Scholarship / I would not be at this level in my education without my Parents' support. Government scholarship. [2]

Hello , I made a few corrections, hope it helps you!

However, I would not be at this level in my education without my Parents' support., W without my Father's emotional and economic assistance and my Mother's un-weaving love and passion, .

...Junior and again Senior Prefect, a positions that I valued for the opportunities and learning experiences it offered in terms of being a responsible leader while also helping and motivating other students. Secondary education was therefore an enjoyable experience for me, especially my Advanced Level Classes, in which I was fortunate to have caring and inspirational teachers. This love of studying led to me shineexcel in my extra-curricular activities as well, such as electingbeing elected for several considerable posts in school societies etc.

.Me as the eldest daughter of the family I needed to take care of them. Sometimes I thought about giving up my studies. At those times it occurred to me that it was very important to make my parents proud by continuing my education, even if it required a longer timeperiod .

I do not in any way regret my investment in my education, in the long run it will be beneficial to me regardless of its monetary costs or gains. Many of my friends ended up dropping out of the degree.

I'd like to embark upon an educational journey to beautiful South Korea, one of the "Four Tigers of East Asia." According to what I've encountered on the Internet, itsthe academic environment is highly competitive while its people are very serious about their studies. Korea's information and communication technology is considered to be one of the best worldwide. It is especially notable for expertise in IT and Robotics and seems therefore a suitable direction to achieve my long-timeterm academic and professional goals. (I suggest you to add a couple of sentences to this paragraph, you should let know the reader that you have done some research and have information about this programme. )

I have faced many challenges, balancing work and school, and I have willingly given my time. My goal is to become aan expert in IT so that I can perform tasks that clients cannot do for themselves. (Try to elaborate more on your goals and what you want to achieve after finishing your studies,mention a few goals, how will this scholarship help you achieve your goals?) I know that when I reach my goals, I will be able to provide something meaningful to all of the society including my mother land, Sri Lanka as well as Korea. Korean Government Scholarship Program and grants will assist in achieving my goals through supporting expenses from airfare to dissertation printing cost, and this would be something even unimaginable. ....

I think you are on the right track, however as these type of scholarship applications are quite competitive so you should put an emphasis on your capabilities and skills. They should decide based on this letter and other documents decide why they should choose you instead of other applicants .

Good luck with your application!

Undergraduate / Essay : an incident or set of incidents in your life that had the most profound influence on you ! [5]

Hello , I tried to modify your essay in order to fit with the limit of 300 words. I removed the sentences without changing the overall structure and meaning of the essay. Hope I helped you!

Essay :
The world I lived in was a stress free world. Life was beautiful for me, until a tragedy struck my family.

Writing Feedback / 'fresh ideas of creating new successful starts-up' - should we follow customs of a visited country? [3]

Hello I made a few suggestions for improvement. Hope it helps you :)

Nowadays people have a lot of varieties for going out to visit another country without any obstructions. Due to travelling a person may broaden the mind meeting with local inhabitants and observing customs and style of life.One of the benefits of travelling is that a person can broaden his mind through spending time with local inhabitants and observing their customs and style of life. Nevertheless, dynamic movement over the world ishas led to heated discussions between the people who assert that the visitors should not impose their customs on the locals and people, who consider that the host country should become assimilated. However, in this essay I amwill trying to discuss about both sides of the issues.

First of all, some visitors who come from highly industrialisedindustrialized countries to underdeveloped ones may bring fresh ideas of creating new succsessful successful starts-ups .
Moreover, the visitors may help the locals to extend their knowledge in different spheres and exchange their experience. A local inhabitant does not need to go to a far-away from his country and at the same time a visitor may have a rest and have the chance to tell about inovationsinnovationsofin his home country.

Also the visitors as the representatives of particular culture may describe the locals as the most outstanding places and peculiarities of living at their country. (Not clear what you are trying to say in this sentence, try rephrasing it.)

So people may travel around the world without leaving the house.
In spite of all positive points, there are some drawbacks which visitors may bring with them. Firstly, some people don't make any effort to understand the locals, their habits and customs. ItThis may lead to arguments and fights and as a result the level of crime would bemay rise.

In addition, some people try to rebuild the country or a place on the model of their own country. They impose rules and their thoughts on others without taking into account the fact, that not each everyone has the same beliefs.

All things considered, it can be concluded that a host country has more beneficial effects than disadvantages of coming visitors. Interaction between people from different countries may promote the development of a nation and become a provider of recentinnovative ideas.

Undergraduate / Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park experience - Applying for Japanese Studies and Sociology [4]

Hello , I think your essay is interesting, clear and well written.

My only suggestion would be that you add a couple of sentences in the last paragraph that will show in which way this experience is relevant to the course you are applying for.

In case it is too long you could remove some details from your experience in Hiroshima.

Good luck !

