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[Toefl] an effective leader should try to make others part of the decision making process [13]
@Roman123
I'm sort of a grammar Nazi so all I can offer is grammar and sentence structure corrections.
Para 1:
Sentence 1: I would leave out bracketed sentence.
Sentence 2: "Some people consider
(believe) that referring
(insert 'to') others' opinion
(s) before deciding
(agreeing) (insert 'on') the decision is an ..."
Sentence 3: "In my view
(opinion), I agree with them."
Para 2:
Sentence 1: "First and
the foremost, making others part of
(insert 'the'/'your') decision
(insert 'makes it') is easy to come ..."
Sentence 3: "Like in
(insert 'the') classroom, teachers
are (insert 'can') hardly get
rid (insert 'eliminate') of
any (insert 'all their') mistakes, they need our students' notices."
(<honestly don't know what 'they need our students' notices' means. would remove)
Sentence 5: "...because one individual
is impossible to be (insert 'cannot possibly be an') expert in every field ...
Sentence 7: "So referring
(insert 'to') others' opinion
(s) increases the likelihood ..."
Para 3:
Sentence 1: "... listening to others' suggestion(s) enhances the whole ..."
Sentence 3: "Just imagine what
it would happen if the leader is the only one
to make
(ing) decision
(s)."
Sentence 4: "... assignments without any
suggestion (insert ' contribution to the project') as well as novelty."
(really not sure about 'as well as novelty')Sentence 6: "Once I was
the minster of
(insert ' the') secretary department in
(insert 'the'/'our') student union."
Sentence 7: "
At (insert 'in')the beginning, I only distributed assignment
(s) to every member and told them how to
do (insert ' complete it')."
Sentence 8: "
But I found out that they were so
inactivity (insert 'inactive') and our tasks were
hardly (insert 'barely') approved by teachers."
Sentence 9: "Finally, I changed my
mind (insert 'leadership style') and every time before I made
(insert 'my') decision I always ..."
Sentence 10: " Surprisingly, they became more
enthusiasm (insert 'enthusiastic') than before and
give (insert 'contributed') more ideas, meanwhile teachers gave
high evaluation (insert 'immense praise) to our work
s."
Sentence 11: "Therefore, taking others' idea
(s) is a good way for
(insert 'a') leader to enhance the total productivity
(insert 'group or organisation')."
Para 4:
Sentence 1: "
The last but not
the least, an (...) others' suggestion
(s) because it
(insert 'is') likely to establish a harmonious phenomenon
(<not sure about this. maybe try 'experience')."
Sentence 2: "I believe that
(insert 'the') leader shouldn't just focus on result,
(insert 'but') also
(insert 'the') procedure
(insert 'as it') is equally important for a team.
Sentence 3: "So a harmonious phenomenon is critical."
(<not sure about this)Sentence 4: "... communication among leader
(s) and members."
Sentence 5: "Later the team fill with grasp and laughter."
(<again not sure. what does grasp mean in this context)Sentence 6: "As a consequence, the team
(s) relationship
gets(insert 'becomes') closer and members increase their loyalty to
(insert ' the') leader too."
Sentence 7: " ... an aspect to indicate
effective(insert 'effectiveness')."
Para 5:
Sentence 1: "To wrap up, allowing others
(insert ' to be a') part of the decision making process
by leaders contributes to wise decisions as well as
(insert 'contributing to the') high productivity of
(insert 'the') team also establishes a harmonious phenomenon
(<again not sure)."
Sentence 2: "So
(insert 'I believe that') leader
(s) should try
(insert 'implementing) this strategy
(insert' in their group or organisation)."
Sentence 3/4: "
Do you remember the saying?(insert 'as the (old)(<optional) saying goes,) two minds are better than one."