Posts by devi27

devi27

May 18, 2016

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2 [Problem-Solving] : More working families these days are in favor of fast food [5]

Hi needless to say, introductory paragraph is the most essential part in essay writing task two as this will briefly describes what you are going to explain in the following paragraph. Therefore, I highly recommend you to more pay attention to this case. Here i rewrite your introduction.

Consuming fast food has become more popular among citizens these days. Due to the restricted time people have, they are forced to favor such food to be consumed by their youngsters. This obviously to leads to weight-related disease suffered by children and the viable solution to dealt with this pressing issues is the government encouragement in societies to prefer a home-prepared meal in their daily lives .

~~Fast food consumption become popular [...] home-made food is the key to solve this case.~~

devi27

May 18, 2016

Writing Feedback / Sensitive issue of smoking bans - smoker and non-smoker have strong argument about their rights. [4]

Hai Marsudi,,to understand what prompt instructed in your essay well, I strongly suggest you to address the question in the same time as you upload your answer. After reading your essay, i tend to claim that you seem confused to explain your idea which can be implied by a wrong thesis statement. Here I give you an example I make with restricted time.

While prohibiting smokers in public area will prevent other societies from being suffered of smoke-related disease, I would argue that smoker should not be officially instructed to keep away from the place crowded by citizens as this is against human right.

~~The issue of smoking bans become sensitive [...] it can make their labors become unemployment.~~

devi27

May 19, 2016

Writing Feedback / PROBLEM RELATED TO SMOKING AND A WAY TO OVERCOME - IELTS TASK 2 [3]

More working families these days are in favor of fast food to be consumed by their children. What problem will be resulted from this phenomenon and what solution you give to overcome this case.

Recent decades, life style force family to provide fast food for their children because parents are more spending time on working all day. This phenomenon give negative impact for children health. Several alternatives can be implemented to cope with this problem such as cooking with simply recipe and buying effectively kitchen appliances.

Eating fast food will be impact for children health because children not receive many good nutrient for their body whereas they still growth period. For example bread, mayonnaise, fried potatoes and fried chiken contain more fat rather than other nutrient such as protein and vitamin because of that children at risk obesity. Furthermore junk food contains chemical ingredients activating cancer disease. For instance tomato sauce, chili sauce and mayonnaise are from food industry.

This is a reason why working parents should cook by themselves for their children. Many popular chef give simply recipe in their publishing book or we can search in internet. More over many brands offer kitchen appliances. Innovation and creation from expert to make kitchen appliances. For example There are some kinds of knife with different size and function to make our cook activity easier and faster.

All in all, fast food is not good for parents and children health. Parents has consider to cook by themselves, nevertheless their busy all day. Because of cooking activities today can be easily, fun and faster eith recipe from popular chef and innovation from kitchen appliances