Scholarship / I saw various doctors in the news coverage of the conflicts in Europe and Middle East [5]

My suggestion would be that you include a few sentences in the first paragraph that describe your connection with the science of medicine.
Are you willing to pursue a career in medicine only for the betterment of society? Of course this is a good reason, however the reader would like to know why you think you would be successful in this field.

Lets say : Since primary school I had a great interest in biology and chemistry... I participated at the biology competition in high school...
Or anything else that would add value to your curriculum as a candidate to this college.

UTMB is Texas's first medical in Texas and I am definite that no other program can provide a better support in preparing for medical school.

At the last paragraph you can mention what information you have acquired about this program of studies, ex. how it is structured, what are the main courses. I think this will help you in your application because it shows that you have done your research, analysed it carefully and it fits your needs.

Good luck!

Essays / FAMU College Entrance Essay about myself and my future contribution to the school community [4]

I agree with Ishikawa, think of your experiences in the past and get some information about the University community. How the two of them combine together? Will you find yourself being part of a club?

Lets say you just finished high school, and in high school you were one of the students who was organizing events to bring people together. Will you try to do that also at the university?

From my personal experience, apart from the education you get at a university , you also make friendships that may last for life. The network you create during your studies may become really important when you start working. Universities know the importance of networking, that's why they want their students to exchange knowledge and information between them.

Hope I have helped you !
Good luck!

Writing Feedback / People's life would be completely different without Internet; IELTS essay [5]

Hello , made a few suggestions for improvement. Hope it helps you.
Good luck !

In the last three decades, one of the most important inventions havingthat has changed people's lives is the Internet. This has brought many alterations in the world these days. I agree with thisthe opinion above since the Internet has helped people to doperform many activities in a quicker and more effective way . This great invention, however, has caused dire effects as well such as dangerous websites, unreliable information an unhealthy lifestyle.

It is true that the emergenceinvention of the Internet, perhaps the most crucial technological innovation over the recent years, has made the way people live radically different and extremely easy. For example, when people want to communicate with their colleagues and families, they do not need to spend much time goingvisiting them to their home. By accessing an email or other forms of social medianetworking site forin a moment, they enable to contact with them. Hence, it is evident that people are more likely to have more free time, and they can do other activities as this invention has supported them to have an effortless way in the term of communication.

Apart from these benefits, the Internet sometimes has brought problems to society to obtain problems . Firstly, a lot of research points out there are some dangerous websites people do not realize. For instance, the Internet provides a large amount of information, but this technology is unable to control the users, neither children nor adults. Consequently, such pornography sites or other links offering severe knowledge can be opened simply by many aperson . Furthermore, with this similar method, people surf many sites which are occasionally unreliable. As a result, this often happens where people in this era get confused even if thein the reliability of published data is true . In addition, people'stothese days tend to do their jobs in front of computers or smart phones. This habit has led them to have a sedentary lifestyle which is unhealthy as they lack to do physical activities.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the Internet as one of the most notable innovations in the modern era has shifted the way people live. While it has supported people to communicate easily so that they have more leisure time and canthe opportunity to do other jobs, the Internet has influenced people to browse unsafe sites, weak information or an unhealthy living. Ultimately, it is imperative that the Internet users should consider and ensure about the webs they access even if it is safe and reliable, likewise they are suggested to take exercise regularly to keep fit.

Writing Feedback / Comparison of the changes of three main exports in Southland - IELTS [3]

A few suggestions for improvement below.

Exports of International tourism and dairy products experience a rise in 2015 compared in 2000. By 2000, the amount of international tourism stood at roughly £8 billion, while the level of exports of dairy products was approximately £7 billion. Furthermore, with a rise of nearly £1 billion, the total exports of international tourism increases to about £9 billion, whereas a dramatic rise is recorded in the exports of dairy products, around £10 billion in 2015. However, meat products exports have decreased from £6 billion to £5.5 billion during these 15 years.

On the other hand, a decrease will be witnessed in dairy products and meat products exports, while international tourism will experience an increase in 2025. The year will record a decrease of around £0.5 billion of dairy products (£9.5 billion) and meat products exports(£5 billion). By far, one of the highest amounts of main exports will be experienced by international tourism (roughly £10 billion).

Research Papers / RESEARCH TOPICS IN ISLAMIC BANKING, FINANCE, INSURANCE,ECONOMICS. [3]

Hello , my suggestions below.

I understand you have quite some knowledge about Islamic Commercial Laws, I think it would be interesting to conduct a research on How International companies in your country adapt with the Islamic Commercial laws. What are the challenges they face, are they likely to succeed, do they need to change their company policies etc. As a case study would be best to find an existing company .

Another topic would be the case when a company from your country decides to open a subsidiary in a country which adheres to laws different from your country. The company would face the same problems as above.

You could also try to compare Islamic commercial laws with western countries commercial laws in different circumstances. How they adapt to the nowadays global economy?