Unanswered [10] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by TheMig
Joined: Oct 4, 2009
Last Post: Oct 7, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 6  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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TheMig   
Oct 6, 2009
Essays / a paragraph on my favorite dessert [8]

try describing it in a delicious manor i guess. Your best bet is probably to write about why you like it.
TheMig   
Oct 6, 2009
Undergraduate / The Latin word "Mores" figuratively represents the glue that holds me together [4]

hello here is my FSU essay i need help for my last paragraph i am drawing blank if you could throw some ideas or sentences at me it would be great. Also feel free to pick it apart thats why i posted it to try to make perfect. Sorry about the indentations it wont let me for some reason.

Although my existence has been a fairly short one, the road which I've traveled has allowed me to experience both adversity and prosperity. The taste of both failure and success has molded me into the well rounded individual I am today. The Latin words "Vires, Artes, and Mores" are all present in my constantly expanding personality. These qualities are the impetus behind my success both academically and socially.

The Latin word "Mores" figuratively represents the glue that holds me together, it is the foundation of my being. Growing up in a Christian home I was embedded with a strong sense of character and tradition. Through the teachings of god I learned right from wrong, and to have integrity in every aspect of my life. Attending Church was routine for my family, and I often spent hours servicing the community through various youth groups and charitable events that my church held. I specifically remember acting as the assistant basketball coach for an 8 year old team. I really cherished the experience because I was able to influence kids in a positive manor. Although I've grown more secular, the moral teachings I have obtained from church will forever remain a part of me.

In the early stages of my high school career the qualities that embody the word "Vires" were not always predominant. It wasn't until I witnessed the failings of those who I once called my friends, did I realize that excelling academically was the key to my success. I began to think intellectually rather than stereotypically, and got involved in my high school by joining various clubs and activities such as the environmental club. Through the environmental club I was able to participate in a program that enlightened my fellow students about recycling and the positive effects it has on our community. My physical strength allowed me to participate on the football team in which I learned the values of leadership, dedication, and teamwork. Although I have often made wrong decisions, these mistakes provided me with an education no school could offer. My father always told me "We are a product of our experiences."

In order for me to maintain an overall healthy consciousness I must be able to express myself thoroughly, it is through "Artes" or the arts that I do so. Creative writing, drawing, and reading, all act as vents for my creativity and stress. I have been blessed with the knowledge of brilliant people such as Ernest Hemingway, Fredrick Nietzsche, and many others just by reading their work. Although I mentioned my father's quote I do not completely agree. I believe I am not only the product of my experiences but of those exceptional human beings whose work have influenced me mentality, emotionally, and physically.

I know Florida State University is perfect for me: your education will enlighten me both as an intellectual, and as scholar. I am constantly striving and pushing myself to reach my full potential, and with FSU's guidance I'm sure I can obtain my goal. I am eager to participate on your campus, and apply the qualities that embody the words "Vires, Artes, Mores" in my college life.
TheMig   
Oct 6, 2009
Undergraduate / 'A minor electrical problem' - UCF Obstacle/Bump in the Road Essay [4]

i think it would be better if you Incorporated a little more struggle on a personal level like you just mentioned. I mean this essay would be perfect if your dad was applying to UCF but that isn't the case. I would try to relate it to yourself a little more, maybe find a topic that relates to school or your social life.
TheMig   
Oct 6, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Not settling for medicore any more' - UF ESSAY meaningful experience [7]

Your essay needs serious work, its really confusing. Re- read it a couple of times and smooth it out because this reads like you wrote it in 10 minutes. It has a lot of grammar issues, but stay on it because your topic is pretty good.

hyungjiny
I used to just settle for mediocre. I used to ignore the people who are better than me, but I boosted my confidence by thinking of those that are worse than me. I convinced myself that those who were better were just more committed or just naturally smarter and better than me.


i would suggest removing that part entirety because i literally laughed out loud when you said " but i boosted my confidence by thinking of those that are worse than me." it just sounds so wrong

also i asked why my essay for FSU kept getting deleted and they said that your Title post needs to be more specific
TheMig   
Oct 6, 2009
Faq, Help / Why is my topic / thread deleted? [78]

thank you ill make sure my next post title is more detailed, also just out of curiosity is it mandatory for every EF reply to be brutal and belittling. It doesn't particularly brother me but there are some people in this world who are sensitive.
TheMig   
Oct 6, 2009
Faq, Help / Why is my topic / thread deleted? [78]

why does this site hate me?

i keep posting my essay on FSU but it never shows up. It seems as if someone is deleting it, or maybe i am posting my work wrong. lol this whole situation is pretty odd all i want is some help with my essay. So if anyone can give me some information in regards to my problem i would really appreciate it thanks.
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