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Posts by DUONGVUTUANMINH
Name: Duong Vu Tuan Minh
Joined: Jul 11, 2018
Last Post: Jul 12, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
Likes: 1
From: Viet Nam
School: Nguyen Hue Gifted School

Displayed posts: 4
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DUONGVUTUANMINH   
Jul 11, 2018
Writing Feedback / Topic: universities should only offer to young students with high marks,... [3]

accepting only well-qualified students to universities?



Topic: Many people say that universities should only offer to young students with high marks, others say that they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

A major debate in the field of taking parts in universities revolves around the issue of whether educational institutes should accept well-qualified students or scholars of all ages without assessing their current academic levels. This essay will delve into both viewpoints and voice my personal opinions.

On the one hand, it is admitted that students with decent marks should be trained by reputed universities. Intellectual personnel such as doctors, lawyers, etc are feted in their countries these days. In addition, these people are lucrative sources of the national budget. American conglomerates exemplify perfectly in this case. Renowned companies have stimulated highly qualified IT workers by attractive salary policies with the aim of competing other firms. Therefore, intellectual students not only benefit their own countries by accelerating national GDP rate but also shelter their families from monetary burdens. Consequently, it is vital for educational authorities to encourage well-performed scholars to pursue higher education.

On the other hand, people should be given the freedom to do what they desire and embarking on universities is not an exception. It is absurd to say that education plays no useful role in the adulthood. The country would extremely benefit if it's citizens decide to learn in universities despite their ages. However, senior learners must be applied to certain training programs provided appropriately by universities.

To conclude, I believe that everyone can freely broaden knowledge by applying to a university in conformity with his or her financial conditions. Notwithstanding, students who capable of affording universities' courses, should not be profitable from national funding for education.
DUONGVUTUANMINH   
Jul 11, 2018
Writing Feedback / Money plays an important role in deciding on a career. Salary importance. [3]

some recommendations for your essay:
1. on the one hand
2. healthcare
3. we all need
4. improves
5. standard of living/living standard
6. jobs based on enjoyment => jobs base on job satisfaction
7. professions => professionals
8. where passion is more than money => where money is pale in significance compares to passion
9. fulfill
10. ... of a workplace is extremely ...
11. they will be more happy and make more productive
12. mke less => make fewer
13. because
14. contribute something positive for society => contribute positively to the society

11. they will be happier and more productive. Sorry :))
DUONGVUTUANMINH   
Jul 11, 2018
Writing Feedback / The line chart illustrates the rate of smoking among males and females in Someland from 1960 to 2000 [6]

I have some recommendations for your essay. Firstly, it is vital to have a sturdy structure, you should have 1 to 2 sentences for the introduction and the overall. Subsequently, possessing 3-4 sentences in the next 2 paragraphs. And what I do like about your essay that it actually has a conclusion which is a very good way to lengthen an essay. Notwithstanding, I think you should develop your idea like this with the purpose of securing decent word count. In each main paragraph, you should say the overall trend, more specific details, and comparison. I always write a writing task 1 essay like that.
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