Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 (global climate change) - carbon print [3]

Who should take responsibility for the climate change?

Topic: Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment.

My essay: Climate change has become a global problem since the last century. The question of which country, more developed country or less developed country, should be more responsible for such issue has been highly controversial. While some people holds that all countries are responsible for environmental protection, I firmly hold that developed countries have a greater responsibility than developing countries.

There is ample evidence to suggest that developing countries emit more greenhouse gas in the past 10 years due to a rapid initialization and the establishment of manufacturing firms of the multinational corporations. These companies are attracted by the low tax rate and lenient environmental regulations; therefore setting up their production lines. At such it can be concluded that developing countries should work in combating global climate change.

I believe that there are some fault with this reasoning. Developed countries clearly lack of well-established system and technology to alleviate pollution problem and the emission of greenhouse gas. In contrast, more developed countries, United States and Germany, should have sufficient capital and technological innovation to reduce their pollution level. More, developed countries have the responsibility to be the leading role of dealing with global issues. Various measures can be applied, for example, technological transfer and emission trading. International co-operation is believed to be essential especially when all countries are facing the same problem.

To summarize, I feel that all countries should contribution to lower their emission level and protect the atmospheric environment regardless of their level of development. To avoid further deterioration of the issue, they should work together to reduce carbon footprint.

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Please help me to mark my essay and give me a band score
thanks!!!

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1 (bar chart showing modes of transport of children) [6]

How kids commute to schools

TOPIC:
The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

MY ESSAY:

The bar chart demonstrates the number of trips taken by children between the age of 5 to 12 in one country in 1990 and 2010 respectively. It also shows the transportation modes that children take when travel from and to school.

In 1990, the majority of children go to school and back home by walking. It has more than 12 million and nearly a double of all the other transportation modes. Car passenger, cycling, walking and bus, and bus are relatively less popular. None of these modes has more than 8 million.

The phenomenon was very different in the year of 2010. Car passenger has sky rocketed from around 4 million to more than 11 million. In contrast, walking, cycling, walking and bus, and bus decreased significantly. It is worthy to notice that the number of children who go to and from school by walking and cycling dropped by more than half.

In general, it can be observed that the pattern transportation mode has undergone significant changes, with car passenger has become more popular.

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please help me to mark my essay and give me some feedback with a band score.

thanks!!!!

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  bar chart