Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by handsome78boy
Name: Mukhiddin Tojimirzaev
Joined: Aug 29, 2014
Last Post: Oct 12, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  
From: Uzbekistan
School: Math Specialized school

Displayed posts: 9
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handsome78boy   
Oct 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / Ielts: Parents should be more involved with their children's upbringing. [8]

Nowadays, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence.

Give your opinion.

In today's modern world, there are so many intractable problems related to family issues. Some parents are inclined to work full-time in order to provide their grown-ups with enough money, however bringing up a child doesn't actually require only financial assistance but also a long-term moral support. Many think that if both parents hold out a job, it may pose much more problems than it solves.

From the point of my view, if both of the parents work outside home there will not be any financial problem to foster a child. On the other hand, there will be limited contact which, I think, may lead to the deterioration of offspring's behavior. Because they will do anything they want owing to the lack of parenting attention. Hence, parents should be more involved with their children's upbringing.

On the contrary to what we have mentioned above, allocating much more time on parenting than on the career will also have a negative effect on the work-life balance. Because parents will become short of money to support their offspring and to live to the fullest. If worse comes to the worst, they might go into abject poverty which they will never be able to escape from. If married couples allocate time both for work and home, getting to grips with each other, it would be one of the good exemplary actions.

Based on the aforementioned statements, I can state that reconciling both parenting and working would be the best solution to tackle this problem. For instance, mother stays at home taking care of the child and the father will be a breadwinner of the family.
handsome78boy   
Oct 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / children's involvement in crime- ielts essay [7]

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that basic reason for this is that children these days aren't getting the social and emotion learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's modern world, there are so many intractable problems associated with the prevalence of crimes committed by the youth. Some scientists feel that the underlying reason behind this complicity is the lack of moral support from parents while some are at odds with this position claiming that there are other factors which urge the youngsters to conduct in a bellicose way.

It is reported by some authorities that the number of crimes committed by juvenile delinquents is on the increase. First of all, evident is the fact that the children who are not under the supervision of adults are more likely to commit a crime than any other people. Hence, parents, who are responsible for taking care of their child, are to blame for this inconvenience. Furthermore, if parents limited the youth's freedom to some extent, by lifting restrictions on decadent activities, children would never perform wrongdoing actions.

In addition, what motivates the teenagers to behave maliciously are the fictional characters shown on films being produced on a large-scale. Watching the barbaric actions performed by actors, the youngsters' behavior will, of course, deteriorate spontaneously. Naturally, dealing with the companies that produce these kinds of films is the remit of the government rather than the individuals. Thus, I believe that the government is also responsible for children's involvement in crime.

By way of conclusion, I firmly believe that the basic reason for aforementioned issues is the lack of long-term moral support and the absence of parents in growing up a child
handsome78boy   
Oct 10, 2014
Writing Feedback / children's involvement in crime- ielts essay [7]

Thank you for your comment... but, In the "agree/disagree" essays, the opinion of the writer is not given in the introductry part of the essay!!!!! regarding the word "scientists" the word scientist is a common word for all researchers whether they are psychologists, doctors or someone else.
handsome78boy   
Oct 12, 2014
Writing Feedback / children's involvement in crime- ielts essay [7]

Dude, it is not an opinion or solution essay to give to do like that!!!! in the agree/disagree opinion, writer's opinion is not given

I think you should enhance the introduction, since it contains only 2 sentences. Try set it up to 3 sentences at least.- the main reason is to give a brief information what the topic is gonna be... not to write 3 sentences.... 2 sentences are enough if it is coherent
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