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Posts by Ahmad Faqhruddin
Name: Ahmad Faqhruddin Abdur-Rabb
Joined: Sep 29, 2017
Last Post: Oct 3, 2017
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: Indonesia
School: Hasanuddin University

Displayed posts: 6
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Ahmad Faqhruddin   
Oct 3, 2017
Writing Feedback / Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. [3]

youth crime rate



Nowadays, the level of crime among young people is increasing widely in a number of countries. This might derive from several factors, which will be elaborated in detail by this essay, including the possible solutions to overcome those significantly.

Looking to the underlying factors of this problem, at least there are two main reasons. Firstly, this is probably influenced by economic pressure, which it is mostly related to jobless condition. In this case, the youngsters, because they do not have a job, might be difficult to meet their daily needs which are increasingly complex today. Therefore, this situation tends to stimulate them to get something through an illegal way, such as larceny and robbery. Moreover, another reason is potentially influenced by lack of family closeness. This is sometimes noticeable on dual-income or wealthy family, in which the parents are really busy with their job or business, and likely to neglect their children. As the result, the young people might possibly abuse their wealth on what could entertain them, such as gambling or drug consumption.

Considering the possible solutions, there are several strategic ways which could be taken to handle directly the root of causes. The first is through providing a number of skill trainings, especially for youngsters, as a preventive way to prepare themselves for finding a job. Besides, these programmes could be also being rehabilitative method, when the young people have further involved within a gengster. Secondly, the most helpful strategy for reducing youth crime is potentially by building supportive parenting behaviour, inside of family life itself. This solution would greatly strengthen the family closeness by affection, warmth, hearing and understanding children's view and experience outside home. As the result, the youth's activities would be controlled more persuasively and openly.

To conclude, youth crime rate having increased today is influenced by two main reasons, such as economic pressure and lack of family closeness. Those could be overcome by certain strategic ways, like skill training program and building supportive parenting method, which directly influence to the root causes.
Ahmad Faqhruddin   
Sep 29, 2017
Writing Feedback / [IELTS 2]Because of computers the life is easier and more convenient or just complex and stressful? [3]

@plamchiiii
I just concern on few parts.

Firstly, your introduction haven't covered the task instruction needing paraphrase the question on both views way. You could access more example by online. In the opening intro, there is no subject, (nowadays there is almost.....) It should be (nowadays, there is ....). "Nowadays" is adverb, couldn't be subject, so add comma.. Moreover there are other grammatical error, I'm sure you could reduce it, check it again before you post. At least you could make sure the SV agreement.

Secondly, your idea in the second body, is computer as the source or device? It is different, source and device.

Practice more, read more.
Ahmad Faqhruddin   
Sep 29, 2017
Writing Feedback / More countries are opening their doors to welcome more tourist [5]

Question: International tourism has become cheaper and more countries are opening their doors to welcome more tourist. What are the benefits and the drawbacks?
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The advantages and disadvantages of tourism industry



Today, tourism industry has become cheaper and trigger several countries to open their region for more tourism journeys. This issue possibly contains merits and demerits toward the country itself, which those will be elaborated more by this essay.

Currently, majority of countries have computed certain sector, particularly tourism industry, which contributes significantly to national income. Moreover, a number of developed countries are prioritizing this industry as the core of their economy. It is happened because this industry can elevate public income by several ways. For example, it could potentially boost productivity of local handicrafts and resorts which are provided by local community. Therefore, they would possibly earn more income and enhance job opportunity directly, then these will contribute to national income indirectly.

Turning to the drawbacks, the development of tourism industry sometimes causes negative impact, such as related to property ownership domination and local identity aspect. Firstly, this industry could perhaps become a threat to local citizen, if the industry is uncontrollable by enhancement of comers investment. Today, certain region well-known as tour place have been dominated by foreigner investment, such as coast area with its beautiful beach, highland area with its enjoyable landscape, or even farming field which is converted as an interesting resort. Thus, the property ownership will change over from local citizen to the investor. Secondly, this industry might possibly make the local identity worse. For example, traditional dance which just become an entertainment will reduce the sense correlated with its local wisdom.

Based on elaboration above, the development of tourism industry which become cheaper today should be considered comprehensively to gain more benefits and reducing the drawbacks.
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