Posts by shreyansh13 Name: Shreyansh Mani
Joined: Jun 22, 2014 |
Last Post: Jul 28, 2014
Threads: 3 Posts: 4
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From: India School: Amity University
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Displayed posts: 7
Writing Feedback /
Person can only be happy if he has got a job which he enjoy [4]
People generally think that if they have a job and they are earning good enough then they have achieved everything. But the most important thing everyone forgets is that they actually like where they are working. Or are they happy with their work. One must consider that working only would not give you everything; it's working at a place where you actually enjoy your work and have pleasure in pursuing the same. The people have made a perception towards it that if they are earning good then they are happy. But it is not the same. What happiness would you get if you have to do a job in which you do not get interest in. None. But if you work at a place where you love to do what has been given to you gives you joy which no one can define. What could be more delightful than working on something for which you are passionate. I find it really amusing to work on something of which I am capable of and not just do it for the sake of it completion. Working at a place which helps you earn better gives you satisfaction but working somewhere you enjoy the work gives you pleasantness. Supposedly if an engineer is asked to work in a bank or if a doctor is asked to repair a machine then they probably would not relish the tasks given to them. A person can only be pleased if he is functional where he belongs to. It's the pleasance of mind one gets when he has what he had hoped-for. So in my belief a person can only be happy if he has got a job which he enjoy rather than working at a place where he earns a lot because in the end it's the self-felicitousness that matters.
Writing Feedback /
IELTS Essay - Negative attitude of young people towards learning [3]
i would like to say it is a well written essay. you have mentioned every aspect regarding the matter of concern for young people to leave studies. but you should also consider the fact that it is not only the pressure of studies and exams which leads to a child's swinging emotional state and stops them from studying further but also the stiff competition to grab the opportunity to be in the most prestigious college. if a student fails to perform in his tests; no matter how hard he tries, then he has to deal with the displeasure from his parents and also the disrepute from the society which is a matter of concern for a child's developmental stage.
PS- i am new to this writing stuff so doesn't know much.
hope that helps you with the analysis :)
Writing Feedback /
TOEFL - automobiles have changed our lives [3]
Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people's lives.
Automobiles
Bicycles
AirplanesIn my personal view automobiles are the ones that have brought have a new era of transportation. It's because of them that our lives have become so simple and blistering. They have brought a significant and rapid progress in our lives. You want to go to a place; just hop into a car or bus and you can reach at your destination in no time. It has made our travel time shorter promoting its value as a substantial alternative. It is also convenient as it saves you from steaming hard work that you would have to do without it. In this modern world automobile has become necessary thing and in a family each person will have their own vehicle. No one wants to depend on others. Not only in big cities or metropolitan cities but also in urban and rural areas this culture has developed. We cannot deny the fact that it has reformed our means of communication. In earlier days, people used to travel by means of trained animals which was a tedious job as you cannot push them beyond their capableness. But with the evolution of technology, the means of transportation has reached a new prominence. Now we have automobiles running on different kind of fuels which gives them a steep advantage over other vehicles.
With the advancement in technology automobiles have also accomplished a variety of reconstruction. Several kind of vehicles are now available comprising of cars, buses, trucks etc. and people are lavish to use any of them depending upon their requirement. Nonetheless, automobiles provide us with more alternatives of entertainment. People owing cars can travel anywhere without any worry because it has become quiet convenient for them. The invention of automobile has really been a boon for us. Some might complain about its effect on environment or the crowdedness it has accrued but no one can ignore its usefulness. It has been accepted as a part of our life now.
Undergraduate /
What's your career plan?/ What do you wish to gain from this program? [3]
as you know there is some stiff competition then you must give your priority to this program. stating that you would like to pursue a career in business would seem like you are not enthusiastic about it. to make your application promising enough to be considered, you must make them believe that you are determined to get into police academy and looking for an opportunity. you must show that it is not an option for you.
hope this helps :)
Writing Feedback /
TOEFL - people are way more disparate at the exterior contrary to what they are inside [4]
People are often classified into different categories such as smart, beautiful, handsome, gorgeous and many more but what these classifications fail to remark in a person is his/her character. Its the behavior of a person that describes him not his looks. Judging a person on his external looks would be similar to looking at a flower in night. You would not get any idea about it until it blossoms; similarly, a person should be reckoned by his doings. It is the actions of a person that defines him. One should not be characterized from a glimpse of an eye. When you see someone; it is their visual representation that you perceive, but deep down within there could be a different reality.
In an personal encounter I experienced how a superficial glance can change a person's attitude towards someone. Once a beggar with a broken leg asked me for money and being kind-hearted I offered him the change I had. But later I saw the same person coming out from a liquor store walking on his 2 legs perfectly. The view had me startled and made me realize that now not in any way I would be able to trust anyone; even if he/she is a righteous person.
In the end I would like to conclude that people are way more disparate at the exterior contrary to what they are inside. So before making a decision on a person from his external appearance try to look what he is really within. A person looking neatly dressed could be a murderer whereas a person dripping red fluid could be a painter. It is one's own accomplishments that should be considered in defining him as it is the most essential thing that elucidate a personage
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