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Posts by Ayman Hussien
Name: Hussien
Joined: Aug 9, 2014
Last Post: May 27, 2015
Threads: 1
Posts: 7  
From: Egypt
School: Ainshams university, Production engineering

Displayed posts: 8
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Ayman Hussien   
Aug 12, 2014
Scholarship / 'I always used to be a curious person' - scholarship in manufacturing engineering; motivation letter [14]

Hello, i would like to have your help in this motivation letter draft to know the required modifications:
Hi, i would like to have your help to improve my scholarship motivation letter

Manufacturing is one of the most important fields of life that helps us to update our items and products everyday by making them using different ways and techniques. Every product requires a specific technique to make it precisely, so researches are made to improve the current techniques or discover new techniques. I hope to learn new improving methods in welding and how they will affect the quality of the welding joint and its strength.

To achieve this, I had a B.sc in design and production engineering, which focuses on studying materials, how to design and make different products, how to apply different methods of manufacturing and how to assemble the product.

I also acquired some courses in manufacturing as welding and cnc machining, besides my training in different factories in order to understand more about the steps of making products and the engineering reasons of using these steps.

I always improve my skills by self learning new fields as basics of electronics, and Matlab to help me during my researches, and if there is any new external course I will try my hard to gain it.

Actually, I want to study in Germany because I can have more information about welding that will help me to enhance my skills that will strengthen my researches, also your methods of study will provide me with way to reach my goal, and through your labs I will be able to have a research based on practical trials not just words on papers.

I don't know if I will be totally affected by your society, but I will make sure to have the best habits in order to reflect them in my country.

From my academic records, I believe that I will be able to actualize such a research, despite the challenges that will face me to achieve it.
Ayman Hussien   
Aug 27, 2014
Undergraduate / "Tall Dreams, Short Arms" - QUESTBRIDGE Bio Essay [6]

the start of the letter is a bit strange as you describe your height and how people look at you.
actually if you are going to apply in some educating event, then you have to start with your education journey and how you are interested in learning and knowledge, because from your description, it seems that you will work as a model.

but the rest of the letter is good.
Ayman Hussien   
Aug 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / How important is to seek the opinions of others when making significant personal decisions ? [5]

I see that you concentrate more in the political view, and the american society. Actually the political decisions are made according to strategic plans that are made to achieve several goals (personal or not), and in most of time the decision is not personal.

the personal decision is when you decide to buy a new apartment ( as an example), you see the opinion of several people about the place, the price .. etc, and then you decide where will you get your apartment, because this is finally your own apartment that you will live in, no one will share it with you.

the assignment is well organised and written in a very arranged way.
I hope this will be useful to you.
Ayman Hussien   
Aug 30, 2014
Scholarship / 'I always used to be a curious person' - scholarship in manufacturing engineering; motivation letter [14]

As a matter of fact,I don't need to talk about my experience because I will send my CV with the letter, so must I rewrite my experiences in the motivation letter too?

Besides this motivation letter will be sent by e-mail directly to the country, so I think it will be just words filling in the letter.

please can i know the grammatical errors in the letter if this letter will be suitable?
Ayman Hussien   
May 27, 2015
Writing Feedback / Why do some students study abroad? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. [3]

The essay start is good but it needs more information, like:
-Most of graduate students who are preparing masters and PhDs nowadays are trying to make it at specific universities because of the good rating of the university, the special labs that can help him shorten the time of the thesis, and the environment of work, as he only focuses in his education.

-The ability of having a better job with a foreign degree.
-Enhancing the way of thinking as you can innovate new things easily.

=>those are some ideas that may improve your essay, see if they will help you. :)
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