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Posts by Hanip Abdul
Name: Hanip Abdul
Joined: Dec 13, 2019
Last Post: Dec 16, 2019
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: Indonesia
School: English Studio School

Displayed posts: 4
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Hanip Abdul   
Dec 16, 2019
Writing Feedback / Water heating energy from the solar panels - explaining the whole process [2]

the map analysis



The process of how the solar powered water-heating system and how to choose the appropriate location throughout the solar panels is illustrated in the map.

Overall, the process is divided into two stages, the first stage is related to how to pick the optimal location and the second one is about how the process of solar powered water-heating system is going.

How the processes in unfold? The solar panels are sometimes mounted on the roof and face to the south with ideal angle to sun 90° as to easy to install and can be positioned to capture an optimal amount of energy from the sun. If the solar panels is put on the ceiling, they will be difficult to clean and maintenance actually, however, this position also brings a merit, which is more likely not be obstructed from the trees and nearby structures. On the other hand, if the solar panels are placed on the land-based, they will be easy to clean and maintenance but they may get more obstructions.

What is more? The process of solar powered water heating system is obviously complex, the solar panels absorb the sun to generate the direct current energy, and then the thermal fluid, also known as hot oil, a special heat transfer liquid, is controlled by a pump where its temperature is raised for use in heating the water. The cold water is commonly provided in the shape-liked tank, this space enable to accommodate the considerable amount water. Also, there is an aluminum pipe, namely heating coil, set up inside of the water tank, is used to direct the hot water. Eventually, the water can be set up in the hot or cold, either used for those who like drink in the taps or take a shower.



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Hanip Abdul   
Dec 16, 2019
Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Writing task 1, Three charts with average percentages in different types of nutrients [2]

You should write and paraphrase more simple and complex introduction, which can accommodate all the elements:
For example: the pie charts illustrate the proportion of three different types ... and added sugar in the various meals.

The chart ... demonstrate(s) that ...
..., but there are (is) a slight ...

When it comes to added sugar, it is crystal clear that ... for breakfast (majority people consume it mostly for snack rather than for breakfast). .

" I think you are still suffering of making compound and complex sentence, please open this website to help you more khan academy. and learn more about how to put your comparison sentence.
Hanip Abdul   
Dec 13, 2019
Writing Feedback / The table below shows the average user engagement for four social networking sites and the pie chart [3]

The table and pie chart analysis



The table reveals about the number of people prefer to spent their time and visit to four different social media per day, while the pie chart shows the segment of the market from those social networking site companies.

Overall, if it is compared to the table summarize in Instagram and Linkedin, also the profits from those companies, the percentage of people using Facebook and twitter in hours per day has by far the lowest, however, they show a significant proportion of people who visiting them per day and the considerable amount of companies' profits.

To begin with, although, Facebook and Twitter are noticed as the least social media using by people in hours per day, gaining 0,8 and 0,6 in subsequent, both of those networking sites are the most frequent platform that are visited by people per day at around 18,2 and 29,1 where Twitter can be recognized as the highest. Also, those social platform companies earn more substantial revenue than others, where Facebook receives income to around 50,25 % more than Twitter only about 19,96 %.

Whilst, the start-up social media companies, known as Instagram and Linkedin, gaining more people's interest in spending their time per day to around 1,4 and 1,7 subsequently. In contrast, If it is compared to the figure compiled from Facebook and Twitter, the average people visiting these platforms per day indicates less percentage, where Instagram is gaining bigger percentage with 16,6 than Linkedin with only 7,2. These results are more likely affected to the companies' profits performance, it can be seen from the pie chart that Instagram and Linkedin Companies receive only 18,45 % and 11,34 % in subsequent less than Facebook and Twitter.



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Hanip Abdul   
Dec 13, 2019
Writing Feedback / Visitors numbers to Ashdown Museum before and after its renovation [3]

Hey guys,
I'll try to give you some feedback related to your writing.

Your introduction covers all the elements related to those cited in the questions, so I would say that it is good intro.
Well, When it comes to your overview, I'd probably say it is quite good as well.
i can really easy read your essay without any map. se let me give you score based on the band descriptors.

Note :

... slumped to 15%, while ... (you need to put comma before while)

Task Achievement : 7
Coheren and Cohesion : 7
Lexical Recource : 7
Grammatical range and accuracy: 7
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