Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by xubis
Joined: Sep 3, 2009		 Last Post: Sep 9, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 8
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
xubis   
Sep 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / CBEST: Bad memories should not be treated as a hindrance but as a learning opportunity. [5]

Please give feedback on my essay and how to improve its structure and formation

Do memories hinder or help people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in the present and future, Support with reasons and examples.

In my view, our past guides us in present and future. Bad memories should not be treated as a hindrance but as a learning opportunity.

There are many life events that have made me realize the importance of past. In school I was among bright and hardworking students who always top the list, but once in grade seven my grades were not good. I was so sad and depressed, my elder sister who knew all about it advise me to analyze all the mistakes and weaknesses that I have in those subjects, and work on the areas that need improvement. Later I found out that was the right approach, my grades went up and I was again on top students list.

Past events give us a chance to learn valuable lesson, and realize our mistakes, no matter how terrible the memory is, the hidden message help us in future. Ten years ago when stock market was going up my brother invested heavily in tech stocks, although father advised him not to invest in one sector, he didn't pay attention to his advice and finally lost when the market collapsed. Although he blew almost all of his savings, he realized his mistake of investing all in one industry and since then never repeated it. For this reason I also feel it's always good to take advice from elders as they also have lifetime experiences, which proved to be very valuable most of the time.

Sometimes we stuck in terrifying situation which leaves everlasting impression on our mind, we don't even like to discuss or think about them. But it's wiser if we analyze what went wrong and how to avoid it in future. For example, my friend who was very good driver had a car accident, in that she was badly injured. Although, it was the mistake of other driver who was driving fast and didn't indicate before changing lane. But at the time of accident my friend was not wearing the seat belt; if she was, the injuries could be less. Instead of not driving for the rest of her life, she should pay attention on safety measures.

Great people believe past life and memories guide us in future and make the journey of life easier, and so do I.
xubis   
Sep 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / Critique my essay; American Sports : Sportsmanship or to win at any cost [12]

Revised Version

Sports is not considered activity anymore. For players its their profession,passion and life. It is a multibillion dollar industry.Players earn a lot through match fees,sponsors, prize money and various other sources. Whether its golf or football , it can be watched live by millions around the world.Players are more then a celebrity , fans love them and want them to meet their expectations. This fame, glamour and fan club is putting negative effect on players and they are believing on the philosophy 'to win at any cost' in order to maintain their reputation and fan following.

I believe this idea is prevailing in American sports. Due to which every now and then we observe aggressive and unethical behavior of players.
Spotsmanship includes fairplay, respect and courtesy toward opponents, abide by the rules, respect decision of referee and in the end wholeheartedly accept the final results.Unfortunately our sportsmen are forgetting these golden rules.

Players take illegal and ban drugs. These drugs boost energy and enhance performance which give them unfair advantage over hardworking and honest players. One example is, Alex Rodriguez of New York Yankees who recently admitted taking steroids from 2001-03, as he was under enormous pressure to perform and to prove his worth.Football and basketball players are also found having serious steroid problems.

Passing indecent comments to opponents is another issue.This also lead to fights sometime, I still remember the fight between New York knicks and Denver Nuggets few years back which was started by mere pushing,but the anger and frustration turned it into a whole street fight scene.Consequently,both team players were suspended for upto 15 games. Obviously this kind of disruptive behavior come up when winning is all you want.

Arguing with referee is also seen during matches, interesting enough this is only when the decision is against the team or player otherwise they dont care what is fair and right.

In my view coaches and team management should work together with players to rectify ground manners and encourage to show sportsmanship, develop the ability to handle game pressure . Necessary steps should be taken to ensure players don't ruin the sanctity and purity of games by using performance enhancing drugs or by brawling. I advice players to do your best and leave the rest.
xubis   
Sep 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / Critique my essay; American Sports : Sportsmanship or to win at any cost [12]

In American sports, there have recently developed two philosophies. One philosophy is win at any cost. The other philosophy is fair play or sportsmanship.
Choose the philosophy you feel is prevalent in America today and give reasons why you feel that philosophy is prevalent.

Sports are not considered activity anymore. For players its their profession,passion and life. It has become multibillion dollar industry.Players earn well through match fees,sponsors, prize money etc. Whether its golf or football , it can be watched live by millions around the world.This fame and glamour is putting negative effect on players and they are believing on the philosophy 'to win at any cost' in order to maintain their reputation and fan cub.

This idea is prevailing in American sports. Due to which we observe aggressive and unethical behavior of players during the game.
Spotsmanship includes fairplaying, showing respect to opponents, abiding by the rules, accepting decision of referee and whatever the result is accepting it wholeheartedly.

Unfortunately our sports stars are forgetting these golden rules. Every now and then we see a lot of aggression and bad attitude during big or close fought games.

Players are even caught up taking illegal and ban drugs which they take to boost energy and increase performance.On the ground they often exchange harsh words and pass indecent comments to opponents which indicates their anger and frustration.This behavior have lead to fight sometimes, resulting in penalties or even suspension.

Arguing with referee is another aspect very often seen during matches, this attitude disrupt the match flow.

In my view coaches and team management should work together with players to rectify ground manners and encourage to show sportsmanship, rather then to teach to win only, as winning and losing is part of the game , do your best and leave the rest.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
✖
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