Undergraduate / All of a sudden everything is different; it was as if I'm experiencing the plots of a drama; Tragedy [9]

I am not so sure if my essay fits the topic
and I don't know what to write for the conclusion DX
plz criticize on grammar and content and structure and etc.!!
thanx!!!!!!

Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
____________________________________________________________ _______________

All of a sudden, everything is different; it was as if I am experiencing the plots of a drama.

Every time I enter the kitchen of my house, I see a tired face. A tired yet resolute face of a worried mother. Ever since the year of 2004, one year after my family's immigration to California, my father's company in Taiwan has encountered major financial trouble. In the era of social disorder, my father mistrusted other people, causing the company's stock to crash and becoming the innocent victim of the darkness of human nature. Suddenly, it dropped from a doing-well, profitable company straight to a hundred-million indebted business.

Just like the company, my family's financial status dramatically collapse from heaven to hell. As young as I was when the life of my parents was crumbled to dust, I can tell that everyone is in despair. Nevertheless, my family had no other choice but to be dressed in resoluteness. Of course, my father has been working without taking any breaks or vacations since then. My oldest brother too sacrificed. Just a freshman in college when the misfortune hit, he was asked to temporarily suspend schooling to help out my father's company at China. As a novice in the society and the eldest son of the family, my brother has to bear the heavy burden of the company. And my poor mother, who is supposed to be enjoying her life after retirement, busied herself with loans, banks, and jobs. Maybe someone in the family would be depressed occasionally, but that person would recover very fast to face the daily challenges with courage.

As for me, because I grew up in a family of distress, I matured mentally faster than other people of my age. I became very independent, hardworking, and determined, trying to not become another cause of stress and burden in the already-hard lives of my parents and my brothers. While keeping up my academic work, I tutor everyday afterschool to earn my own allowances and provide the family with my little pay.

Undergraduate / Another one for Roomies... (So many people are applying to Standford !) [22]

Any comments is welcomed! Be As Harsh As Possible

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your freshman year roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your roommate-and us-know you better.

Cleaning the room and organizing all my properties that I had just brought from Southern California and, I hear the door opening.
"Hi there, wow~ you brought a lot with you! So did I. I know it says on the door that my name is Pu Fang, but actually people call me Amy. I am cleaning up the room first before anything happens, because I am kind of a neat freak, but I have no problem if you are not."

"Before I go on talking, let's get to know each other. I am from Southern California, a little city in Los Angeles. Well... actually I moved there when I was eleven. I emigrated from Taiwan. (If you ever go there, I can take you around.) I can speak Chinese and Taiwanese fluently, not bad in English too, of course. I am a Buddhist, but I am really open-minded to anything, even the things people usually consider out of the norm, for example I was really upset when gay marriage didn't pass the election California had recently. (Don't get the wrong idea, I am not a lesbian) If you want to get deeper on that later, since now we are both busy settling down, I can pull an all-nighter discussing this issue."

"Get back to myself. Oh! Sleeping habits. Although I would I like to, I don't usually sleep early. But if you are, don't worry. When I am not sleeping at night, I am probably doing homework or studying for a test, quietly. I have to sleep without any light or sound. I am usually a very friendly and easy going person, but really sleeping is probably the only thing, other than bugs, that I can't give in. I love to sleep!"

"There's something very important about myself that I have to tell you. I am a Gemini, which means I sort of have double personality. I might be very quiet this moment but loud the next or very happy now, but sad the next second. I am really dramatic, so don't freak out! My friends back home say I scare people too much, that's why I am telling you this."

"Ok... I've been talking too much. (Just tell me to stop talking if you feel annoyed.) Your turn to talk?"
As we settle in our dorm, we chat nonstop as if we have known each other for years.

THX=D

Undergraduate / Common App Short Response (flute teacher) [16]

"This is DO... try it...it's not that hard." My Chinese flute teacher encourages me enthusiastically on the first lesson. The sound that comes out of the bamboo instrument is absolutely beautiful. I fell in love with it right away; it soothes me when I am sad and calms me down when I am mad. Shortly afterwards, the teacher invited me to join his orchestra. A timid immigrant lacking confidence, I learned to make friends despite communication problems while enjoying the resonant music. The orchestra is definitely a haven where I gained confidence to make friends with different people. We are a big family, helping out each other not only on musical difficulties, but also on emotional distresses and personal problems.

plz leave any comments or corrections.
thanx!! I really appreciate any help