Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by benz
Joined: Aug 24, 2009
Last Post: Sep 2, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 9  
From: Thailand

Displayed posts: 11
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benz   
Sep 2, 2009
Undergraduate / "my laugh" - UCF application essay - first draft [14]

heyy.. im not sure if you have rewritten your essay but i think your introduction is as everybody said very strong and really interested me to read on...

so..just have to make the as the introduction, it mite be hard to do but im sure you can...

=)
benz   
Sep 1, 2009
Undergraduate / PRATT INSTITUTE ESSAY (why do you want to attend) [8]

the essay asked why do you want to attend to Pratt and what do you hope to accomplish with your education?
there are no limits in words for this essay...

i am quite a weak writer especially with all the grammars...and im not sure if this essay needs more adding or cutting so please help me make this essay perfect coz i really want to attend here!

here is my essay:

It has all started because of my interest that matches so well in every factor Pratt institute has provided with, in which it is hard to....?(couldn't find strong word)

I have always known myself as being an artistic since I first took art class in primary school. I remembered the time in class, the time of enjoyment, excitement and happiness that I am able to draw and color. As I grow, the love of art has increased even further; I like the moment in which I can just express ideas and creativity with no limits since there are no right or wrong answers to art. I have begun to learn in more details on architecture when I got given this theme in GCSE. I spent lots of time doing researches, seeing many different buildings both from real life and internet, and have done a whole sketch books on it without a drop of sweat; it was great fun and I become devoted to it. However, just as much I have passion for art as well as math. I like math because of the amount of challenges it can offer one with and it never bore one. I never seen myself as a mathematician but I do keen on solving problems and like to take the challenge; this is when I started to realized that art and architecture is the field I would be willing to pursue my education and being dedicated to.

During the process of researching for college, I was first explored more of UK's universities of art and architecture but I feel as if it wasn't really for me with the campus and the curriculum. Therefore, I started to explore USA's universities and found Pratt. I was convinced to Pratt when I read the details, the curriculum that covers varieties of units such as the history and theory, the environment to planning, design and construction. In addition to all, I was influenced when I first visited the campuses during my summer holidays. I was impressed with the peacefulness of the campuses and the location of the institution itself, located in New York. I strongly believed that the location is as essential as choosing the major. I found New York City as the centre of place where all spectacular architectures has gathered in which benefits me; it is an energetic city with ranges of cultures and full of fascinated historical background for buildings, including Brooklyn campus at Pratt especially with the Victorian mansions lining the streets. Moreover, I very much like the idea offer for candidates at Pratt to develop their unique architectural education based on their goal throughout the last 4 semesters. I admire Pratt for every factor and do believe it is where I am belonging.

Hoping to accomplish with education is a plan for future that everyone would dream of. For me, after receiving a Batchelor degree in architecture, I would plan to further my knowledge by continuing with a Graduate program and further my experiences in helping my family's business of real estates which requires designing and constructing. Also, I hope to travel around and capture every amazing architectural structure so that one day I would be a professional architect that are well-known like, Frank Lloyd Wright. I understand that it is a long term process and a lot of hard work in which to become a professional architect but my strong ambitious, motivation and determination will always keep me up and succeeded in the goal I have eventually. I firmly believed that high-regarded institute like Pratt will be able to help me fulfill my dreams.
benz   
Aug 27, 2009
Undergraduate / help pick my essay topic (applying to art colleges) [10]

hihi... you must be good at drawing cartoons then? =D anyway, im applying in major of architecture at RISD, Pratt, Columbia, Cornell, Parsons, and NJIT!!! do you think is too less of colleges???

do you have to do home exam on 3 drawings for RISD?? if yes, have you done them???

you applying for next year fall rite?? =D

good luck*
benz   
Aug 26, 2009
Undergraduate / help pick my essay topic (applying to art colleges) [10]

hey, i thought your israle idea wasnt bad at all...you should keep writting and post it up before you deleted it because when you think is rubbish, others mite think differently or alternatively they can always make it better for colleges!!! so...keep working on it im sure it would be good!!!

