Undergraduate / Intramurals. Amateur Astronomers Association. Theater. The question is, what can't NYU offer me? [3]

Hi, Guys. I would really appreciate some feedback on my NYU supplemental essay. Please be brutally honest, as I want to make sure the essay is as close to perfection as possible. The prompt is:

NYU is global, urban, inspired, smart, connected, and bold. What can NYU offer you, and what can you offer NYU? (200-400 words)

He looked at me, completely bemused, when I could not tell him what my permanent home address was. I could not blame him for his reaction. Every kid knew his or her address. Truth is, I simply did not know. This particular event took place when I was in the fourth grade, and by then, I had already been to five schools in different parts of the world. I have already had more addresses than some people do in their lifetime. Yet, none of them could be considered permanent.

Up until the age of twelve when my father decided to settle down so I can complete my secondary years in one school, I had travelled all over the world. I have been exposed to several different cultures and have met people from all corners of the globe. This exposure has allowed me to broaden my mind and has allowed me to respect beliefs and other ways of life.

NYU's mission statement states that NYU wants "to promote... ...an inclusive and diverse community." I believe that I will be able to add to this diverse community and provide another fresh set of lens to view the world with. By travelling the world, I have become open-minded, and I believe I can be a positive addition to NYU's diverse cultures.

Intramurals. Amateur Astronomers Association. Theater. The question is, what can't NYU offer me? In my eyes, NYU offers a unique university lifestyle in an urban setting - something that I yearn. NYU's setting has allowed for a diverse student body to be formed. This is something I can consider a privilege to be a part of. From Greek life to varsity fencing to Tisch film courses. Students in NYU are exposed to an infinite amount of opportunities both academically and socially.

NYU encourages individuality through its Liberal Studies Program and Gallatin School of Individualized Study. Infused with global focus and a multicultural understanding, these programs can offer a student to develop skills for success in today's interconnected world. These programs of study truly makes NYU a unique place for academics and it produces holistic learners - something I aspire to be.

To sum up, NYU will offer me an unrivalled education, it will offer me a chance to interact with people of diverse cultures, and it will open the doors to a brighter future.

Undergraduate / "He who stays near vermilion gets stained red; he who stays near ink gets stained black" - My Story [5]

Hi, guys. I would really appreciate some feedback on my Common App essay. Please be brutally honest, as I would like to make a great impression with the essay.

Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

As the Chinese saying goes, "he who stays near vermilion gets stained red; he who stays near ink gets stained black." If one were to take that literally, I would practically be a rainbow. It is said that the environment that one grows up in plays an integral role in shaping a person. However, for me, it is quite different. For the first twelve years of my life, remembering my home address was troublesome business; I lacked a permanent address moving from Sudan to Sri Lanka to Sierra Leone. In my head, telephone numbers, street names, roads and zip codes blended into a mishmash of numbers and names.

There I was; sitting on my bed playing FIFA 2002, completely oblivious to the fact that the course of my life was about to change. Suddenly, I heard my door creak open. It was my father.

"I was offered a job in Sudan," he said.
"What is that?" I replied, bewildered.
"It's a country," he told me. "We will be moving there soon."

Everything went by very fast the next few months, and, soon, I found myself in a completely different world. The people were different; the food was different and even the trees were different!

I still remember. The house was painted a warm shade of yellow. Everything felt welcoming - starting from the gleaming wooden floors covered in throw rugs, to the pale blue curtains, to the windows that revealed a garden. Neem leaves had started to fall, covering the pathway in a green carpet that softly crunched underfoot. Looking back at what was my first memory of Sudan, I now realize that this marked the beginning of a story; one that has shaped me into who I am today.

Camel-riding in the Sahara desert, hiking in the tropical jungles of Sri Lanka, sunbathing in the beaches of Sierra Leone - all became familiar experiences in the course of my travels. I have met people of more than a hundred nationalities and experienced things that I never would have. My world of travelling has allowed me to leave me comfort zone. I am more willing to take risks that I would never have. Facing countless challenges, such as not being able to speak English at first, has allowed me to overcome fear and prejudice. By being exposed to so many cultures and customs, I have developed a respect for the beliefs and others' way of life. To sum up, I have become open minded and less insular; qualities I am proud to possess.

As good as it may sound, constantly relocating does have its disadvantages. One of them being the fact that I have not had the chance to maintain any long lasting relationships with people. However, constantly having to make new friends has made me an adaptable person. I am able to fare with any situation quite well, and I feel that this is an important life skill to have.

Each of us has a story that shapes our identity. And, I am eternally grateful for mine, for it has inspired me to delve into my dreams and aspirations. Because of this exposure, I have been able to look at my world through a different set of lens and redefine myself and my perspective of the world. Experiencing a taste of so many cultures and so many environments has made me open-minded and has inspired me to travel the world. I want to finish what my father started.