Writing Feedback / It is not easy to describe what happiness is. IELTS essay topic. [3]

Happiness is considered important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important for achieving happiness?

Happiness is undoubtedly a pivotal aspect of human life, whilst, human beings have to struggle with the difficulty of achieving(attaining) it. Indeed, happiness is a very abstract notion(concept). This essay will first provide a rational explanation for why happiness is very difficult to define and then list several elements which are essential for being happy./55 words intro/

There is perhaps certain reason why happiness is difficult to define. Not surprisingly, it can be claimed that since different people with different outlooks have dissimilar understanding of what happiness is, its definition may vary from person to person. A businessman may consider a prosperous business as happiness, whereas, a blinded person can be delighted if he is able to see, for example. Definition of heppiness therefore remains a challenging issue. /71 words body1/

It is true that there are a number of factors that play a crucial role for achieving happiness. One important element is living in a peaceful and affluent country where you can have a high quality life. In fact, happiness rates tend to be higher in developed nations than in worse-off ones. Another influential factor is presumably a successful career with a well-paid position. There is no doubt that a good job helps a person find his place in society, meanwhile, an acceptable salary means that you can own a good accommodation and/or a prestigious automobile.

Albeit such factors as thriving career, living in a rich region and high living standards determine happiness, it still remains an indefinite term.

around 250 words

Writing Feedback / IELTS - the number of young people perpetrating a crime has risen significantly. [5]

The sharp increase of juvenile delinquentcy has been happened due to several causes

In my view your conclusion is too long. I think that you should try to keep it shorter. Perhaps Around 30-40 words is enough to keep it concise

But overall it's very good essay

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 - Personal saving as a percentage of personal income [3]

A closer look at the data reveals that in 1990, Italy was still the leading country, though its saving rate had declined to 17.6%, whereas in Canada, the saving rate had almost doubled to 11.5 and Germany was stabled with 13.6%.

By 2000, only three countries; France, Japan and UK had rissenfrom previous year. Morover, France and Japan were at same level led with 13.6%. Personal saving in Canada dropped dramatically to 1.9% and It was the lowest saving rate. Germany and USA remained decreasing, and showed11,8% and 4.0% respectivelly.

I suppose u use the phrasesaving rate too much. Sometimes say 《the percentage 》 or 《the proportion of saved money/earnings.

But overall u did a good job.
Very best of luck to u.

Writing Feedback / Do you believe that elderly people used to live in a better world? IELTS-task2 [3]

Excellent essay. But i suppose your essay is very long, especially conclusion is too long. So, next time try not to write so many words. I think 250-280 is enough. Good luck.