Undergraduate / RICE ESSAY: Diversity & How Life is Like a Pond [4]

Impressive work I must say. Just once I felt the need for a slight change where you mentioned about your life in China. You, maybe unknowingly, are presenting the country in an unlikable manner such as: " ..living on another planet, where voiceless students travel.. ". It gives the idea that you didn't like living there and so didn't try to adjust to that culture.

Otherwise I like your essay.

Undergraduate / Untitled - My Common App - Not one talent, background, or identity defines me. [4]

Your essay brings out some great aspects of your personality. What I feel is that you could also explain about how you play your part for each of the titles that you have described after how you earned it, especially in the first an the last paragraph. Otherwise I find your essay nice.

Undergraduate / Things I've done during my gap year - working in the paints store [6]

Your essay is nicely knit. There are just some sentences that I feel you should edit. They are either grammatically incorrect or could be presented in a better form. Some examples being:

The decease (...) affected my family and our economic situation changed drastically. My father [...] in my uncle's paints business.

You can change it to: My grandfather's business closed after his death and my dad who used to work there had to shift to my uncle's paint business. It drastically deteriorated our economic condition.

Further: ...online courses like 18.01SC of Single Variable Calculus and 18.05 Introduction to Probabilty and Statistics... You should avoid using such specific technical names as the readers might not be knowing about them. Instead you may provide the names of sources of these courses (like EdX, MIT Courseware etc.).

You should also work on grammatically improving your last paragraph. Also, edit it to present you in a more promising way.