Undergraduate /
"It's rare for someone so young to contract shingles, but it's still possible" - I stuck in there... [14]
Here is the updated version. The beginning remains basically the same, with edits appearing in the second half. Still can't exactly tell how well I did, but I attempted to paint a picture of my situation and how I reacted and changed instead of simply telling. Unfortunately, now the essay is 15 words over the limit...Over two hundred people clustered together into an auditorium sat squinting up onto the stage illuminated by glaring fluorescent lights. On the stage, the intensity was equally blinding; and yet, nobody, neither those on nor off the stage, could hide their smiles of excitement. On the stage, clad in a suit with a lapel pin of the star, the symbol of the Vice President, affixed on my breast, I was no exception. It was opening ceremony of the 2014 State Conference of the Technology Student Association, and with the crowd that had gathered, it was strange to think that as early as the beginning of the year, almost nothing had existed.
The Technology Student Association (TSA), a club dedicated to nurturing the sciences and technologies through competitive events, began in Maryland with the whim of two teachers from separate schools, who had both experienced the club in another state in their childhood. With its recent founding and nonexistent funding, however, there was little that could be done.
"How about you run for officer?" the club advisor asked one day. "Think about it; immortalized forever as a member of the first-ever MDTSA officer team!" he joked.
"Uh.."
I found his humor lacking. Public speaking and organizations had never been my forte, and I was reluctant to take part in what used these skills extensively. What good could I really do? But the club had become a large part of my extracurricular life, and I felt sense of obligation. At least, I could say I tried. "..Sure. Why not?" I answered, expecting little.
I got elected. As Vice President.
The next few months put me into positions that I would never have subjected myself to otherwise. As it turned out, the TSA Vice President was in charge of membership and recruitment, which translated to endless lists to be organized and countless meetings to instigate. Suddenly, I was forced to bear the mantle of an unshakable leader.
But with every meeting to convince other schools into creating a chapter., my palms grew sweaty and my mouth dry. Rows of teachers and administrators sat across from me, impassionate eyes focused on handed-out pamphlets and on me. I coughed nervously and offered a tremulous smile, but only the occasional face returned it. The gravity of my situation came crashing down on me, and I realized that my words could pave the way to TSA's growth, or cut its roots before it could even begin. I was woefully inadequate, but with no option left to me, I cleared my throat and began to speak. At the very least, I decided, I will try.
And each time I threw caution to the winds and simply tried to project my message, regardless of the consequences, words came out smoother. Failure was no longer a sentence of damnation, but a step to success, and each new chapter formed served as proof. Meetings and communication among teachers then became less an obstacle to struggle over and more an opportunity to spread something I loved, the thrill of seeing my passion for Biology and Physics mirrored in those I compete with or the camaraderie formed between partners during team events, to others. Public speaking would never become something easy, I knew, but given a proper purpose and an outlet, it became that much more bearable.
The end of the day found me walking the halls of the now-empty high school that had hosted the State Conference. The beginning of the year had ended much differently than anticipated. A small club was well on its way into spreading across Maryland, and I had learned to forfeit any apprehensions, and dive in headfirst. The unsure apprehensive person that had unknowingly fallen into the role of Vice President no longer existed. Instead, someone who had grown to fit the role, someone who could take pride in his actions, and confidence in both success and defeat had taken his place. Someone who was glad he, given the chance, had tried.
As always, I really appreciate your help. Please feel free to give me an honest opinion.