PS. may i know what major you are applying for and for which colleges coz im applying for art colleges too!
benz   
Aug 26, 2009
Undergraduate / RISD SHORT ESSAY [16]

heyy..thank you for correcting my essay! you were right about me posting the essay straight away without going back to check for tenses! i will be more careful next time... =)

thank you
benz   
Aug 26, 2009
Undergraduate / RISD SHORT ESSAY [16]

sorry you guys to ask for help again!!

im not so confident if this is a good enough essay to be send to RISD???

please could you critique my essay topic?
benz   
Aug 25, 2009
Undergraduate / RISD SHORT ESSAY [16]

i would like to add rather than replacing since you think it is a better idea but unfortunately i have to cut some part down because the maximum is 400 words and i have written far beyond that...

so please could you suggest to me where i should cut off or add in? thank you!

PS. i know i have a real problem with my grammar, thank you for inviting the experts to correct the errors for me! i really appreciated!!
benz   
Aug 25, 2009
Undergraduate / RISD SHORT ESSAY [16]

i have changed the stone section and it becomes this:

the wall on the other side was full of graffiti that I could never see in the art gallery, it was spectacular. I to myself, "I rarely see this, why? Is it because I only go to gallery?"
benz   
Aug 25, 2009
Undergraduate / RISD SHORT ESSAY [16]

Please could you help to make this essay better and shorten it so that it isnt too boring and so it is within 200-400 because it is 410 now?

essay:

Have you ever fail to notice small change in your daily lives?

In the world with developed technologies and transportation, people lives in a busy life and ignore the admiration of art around them without noticing.

It happened to me,

I was a spoiled rich girl who never take her feet exercised; cars only. I was the girl who found herself got spell by the arts in the gallery; blind from the outside. Nevertheless, there was a day when I crave to go to art gallery but no cars were available for me. Therefore I made my decision to walk there since it isn't far off.

On the way to gallery, while I was walking along the pavement, some stone was cracked, some was half-missing and some even got dirt and turn into other. I thought to myself, "I rarely see this, why? Is it because I only traveled by car?"

Walking through those pavement, I was ought to cross the bridge. At the top of the bridge was an amazing feeling as when I looked down I saw a long-tailed boat running in its terminal speed with water splashing at the end of the blade of the boat within small area but the rest of river was in quiet piece. I have a thought to myself "why have I never seen this before when I do cross the bridge so often? Is it because I traveled by car?"

I move on and walk into a park as it was a shortcut to the gallery. The park was massive that I couldn't see the end and it was so green that everything looks all the same. I went to sit on the chairs, looked around and saw some big trees that kept people in the shade, saw the fields of grass where one can sunbathe or have some fun activities. What I like the most was when I looked up, the sky was so in a mixed of color on that day because it was nearly sunset. Moreover, when the breeze of wind blows, the trees move gently with sound. I thought to myself "I must walk often!"

I then start walking and admiring the park at the same time and I eventually got to the gallery thou unexpectedly it was already closing time. I wasn't disappointed but thought to myself "I don't need art gallery since art is all around!!"
benz   
Aug 24, 2009
Undergraduate / RISD SHORT ESSAY [16]

here are some ideas i could come up with but im not sure which are the best and wouldnt be boring to the reader:

1) moment - its roughtly about the childhool of my life when i saw a huge box set of nail vanished my moom has got it out to paint her nails and thats the time when i become inspired to the arts of colours and drawings and stickers etc.

2) significant person - its roughly about my parents which support me and teach me to choose and do in whatever if that would bring the happiness to me whereas some familys doesnt support and see acedemic subject as more essential etc.

or lastly

3) place- i have always known myself as an artistic and when i would just walking to the art gallery near my home. i found by walking and looking at the pictures in gallery does give the feeling of art in different ways...something like this??

which you think is better or should i think of more creative ones?
benz   
Aug 24, 2009
Undergraduate / RISD SHORT ESSAY [16]

HELLO,

im applying to RISD and i have to write short essays between 200-400 words. for the first one, write about a significant person, circumstance, moment , idea, place, experience, or thing that hs helped define you up to this point in your life.

does this mean you only choose one out of all these given topic to do? and if so which one should i do and what kind of idea i could make it interesting!

if anyone has written any of these before could i have a read as a guidelines?

thank you for all your help!! please can i have it as soon as possible coz im starting to write it now!!!
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