Writing Feedback / Facebook, Twitter etcetera. What have they done to our society as a whole? [5]

Hi guy,
I think your essay is great, providing me with useful vocabulary and expression.
But:
- I think your introduction is overlength, which may make you lack of time to write the bodies when you're sitting for the IELTS test. For me, the sentence "In fact, this phenomenon takes place ..." is not really necessary.

- Several words you used is redundant: "Individual people" -> "individuals" is OK. Several sentences you used can be shortened: "such sites have encouraged people to ..." -> "lack of interactions, compared with the past seems to be the major negative impact of such sites".

- I think your second main idea is not wide enough. As a pharmacy student, I have some information about this and I knew that obesity is only one specific consequence. I recommend you to rewrite this body, using the information about "sedentary lifestyle", leading to many severe health consequences, such as obesity, diabetes, or metabolism disorder.

Writing Feedback / Participating in sports and exercises in Australia. Reporting bar charts - IELTS [4]

Hi there,
It seems to me that you've done a good job. Your report is full of detail and it provides a huge number of comparisons.

However, I think this report is imbalance, with an unequal length of two bodies. Another point is that you should replace the word "female" or "male" to upgrade your lexical resource point.

Good job, mate

Undergraduate / Academic English - cannot enjoy writing anymore [4]

dear friend, after reading your essay, i need to admit that you are quite good at writing. The only thing you need to improve is coherence: it is necessary to show the clear link between ideas.

Regarding to your assignments at University, I think there are some ways for you to deal with them better:
1. You should learn how to paraphrase effectively. To get essential materials, you can search this phrase on the Internet; another ideal choice is material in TOEFL intergrated writing task.

2. You can approach articles which are similar to your assignment. For example, if your're major in Chemistry, you can search several publicized summary about chemistry, they are available on many websites and journal. I think the way authors express their idea is needed for you

Writing Feedback / Parent should not pressure their children to choose particular profession. [7]

1. Grammar accuracy:
- You need to put these verbs into passive form: force (line 1), pressure (line 2)
- Verb tense: chosen (line 7) -> chose
2. Task response: You've made a remarkable effort to express your idea. As far as I understand, you claim that parent should offer financial support rather than force children to follow their willingness in occupation. However, your essay seems like your're paraphrasing this thesis statement and it lacks of supporting details to persuade others to believe that you 're correct.

This is my opinion