More working families these days are in favor of fast food to be consumed by their children. What problem will be resulted from this phenomenon and what solution you give to overcome this case?
Fast food consumption become popular to urband citizens as it is instant to ate and they have not more time to cook. Children who often consume fast food will get obese and home-made food is the key to solve this case.
It is argued that fast food makes several unwanted effect alike obese. Obese known as overweight is the appearance of unhealthy condition due to over consume and little exercise. This phenomena occurs in urban area, for urban societies have big consume, but they do not consider with their activity. For example, In the United States of America, approximately 50% people are obese, and it happen in the developed city, like New York and Los Angeles. Therefore, instant food is not healthy for people in all age especially for children.
Societies might be consider to use obselete way to crush this problem. Home-made food are healthier than fast food, because the ingredient that we use and the way of cooking are controlable. For instance, busy parents can employe a housekeeper to make their family food. Thus they can complete they work without avoiding their child. In brief, home-made food can guarante the quality of food to prevent negative effect of fast food.
In conclusion, fast food that consumed by children due to busy activity of their parents lead increase the number of obese as unhealthy condition and home-made food can be the great way to solve this issue. Therefore, public education is important to make people more care about their life.
I corrected a few phrases/sentences in the text so that it sounds better:
Fast [...] food consumption became widespread among urbanites because it allows them to save time on cooking.
Children [...] are likely to grow obese, if on the fast-food diet, and [...] home-made food is...
food [...] has a strong negative effect on people, in the sense of causing them to gain some excessive weight.
Obese [...] people are known for their unhealthy love of fast food and for their inability to lead a healthy lifestyle.
This [...] phenomenon is usually associated with the realities of an urban living, as such that imply that the affiliated individuals are constantly in a hurry.
Therefore [...] people should think twice before deciding to switch to eating fast food.
Societies [...] There are a few ways for the society to address the issue.
Home-made [...] food is much healthier, as compared to fast food because we know what account for the ingredients of the former.
Thus [...] they have plenty of time to work and to take care of their children.
In brief [...] There are indeed a number of reasons to prefer home-made food over fast food.
In conclusion [...] children should be discouraged from eating fast food, as the source of many health problems.
more care [...] more caring...
Hi Ramdani, before anything else, I would like to WELCOME you to the Essay Forum Family, we hope to provide with the most relevant and accurate feedback to your analysis, essays and general writing projects.
This website is aimed at providing you with support and useful tips on how to better exercise the English language.
Now, as I read through your essay, I notice that the words you associate to your essay is somehow, not corresponding to the idea that you would like your readers to understand.Well, this is absolutely fine as you are still practicing and you have taken the first step to write this essay, this only means that you want to get better and you have the courage to tackle the task.
To better understand what I mean, here's some suggestions below;
- beca me popular
to urbandwith urban citizens
- as it is instant to
have not moredon't have time to cook.
There you have Ramdani, I hope the insight I shared means to you, I wish to help you further with the other paragraphs, however, I want to show you first how it's done thats why I just corrected the first one.
I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Welcome to the club, I corrected some grammatical error.
is was argued that fast food makes several unwanted [...]
Obese known as overweight is the
appearance appearances [...]
[...] to over consumes and little exercises
Sorry if I made mistakes correction, lets practice together.
Hi needless to say, introductory paragraph is the most essential part in essay writing task two as this will briefly describes what you are going to explain in the following paragraph. Therefore, I highly recommend you to more pay attention to this case. Here i rewrite your introduction.
Consuming fast food has become more popular among citizens these days. Due to the restricted time people have, they are forced to favor such food to be consumed by their youngsters. This obviously to leads to weight-related disease suffered by children and the viable solution to dealt with this pressing issues is the government encouragement in societies to prefer a home-prepared meal in their daily lives .
Fast food consumption become popular [...] home-made food is the key to solve this case.