a teacher certification to enable my passion for teaching. By encompassing both passions I feel that the University of Texas is a perfect place for me to do what I love and become the person that I strive to be. "Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself". In life I have learned a great deal but the blessing in living is being ability to keep growing and learning and I know that at the University of Texas, I can learn and grow into the person I want to be.