Posts by Watsup [Suspended]

Watsup

Oct 31, 2017

Writing Feedback / Increasing the fuel price will have a negative effect because it will increase the cost of transport [3]

I think there are numerous problems with your essay, so i think you should rewrite this one.Let me show you some. First, is the way you capitalize first letter like : "..., Other disagree and "....as a result, people prefer to use their own vehicles.".Second, you shouldn't use the word "controversial in your essay because the topic just asks you about your own opinion and the solution, "controversial" is too strong for this, but you can say this problem "shall be discussed".Finally, your ideas are good but the way you explain them are not persuasive enough.For ex, in the second para:"the government decides to raise the fuel price, taxis and buses also have to increase their fee. as a result, people prefer to use their own vehicles.".So what, does it affect the traffic problems or the pollution ?

There are more than this, but you should read your essay again and rewrite it.

Watsup

Oct 26, 2017

Writing Feedback / Some people enjoy changes and new experience, others like to stay unchanged. Compare both approaches [3]

*P/s: The full topic is: " Some people enjoy changes and look forward to new experiences, others like their lives to stay the same and not want to change their usual habits.Compare these two approaches to life. Which appoach do you prefer ?

the positive view of change

There are various tendencies in the way people encounter to problems in life.Some people appreciate adjustments and they contemplate to different acquaintances, while others take satisfaction in making their activities in the same manner and do not want to shift.In this essay, i will discuss both sides of the argument and represent my opinion.

To begin with, the idea of confronting new experiences is quite attractive for two main reasons.First, a new awareness can only be achieved by undergoing new advances.To become the best in the fields which people expect to work , they have to be challenged with different and new questions or situations.By training with this method, people will improve their ability to solve the problems more wisely and quickly.One illustration of this is that if people want to be a scientist who can invent something modern, they should be able to adjust and take full advantage of modifications to finally base on it and create inventions.Second, being entertained with changes is also an ideal way to enjoy life to the full.If people's activities repeated continuously, life would be boring and no inspiration.Therefore, modification is a key to solve this issue because it will help people to find new opportunities, to overcome obstacles and to enjoy diverse and beautiful factors.For instance, people can travel to a new country to learn new things and thus not only improve their knowledge but also make them happier, more self-confident and more persistent.

However, the public who are fond of static lives do show some persuasive arguments.It goes without saying that a life without or little changes is really peaceful and safe.In other words, these people avoid facing with difficulties and risks; they do not want to spend their days with worries and plans.For instance,normal employees often choose to do a boring job but with a high salary instead of working at their favourite fields but just can get a living wage.Besides, a durable lifestyle will protect people's health efficiently because these ones often look at problems with uninteresting eyes, so they do not intend to concentrate on with great deal of doing and time,hence their energy can be unaffected.

In conclusion, both sides have its own valid reasons, but i am in favor of the positive view of change as it is a main reason for human evolution.Without changes, people could not break their limit to acquire more knowledge and thus the society would not be able to refine and the general public might face up to unsolved issues.

Watsup

Sep 16, 2017

Writing Feedback / ISSUE:-think on task rather than worry about result [5]

I think the para1 is too long while the para 3 which need to be developed is too short. The conclusion doesn't concern with the topic

Watsup

Sep 13, 2017

Writing Feedback / People with five distinctive employment status allocating their spare time [3]

Well. I think you should change the way you describe the information because it looks too simple.You can also change the name of the factors in the bar chart in order to avoid the repetition.And the first sentence in the third paragraph, in my opinion, can be misunderstood because it may be thought that the free time hours both genders consumed were equal.

Watsup

Sep 9, 2017

Writing Feedback / Everyone should study at school until 18. To what extent,do you agree or disagree? [3]

years at school

There are several reasons for people to stay at school until they are 18: but the most significant explaination is about the protection of school. This is because if people are under 18, they are still not mature enough and can be easily fall into social evils such as: addiction, scrimmage or pre-age sex.Educational insitution, because of these problems, are responsible for teaching students to stay away from them and leaners will then have a full awareness of various social evils in life.

It is also something suggested that people choosing to study until 18 will have a better opportunity to land a good job.This is because degree, which is a recognition of a study process is often considered as a compulsory factor of every company, especial with the good reputation one.One illustration of this is that the ratio for a man who does not study at least 12 years, wants to work for a company is very low (5%-15%) because he does not even response to one the most basic need of every company.In contrast, the one who study until 18 or even higher is often be appriciated and can get a good job easily.

P/s: i only write 2 body paragraphs because i'm new to IELtS