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The line graph compares and contrasts data on the changes in the proportion of Australian export

kaisergod47 2 / 3 2  
Aug 4, 2020   #1
Hi, this is my writing. Thank all the contributors for commenting on my essay!

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The line graph compares and contrasts data on the changes in the proportion of Australian international exports to 4 distinctive countries over a 23-year period.

In general, while Japan and US tended to import less from Australia during the research timescale, figures for China and India registered an opposite trend. Another striking feature is that Australia export the least to India over the period.

A closer look into the graph reveals that Japan initially imported the most from Australia in 1990, with a percentage of approximately 26 percent. Its reading fell slightly until 2005, where it started fluctuating and ending up at around 18 percent in 2012. Similarly, readings of the US began at about 11 percent, then dropped marginally over 5 years, and in the remaining years it constituted nearly 7 percent of exports from Australian.

As regards China, although its percentage of Australian imports began at about 3 percent in 1990, its records rose significantly over time and reached its peak in 2012 at about 28 percent. The figure for India, however, remained the smallest throughout the period, starting in the vicinity of 1 percent and finishing at roughly 5 percent.

(193 words)

Luna97 1 / 1  
Aug 4, 2020   #2
this is in the past so u should may use the past tense and the link between the sentences was quite good. nice try
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,881 3555  
Aug 4, 2020   #3
The summary overview should include the list of the countries involved. Remember, this is a summary of the report so the first paragraph should include all short form information from the graph. That includes the list of countries involved, the years indicated, and the trending statement. You have only a single sentence representing the summary overview. You should have 3-5 sentences in the summary overview to offer a complete shortened information paragraph. The trending statement should be combined with the summary overview.

Had you followed the proper summary overview format, you could have easily presented this essay in the standard 3 paragraph format that allows you to perform a better comparison discussion. It would have also prevented you from presenting run-on sentences in your paragraphs. The extra long sentences that do not present any additional punctuation marks aside from a comma means your paragraphs are not properly formatted. Try to use a proper balance of simple and complex sentences so that you can properly meet the formatting requirements.

Be on the lookout for the times when the lines in the graph meet. You should report those as overlapping information, indicating an approximate year reference. These types of additional details help you score under the "make comparisons where relevant" section of the prompt.

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