Scholarship / PERSONAL STATEMENT ON WHY I SHOULD BE CONSIDERED FOR SCHOLARSHIP AT HERRIOT WATT UNIVERSITY. [5]

Well, when you're writing a scholarship essay, the idea is not to display your technical skills but to show how you beat other candidates. I'll suggest following changes:

1. Make it less technical.
2. Add your achievements and recommendations.
3. Why that scholarship is important. Add numbers.

make rough points first.

Best.

Scholarship / Brunel University - Country Specific Scholarship [4]

A LOT OF CHANGES NEEDED: Just first paragraph done here.

As an engineer working in construction field (for the past how many years?), I wish to become future leader and innovator (how? by starting my own business, etc.).

To achieve that (better say "my career goal"), a prestigious Master's degree in Structural Engineering is necessary to prepare me with the knowledge, experience, and networking I need.

I believe (that) Brunel University, with its vibrant international community (offers) an opportunity to connect with people from around the world, is the perfect place to achieve my career goal.

The courses will teach me about advanced knowledge (about latest technological developments) in concrete and steel structure, and structural dynamics, which are very relevant to Indonesian Engineering situation.

My strong professional experience and Master's degree will be the foundation to new innovations and deliver positive values to the world (this DOESN'T MAKE SENSE).

Best.

Sartaj.

Writing Feedback / Music will never disappear from our life [3]

Write a more powerful introduction:

"Humans have been listening and appreciating music for eons for various reasons ranging from participating in cultural activities to de-stressing."

It is important to mention reasons in introduction and explain it in following paragraphs.

Problem with your answer: IELTS demands clear structure in writing section. I can't see that in your answer. (I'm an online IELTS trainer)

Let me propose a structure and perhaps you'll prefer to rewrite:

Introduction
Body Para 1: Reason 1, Example 1
Body Para 2: Reason 2, Example 2
Conclusion

Example 1 must relate to reason 1. Example 2 must relate to reason 2.

Best Wishes.