Posts by vanessazhang00

vanessazhang00

Apr 28, 2020

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 of IELTS: Customers at Three Restaurants [5]

I am preparing for IELTS, and it would be very kind of you to give me some feedbacks. Thanks for your reply

Customers at Three Restaurants

Given is the char that demonstrates the number of clients at three restaurants in five days.

Among all the restaurants, the amount of the people that have visited Tom's Diner was the least in the five-day period. In the first day, the customers of Mama's Café and Food Eats were five times and three times more than Tom's Diner respectively. Moreover, Mama's Café was the most popular one since day one. The number of the customers fell to 100 in the third day, but rose back up to the start point. In comparison, the business of Good Eats was more stable and grew gradually from 150 to 250 clients.

To sum up, the business of Ton's Diner is not doing very well in these five days comparing to the other two restaurants. The number of clients in the Good Eats is an upward trend while Mama's café had dropped and rose back.

vanessazhang00

Apr 28, 2020

Writing Feedback / Television advertising should be prohibited for young children. [4]

"They are too young to see ... and it could ..."

You should write a bit more about the general topic in the first paragraph.

vanessazhang00

Mar 13, 2020

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 of IELTS: UK TELEPHONE CALLS - the total number of minutes by three categories [3]

I am preparing for IELTS, so please give me some suggestion on my essay. Also, I would like to know which band I would get. Thanks for your reply!

UK telephone calls by category, 1995-2002

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone call in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

Given is the information that reveals the total amount of telephone calls in the UK over eight-year period, and it is divided into three types.

Among all kinds of phone calls, local fixed line is obviously the most popular one within eight years. It gradually grew from 70 billion to 90 billion minutes in five years, but it fell back steadily to 70 billion in 2002.

National and international fixed line and mobiles phone calls both increased during the past eight years. There was about 70 billion national and international fixed line calls in 1995, and it had risen to 60 by the end of the period. Meanwhile, the minutes of mobiles increased at a very rapid pace from approximately 4 to 55.

In brief, although the local telephone was still the most commonly used one from 1995 to 2002, it has slowly decreased over the years, while the mobiles call rose up dramatically.

vanessazhang00

Mar 13, 2020

Writing Feedback / UNIVERSITY EDUCATION SHOULD BE FREE TO EVERYONE, REGARDLESS OF INCOME. [4]

1. In the first paragraph, "students" should be singular.

2. In the end of second paragraph, it should be "pay the price".

3. In the third paragraph, I suppose what you are writing about was a possibility not reality, so the tone of the sentences should be adjusted a little:

Given that the school do not earn any profit from the tuition fees, the school board of managers could have a difficulty remunerating the teaching staff as well as the service workers, not to mention electricity and other facilities.

This eventually would lead to the degradation ...

4. In the last paragraph, it would be better to mention "students" directly instead of "they". I also change the last part for a bit:
This can be put down to two rationales: the responsibility of students to pay for their own pursuits and the possibility of lack of funding in institutions. In this case, ... a part-time job to ease the financial problem.