Writing Feedback / IELTs Writing Task 2 - would life be simpler with just few languages in the world? [4]

the value of language

In the modern world, some languages die out in every years. Some people think that our life will be easier if we do not have so many different languages in the world. I partly agree this opinion.

Students do not have to learn about many different languages if there are fewer languages. They can spend more time on their interesting subjects such as math, statistics and music. Students will have no pressure on learning many different languages because we are familiar with our native language and it is difficult to restart from a brand new grammar or vocabulary . Also, fewer languages in the world might be helpful to employees' efficiency. Employees would not be asked for enhancing their ability of multi-languages when they are out of work. They can also concentrate on their domain knowledge instead of learning another different languages.

On the other hand, several languages die out every years may cause some problems. Every languages have their own culture and history. People all over the world could learn some interesting details or historic stories from these languages. Some of they might fulfill with much wisdom advice and meaningful information. However, we could also have fun through these languages. For example, people can realize some historic fine art or words by different languages.

In conclusion, although I agree that our life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world, I believe that it is important for us to prevent some meaningful languages which are crowded with much historic stories and details.

Writing Feedback / Governments should focus on economic progress or other types of improvement are equally important? [3]

Many governments think the economic progress is their most important goal.

Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that governments should concern more on economic progress, but other people think that other types of improvement are equally important for a country.

On the one hand, economic progress is important because the public can earn more money when there is a significant growth on economy. Economic improvement might help companies to broaden their business and they would make more profit through this economic increasing. More profit means that people could earn more money or bonus from companies. Also, the demand of employee may increase while governments improve their economy. Companies need more employees when the business rises rapidly. As result, people do not worry about the unemployment and job satisfaction.

On the other hand, there are some important goals that governments should be concentrated on as well such as health, safety and education. Health issues are important to the public because people easily have health problems in this modern world, especially infants and the old people. It is important for governments to build a great health system for citizens because adults who earn money for their family may face more pressure if their parents or children are sick. In addition, safety of society is also important for a country. Governments improve the safety of society will cause the reduction of criminal rate, and it will make people more comfortable and satisfied in this country.

In conclusion, although the economic progress is really important, I think that governments should concern on other types of improvement such as health and safety as well.

(Just need some advice on my structure and grammar..)