Writing Feedback / The topic describe positive side when living in city - opportunities, career, raising children, etc. [4]

Se7enkieu, as I began to edit your essay, I stopped abrupty. I don't think it's quite ready for the editing process here. Your ideas are good, but, if this essay is intended for an English audience (or similar), your writing will need some work first (and more than what a quick edit here can provide you). My best suggestion to you is to find a native English speaker with whom you can express the thoughts you wish to put into this essay. Then, have them talk through with you the words you should choose to craft the sentences in this essay. It is tedious to correct simple grammar mistakes in this online format, but will be quite simple to do when speaking in person.

Don't be dismayed by this task - you are completely capable and with a bit more work, you'll end up with a stellar essay! Good Luck!

Writing Feedback / Essay: Do the advantages of shopping online outweigh the disadvantages? [4]

Here are some quick suggestions, below in red:
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Undergraduate / Applying to the college of arts and sciences and becoming University of Pennsylvania alumni [3]

Here is some quick feedback:

Overall, your essay is well written - good job! Tinys edits I might suggest include:

"... in each of their own fields." (delete "own")

" and Penn will support any academic path ... " (change from "is willing")

"... not limited to the classroom at Penn." (delete "4 corners" - it doesn't help)

"... choices were often limited." ("restricted" sounds a bit harsh)

"... human experience is understandably narrow." ("incredibly" really overdoes it!)

"When I visited Penn during a week in July this past summer ..." (or, did you actually mean that you spent the entire week AT Penn?)

"The diversity of Penn was especially appealing to me." (Because the sentence about "high bar" doesn't make sense as well as it should.)

"...individuals and cultures for whom I will be advocating for." (grammar)

"... perspectives, and to listen to as many ..." (grammar)

"...serving those I will lead in the future." ("who I lead" sounds a bit much)

"And finally,..." ("lastly" is ok, but "last" and "finally" work just as well)

"...alumna." (Alumni is the plural of alumnus)

Hope that helps! Best wishes with your application, I think you sound like a stellar applicant!

Writing Feedback / Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. [2]

I would change the opening sentence as follows:

There are some individuals who believe mankind should invest more in exploring the possibilithy of life outside Earth, due to future challenges remaining on the planet. I disagree with this viewpoint.

I would change the opening sentence of the second paragraph as follows:

The first reason is that searching for life on other planets is waste of resources.

I would change the last sentence of the third paragraph as follows:

Moreover, if we can find other planets on which life is possible, but we continue destroying them through harmful activities, we will cease to exist in the end regardless.