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Posts by kaisergod47
Name: Khoa Dang
Joined: Mar 20, 2020
Last Post: Aug 4, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Viet Nam
School: Tien Giang Highschool for the Gifted

Displayed posts: 5
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kaisergod47   
Aug 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / The line graph compares and contrasts data on the changes in the proportion of Australian export [3]

Hi, this is my writing. Thank all the contributors for commenting on my essay!

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012



The line graph compares and contrasts data on the changes in the proportion of Australian international exports to 4 distinctive countries over a 23-year period.

In general, while Japan and US tended to import less from Australia during the research timescale, figures for China and India registered an opposite trend. Another striking feature is that Australia export the least to India over the period.

A closer look into the graph reveals that Japan initially imported the most from Australia in 1990, with a percentage of approximately 26 percent. Its reading fell slightly until 2005, where it started fluctuating and ending up at around 18 percent in 2012. Similarly, readings of the US began at about 11 percent, then dropped marginally over 5 years, and in the remaining years it constituted nearly 7 percent of exports from Australian.

As regards China, although its percentage of Australian imports began at about 3 percent in 1990, its records rose significantly over time and reached its peak in 2012 at about 28 percent. The figure for India, however, remained the smallest throughout the period, starting in the vicinity of 1 percent and finishing at roughly 5 percent.

(193 words)



  • 18_07_2019_theperce.png
kaisergod47   
Aug 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 The table illustrates the number of technological researchers in the five countries [3]

Your essay is quite okay, however, I think there are some points to notice:
_ Some sentences need units (such as "Mexico, in 2003, was in the second place with 147 RESEARCHERS", "Starting with 103 PER MILLION in 2003, Moldova fluctuated dramatically", ...)
_ Wrong information ( " Togo had the same fluctuation. With 18 in 2003, the country reached its peak in 2003.", it REACHED ITS PEAK IN 2005, NOT 2003)
_ This sentence ("Just nearly 50 in 2003, it rose by more than 55% to 106 in the next four year.") should be written as ("STARTING AT just nearly 50 in 2003, it rose by more than 55% to 106 in the next four year.") so that it is grammatically correct.

In general, you did a great work. You should spend a few minutes reviewing your task for inaccurate information like the one above.
kaisergod47   
Jul 30, 2020
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, many high school graduates opt for a gap year instead of continuing higher education [5]

In general, I think your essay is quite good. However, there are some minor mistakes that need correcting:
_ Do not use abbreviation ( Let's -> Let us )
_ I think the phrase should be " especially students WHO want to study ...", so that it makes more sense.

_ Some of the words are repeated in the 2nd paragraph(students , advantage -> merit)
Anyway, you did a great job! Go on with the hard work and better your skills!
kaisergod47   
Mar 21, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages? [5]

Thanks so much for your feedback. To be honest, when I finished the task I feel quite confident of my writing. However, since this is the very first time I have received such a realistic response like this so I can figure it out that I still have much to improve. Maybe I focused so much on the vocabulary range that I made a lot of mistakes. I really appreciate your feedbacks. I will improve my next essay thanks to your suggestions. Thank you!
kaisergod47   
Mar 20, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages? [5]

escalation of tourism around the world



Over the past few decades, by virtue of highly-developed means of transport, there has an escalation of tourism around the world. This paradigm shift is often believed to have more merits than demerits. However, is this always the case? Does it really result in a better world for our human beings? Let's delve into the pros and cons of increased tourism.

To commence with, it is mandatory to take into consideration the upsides of this tendency. Firstly, supporters of international tourism would argue that the more opportunities people have to travel, the broader knowledge and experience they acquire. That is to say, they no longer have to depend on books and movies to watch the world, instead now they can genuinely experience the magnificence of our planet. In the second place, the tourism can attract a sheer volume of tourists from many places, contributing to the development of a nation's economy. By way of illustrations, a variety of local businesses, such as hotels, restaurants will benefit from the increasing number of foreign travelers. Also, more job opportunities will be created, which will help to solve the question of unemployment. Hence, many countries now are eagerly disseminating their own unique attractions.

These benefits, on the contrary, truly pale into insignificance when compared to the conundrums of this change. To begin with, as more and more people turn to travelling with reasonable prices, environmental problems triggered by transportation are inevitable. As a matter of fact, there has been significant degradation in air quality when an accelerating number of people opt for air travel. Furthermore, since most places of interest are constructed in the past and their quality could not meet today's standards, exploitation of these sites may result in damage or even destruction. This will heavily affect its nation's culture and history. Following by this, chances are that local living conditions and lifestyle are disturbed and the environment are degraded due to the fact that floods of travelers pour into the once serene places and bring in rubbish and noise.

All in all, albeit some obvious advantages of this trend, I would believe that these are outweighed by the disadvantages.
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