Posts by selinastchen

selinastchen

Jul 1, 2019

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: Process Diagram of Producing Reliable Forecasts [2]

Please give me some advice! Thanks a lot.

how a good weather forecast is made?

The picture illustrates the process performed by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology of collecting weather information, analyzing and presenting accurate weather reports.

There are four steps required to come up with a brief broadcast. Weather information collecting and the analysis to the sources must be done prior to the design of the broadcast, which will be delivered through different platforms while all the materials are well-prepared.

To speak more precisely, attribute and spatial data should be collected through different facilities, including satellite, radar, and drifting buoy, in the first case. With the data, professionals may analyze the information through specific techniques, which satellite photo, radar screen, and synoptic chart will be illustrated respectively according to data collected with each method. Prediction to the weather for the coming week will at the same time be completed during this process.

With all the materials gathered in computers, technician may begin to organize the lines and storyboards of the weather report. There are various ways to deliver messages to the audience, either TV newsreader, radio, or recorded announcement are all accessible ways to deliver broadcasts. Whether successfully transforming difficult messages into straightforward programms target to the public is one of the most important topics to produce forecasts.

selinastchen

Jul 1, 2019

Writing Feedback / The exercise which I often do and how it get on [3]

1. There are some spelling mistakes such as undoubtedly and every time.
2. Many of your sentences can be paraphrased in a more straightforward way. For instance, you may change "It also let me get more extroverted and confident" to "It turned me into an extroverted and confident person"

3. It will be a complete essay if you've written it in Chinese. However, it's quite illogical when it was done in English. You should try to think in English instead of translating sentences from your native language. Either novel, news report, or others' essay will help you a lot.

selinastchen

Jul 1, 2019

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: A survey conducted by a university library [3]

There are some grammar mistakes.
1. conduct is an uncountable noun, so there's no need for an "a"
2. over half of the full-time students
3. happy with the current opening hours

You may want to change some of your words
1. happy => pleased, glad, satisfied
2. compared with 23% of part-time students => while the figure for part-time students was lower, at 23%

selinastchen

Jun 26, 2019

Writing Feedback / Comparing two maps showing a difference regarding road access to a city hospital [4]

I've revised my writing. I'll appreciate a lot of anyone will like to give me some advice.
_____

The two maps show the renovation of the structures around the city hospital from 2007 to 2010.

Overall, the main roads to the city hospital remained basically the same in the 3 year period. However, there were several new constructions aimed to improve the traffic condition.

To be more precise, the six bus stops, which used to locate at both sides of the Hospital Road, were removed and replaced by an organized bus station set to the north of the hospital. The structure provided passengers a more straightforward direction to take public transportations. What's more, speak to private vehicles, linked with the bus station are two roundabouts, which were established in order to decline heavy traffics.

In the other hand, there were often reports from citizens about hospital staff occupying parking spaces since public and staff car parks were combined initially. To solve the problem, in 2010, the public car park was separated from one of the staff and was newly built on the east side of the hospital. The new facility provides both staff of the hospital and citizens sufficient parking spaces as well as individual pathways to enter the hospital.

selinastchen

Jun 25, 2019

Writing Feedback / Comparing two maps showing a difference regarding road access to a city hospital [4]

the way to hospital in 2007 and 2010

The road access to the city hospital has been renewed due to the government's new regulation. Though the main roads remained unrepaired, we may see many changes among the map.

First, six bus stops, which used to locate at both sides of the Hospital Road, were removed and replaced by an organized bus station. Despite optimization to the public transportation, conditions private vehicles used to face were also under consideration. Linked with the bus station are two roundabouts, which were established in order to decline heavy traffic. In the other hand, the public car park was separated from the staff car park and newly built on the east side to the hospital, which provides both staff and citizens sufficient parking spaces as well as individual pathways to enter the hospital.