Writing Feedback / Coins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and back cards [NEW]

IELTS TASK 2: COins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and back cards. DO you agree or disagree that eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone? Please proofread my essay

credit/debit cards instead of coins and bills?

The issue of having a cashless society wherein coins and bills are replaced by the use of credit cards and debit cards continues to be a controversial topic nowadays. I disagree to the notion that using credit cards and debit cards is safer for all people.

The existence of thieves and hackers all over the globe makes it risky to just rely on the use of these credit and debit cards. It would be a much easier job for thieves since they will only need to get a single card in order to access all of the person's money. In addition, these criminals could do all the stealing in the comforts of their homes, which will make it a lot more difficult for policemen to mitigate and detect.

Furthermore, the use of credit and debit cards entail the use of mobile apps for online banking and monitoring. However, there are still a lot of people who are not computer literate and are not knowledgeable of recent technologies. In effect, this will make it inconvenient for these people since they will have to learn to operate these apps in order to monitor their money and bank transactions. This is especially true in a lot of developing countries like the Philippines.

In conclusion, I disagree that the use of credit and debit cards will be safer and convenient for everyone since not all people in the world are technologically updated and literate thereby making it hard for them to secure and monitor their finances.

Writing Feedback / A training for future employment is more significant than the provision of broad-based education [2]

Training for work is far more important than providing a broad-based education.

to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people believe that training for future employment is of greater significance than the provision of broad-based education. I firmly disagree to this notion, and believe that having a broad-based education is of equal importance.

People who believe that a wider educational content has similar significance with employment training claim that an individual's life has a lot of aspects and does not only evolve around work. People need to have practical skills and knowledge that they can use in their everyday lives like cooking, baking, physical education, and sanitation. Although these skills, in a lot of professions, are not used in their line of work, they are utilized everyday and are essential to sustain a safe and healthy life.

In addition, having a broader body of knowledge not only focused to an aspired future job enables an individual to have more options for employment. This is especially true to individuals who decide to shift courses or career. They will not have to start from scratch since most likely they already have a background knowledge and adequate skills for the career they will be shifting to; albeit, not proficiently as those who had an in-depth training for the job.

In conclusion, I strongly disagree that training for future employment is more important than a broad based education since life is not just about a person's career, and a wider body of knowledge is always an advantage for anyone.