dveri
Oct 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay: how access to information via the internet influences life [6]
Hello! Could you please evaluate my essay? I'm prepating for TOEFL and this is the first essay I've written. I'm worried that it's too short (275 words and I barely was able to finish it in 20-25 minutes) and the language is too primitive for a good score. Could you give me some tips for improving my writing? I need at least 72-95 points for the test overall.
Topic:
The widespread use of the internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world?
Essay:
Nowadays thanks to the internet many people have quick access to any kind of information on a diversified range of topics. In my opinion, it influences our lives in a positive way. In the following paragraphs I'll try to explain the reasons for my point of view.
First of all, the internet creates more opportunities for education. For example, young people who live in small towns don't always have the means to go to university. With the internet they can get a diploma in a wide range of topics by doing a distance-learning course in the best universities. Besides, there are many websites such as Coursera or Khan Academy which let you educate yourself on various topics. Moreover, there are millions of websites concerned with specific hobbies, no matter how obscure they might be. So if you have a very specific interest, thanks to the internet you can quickly find people who think alike and learn everything about it together.
Secondly, the amount of information sources provided by internet make it easier for people to uncover the truth about current events. These days when something happens in the world, you can quickly research media coverage of this event as well as find out what other people think about it. There are also websites such as stopfake.net whose aim is to separate truth from rumors and lies.
In summary, I believe that easy access to information provided by the internet influences our live in a positive way. It helps people to educate themselves and encourages them to think critically.
Hello! Could you please evaluate my essay? I'm prepating for TOEFL and this is the first essay I've written. I'm worried that it's too short (275 words and I barely was able to finish it in 20-25 minutes) and the language is too primitive for a good score. Could you give me some tips for improving my writing? I need at least 72-95 points for the test overall.
Topic:
The widespread use of the internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world?
Essay:
Nowadays thanks to the internet many people have quick access to any kind of information on a diversified range of topics. In my opinion, it influences our lives in a positive way. In the following paragraphs I'll try to explain the reasons for my point of view.
First of all, the internet creates more opportunities for education. For example, young people who live in small towns don't always have the means to go to university. With the internet they can get a diploma in a wide range of topics by doing a distance-learning course in the best universities. Besides, there are many websites such as Coursera or Khan Academy which let you educate yourself on various topics. Moreover, there are millions of websites concerned with specific hobbies, no matter how obscure they might be. So if you have a very specific interest, thanks to the internet you can quickly find people who think alike and learn everything about it together.
Secondly, the amount of information sources provided by internet make it easier for people to uncover the truth about current events. These days when something happens in the world, you can quickly research media coverage of this event as well as find out what other people think about it. There are also websites such as stopfake.net whose aim is to separate truth from rumors and lies.
In summary, I believe that easy access to information provided by the internet influences our live in a positive way. It helps people to educate themselves and encourages them to think critically.