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Posts by coffeetoffee
Name: Joo
Joined: Feb 2, 2018
Last Post: Feb 3, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Singapore
School: ACSI

Displayed posts: 4
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coffeetoffee   
Feb 3, 2018
Undergraduate / Waterloo AIF - Goals and interests in the Global Business and Digital Arts [3]

Wow, I feel like your writing is amazing! Still waiting for other comments to come in, but I could really see how your passion for film and your experiences led to you deciding to pursue this course.

Is the part about you eventually wanting to pursue law really necessary? If it isn't I think you can remove that, otherwise theres also the question of how the end of your second writeup would link with becoming a lawyer.
coffeetoffee   
Feb 3, 2018
Scholarship / We are the product of both our efforts and our failures. NTU scholarship essay [4]

@Holt
Thank you for your comments! I really appreciate it ◡̈

So sorry could I clarify so beliefs are not the same as personal point of view? :o So would the issue with my essay be not showing that 'failure is a personal point of view' bit?

Apologies but I'm not sure what you mean about making my essay reflecting more of the prompt T ^ T

Also, do you think that bit about penicillin is relevant/ significant?
coffeetoffee   
Feb 3, 2018
Scholarship / "I like your car" - Personal Statement for KGSP application Undergraduate to study Design [5]

There is something wrong with your tenses in the first paragraph. I had to reread many times as I was very confused about the order of events.

At ten years old, I designed my first car. One day, with rope tied to my tin-car, I began dragging my tin-car along the dusty Lagos road. (it would be nice if you had a reason as to why you suddenly did this). I trekked for three hours... As I wondered if I should continue what seemed like a fruitless journey...

I hope you get my drift. The english really throws people off at first glance. Do adjust the rest of the tenses.

With regards to flow of the story I think you focused too much on what happened, and focused too much on the little details as to the influence this event had on you (which should be the focus), as well as other reasons why you are applying for the program.

Best of luck!
coffeetoffee   
Feb 2, 2018
Scholarship / We are the product of both our efforts and our failures. NTU scholarship essay [4]

I would really be super super grateful if you could give me comments on this :') Thanks so much!

Describe, in less than 300 words, the values and beliefs you hold strongly to. Please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions.

To Face The Fear Of Failure And Win



Failure is often seen as something negative and to be avoided. However I beg to differ. While it would not make sense to actively hope for failure, I feel that when facing failure, it is often important to stay positive and look at what we can learn from the experience. Oftentimes, failure may even be an opportunity in disguise.

Penicillin, one of the top health advancements in history, was discovered by accident when a petri dish was contaminated. One could say that Sir Alexander Fleming had failed in his original experiment, though his failure led him in another direction, allowing antibiotics to be discovered.

In my own life, my first sense of failure was when I was unable to get into the school I wanted after my PSLE. I was greatly disappointed, and ended up going to another school. One thing led to another and I ended up studying in a school I really loved. I also gained many valuable opportunities and skills which I would not have gained otherwise. Looking back, I can see how everything fell into place. Today, what I viewed as failure seems instead like an opportunity. It was an opportunity that led me to the right place.

In life, failure will come at the most unexpected times, and things may not always work out the way we wish. Increasingly, I get the sense that it is the way we face our failures that matters the most. Do we wallow in depression? Or do we look at what can be learnt and move on? I believe that we are the product of both our efforts and our failures. In the end, our failures force us to reevaluate ourselves and ultimately push us in the right direction.
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