Writing Feedback / Children should be taught to collaborate rather than trying to show who's better - IELTS writing [4]

IELTS Writing

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Compete or cooperate?

How to effectively guide children's behavior is becoming a hot topic in our society. Some people regard that arousing the sense of competition of children will benefit them a lot. Others think children who tends to collaborate with others would become more useful adults. Views from both sides are discussed and I consider it is necessary to enhance their cooperation awareness.

Generally speaking, coexisting with honors brought by competition is serious diseases. Being taught to compete with their friends or classmates by their parents or teachers, the children may succeed in exams, win many awards, and even when they are older, they are more likely to be admitted into ideal university and get a satisfying job offer. But we fail to take into consideration the sacrifice behind so many honors these children make. The more competition they participate in, the more pressure competitions brings to them. In addition, when tremendous pressure comes into being, diseases of body and mind ensue.

By contrast, cultivating a sense of cooperation of children enable them to be more useful to their company, and even their country. There is no doubt that cooperation awareness is the most important quality of an employee. An entrepreneur is usually at risk of closing down when some staffs only care for their own interests. As for a country, only all the people stick together to fight against the aggression of foreign enemy and take efforts to develop economic, culture and political, can the nation become more powerful. Apparently, the cooperative consciousness needs to be nurtured at a young age.

Based on views clearly expressed above, I consider that children should be taught to cooperate rather than compete. If one thing, like learning to cooperate, enable us to be a useful person, it is worth doing. (296 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task2 Protecting the variety of languages [2]

write about the following topic:

"Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion"

PROTECTING THE VARIETY OF LANGUAGES

I have written this essay once more.
Please give me your advice and score prediction as well.
Many thanks
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Recent survey shows that numerous languages is going to die. Some people think we just take it easy because life is becoming easy to master few languages in the future. But for me, I strongly disagree this view as languages play an irreplaceable role in human society from the past to the future.

Obviously, languages come to resemble as a result of the steady progress of globalization, and language convergence benefit us a lot in many levels. People do not need to be proficient at multiple languages any more, consequently easing their burden in time and money, which could be utilized to do something meaningful. In addition, keeping contact with other countries in economy and culture is increasingly easy, thus our country can give GDP a boost. But it does not imply that taking measures to protect languages from going extinct is useless because it exerts great influence in the development of human society.

There is no doubt that the implication of popular literary works and dramas, expressed in their specific language, can not be concisely expressed by other languages. For example, could you imagine Persian folk songs or Indonesian folk songs is deduced in english. In addition, language existing as one kind of cultural heritage for many years as well as the accumulation of life experience, has been beyond its definition, which could not be replaced by other languages.

Apparently the idea that life will be easier if there are fewer languages is too short-sighted. People holding this view fail to take into consideration the role that languages play in human society upon which the survival of mankind and social progress build. (273 words)

Writing Feedback / The extinction of languages and how to prevent it - IELTS [4]

write about the following topic:

"Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion"

protecting the variety of languages

Regarding the phenomenon that several languages die out in the past few years, some people consider life may become easy to handle. But for me, the disadvantages of death of several languages far overweight its advantages.

Obviously, languages come to resemble as a result of the steady progress of globalization, and language convergence benefit us a lot in many levels. At personal level, people does not need to master multiple languages any more, consequently easing their burden in time and money, which could be utilized to do something meaningful. In addition, at national level, keeping contact with other countries in economy and culture is increasingly easy, thus our country can give GDP a boost, and even increase the influence toward the international.

In my opinion, we need to put more emphasis on the extinction of some languages, playing an essential role in the development of human society. Firstly, there are popular literatures and drama, expressed in their specific language, whose implication cannot be expressed concisely by other language. Secondly, language has been beyond its definition, existing as one kind of cultural heritage for many years as well as the cumulation of life experience, which could not be replaced by other languages. Last but not the least, all people deeply love their language, and psychological trauma caused by the death of language is beyond our imagination.

In conclusion, every one counts in learning and protecting multiple languages, which can produce a far-reaching impact on us and our offspring.