Writing Feedback / Essay about young adults wanting independence and living alone or with their parents [3]

Hi everyone!
I am writing an essay on : Some young adults want independence from their parents asap. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Could you please give me comments on how shall i improve this writeup and how shall i form sentences so that it looks better. Thanks

The definition of independence varies from person to person. Every individual has their own definition of independence. Independence could be something just in your thoughts, or in you opinion, your views, or the way you are living or with whom you are living. Now a days ,some of the individuals want to leave their parents house as early as possible while others prefer to live with them for longer. I have a mixed opinion on this. In order to support my answer please read below.

Adolescence is a stage where a person wants to take their own decisions. At this stage of life, they think are more mature and can take their own decisions and in some cases they don't like their parents advice on their personal and career decisions and their day to day activities. In such cases most of the children starts living independently, leaving their parents home.

In my view, if a young adult is mature enough to take his decisions and can take care of himself then its good to live alone. As when you are living also, you start learning how to manage a home, how to manage your finances and how to take care of other things in life for which you were dependent on your parents earlier. So living independently, make them more mature and self dependent.

In contrast to above statement, when living away from their families, sometimes the individuals go on a wrong path. They start taking part in unusual activities sometimes by influence of their friends or society or sometimes through social media or other groups. So, in such cases if they were living with parents , then family can constantly monitor them for such things and can stop them from going into wrong direction or path. Moreover living with parents has its own benefits. Parents give you both mental and financial support in you daily activities. Moreover you learn to live with each others difference and you learn to respect the family. On top of that, no love in this world can be above parents love. They give you their time and energy and everything without hidden motives.

So in conclusion, if you are mature enough to take care of yourself independently, without involving in any wrong activities then live independently but don't forget to visit/ call your parents.

Writing Feedback / "The Real World" - Essay - agree or disagree whether parents are the best teachers or not [4]

The first teacher we have in our lives in most cases are our parents. They teach us to walk, to speak, to eat and to have good manners before we go out to "The Real World".

They are involved in the development and education of a children more than a professional teacher.

During the initial stage of life when a children is born, parents are the first person whom they have to interact. Parents are very committed for the growth of their children.

They give most of their time and energy for the children to make them learn new things. They play with their children, teach them netiquettes and manners and how to interact with the society.Parents always try to give them the right knowledge and in right direction. Even before a child interacts with professional teacher in school, parents teach them a lot of things with the full dedication and commitment, giving them proper time, which a professional teacher cannot give.

During second stage of child development, adolescence, parents are still give their best advice, but children may not accept it. Adolescents are notoriously rebellious in many cases and they may automatically reject their parents advice. At this stage of life, children's friends are their best teachers. They can quickly follow their friend's advice rather than their parents advice which in some cases can even be same. So , at this stage of life parents should give their children some space and they also need to be very patient.

On the other hand,I would say that parents are not professional teachers and they tend to be very biased by their love of their children. So, wishing easy life and good things can prevent their children from maturation. Also, parents can just provide single viewpoint of the world, while good teaching should be based on different attitudes. Also with time, parents become little conservative and children needs to be

So in conclusion, while parents are not the ideal teachers and a well-rounded children need great diversity of teachers in their lives, in order to have a accurate viewpoint of the world, parents are generally the most committed of all the teachers and have the greatest emotional investment in their children and their future.

Writing Feedback / "Old is gold" - an old friend is definitely more important in life than a new friend [3]

Hi everyone, could you please help me in improving this essay and also how to better write opening and closing sentence?

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.

Friends are the most important part of your life and most precious gift of god. We spend most of our time with our friends.Friendship is one relation on earth, which you choose by yourself as compared to other relations(like parents, siblings, etc) which are given to you by god. It has also been scientifically proven that, if you are friends with someone for more than 6 years, you are friends for life.I strongly believe that it's important to keep old friends as compared to making new friends for following reasons.

First of all, trust between two people is build over a period of time and therefore trust between two old friends is more strong as compared to new friends. So, it's easy to share your feelings and problems to a person whom you trust more. For example, in my case whenever I am despondent and unhappy, I share my problems with my old friend because I know she understand me and she can give me right advise to come out of that situation.I trust her and know that she will never tell my personal things to someone else. But it's difficult to open up on your problems and personal matters with a new friend.

In addition to that, old friends know your strengths and weaknesses very well. They can always guide you in right direction.They understand how and in which situation you can perform better, things you are more comfortable with. While on other hand, it takes time to know likes and dislikes in a newly develop friendship.For instance, When I was on deciding mode of my career, I was not sure which stream should I choose. That time quite a old friend of mine suggested that you should go for engineering as you have good acumen and strong problem solving skills. I followed her advice, and now I am an engineer. I always thank that friend to show me the right direction.

In conclusion, an old friend is definitely more important in life than a new friend. As the old adage "old is gold", we should also cherish our old friends.