Posts by julialisboa [Suspended]

julialisboa

May 11, 2020

Letters / Motivation Letter - Stipendium Hungaricum Programme (Bachelor) [6]

Merged:

Design Engineering Scholarship Motivational Letter

Hello all!
This is my second attempt with the letter. My biggest doubt at the moment is: is the relation between my desire for a Design Engineering degree and my goal of working with it at the medical field clear? Will the board be "lost" about this connection?

As english is not my native language, any input is very welcome. Thanks for the help!
_______________

~~Dear xxxx,~~

I hope this letter finds you well. I write in order to present myself as a candidate of the Scholarship Programme, aiming towards the Industrial Product Design Engineering Bachelor degree at the Óbuda University.

Despite being quite young, I have over 12 years of experience in design-related activities, including a three-year Associate degree in Multimedia Production. As of professional experience, I worked in many positions, ranging between editorial designer, leading photographer and ultimately as Photo Laboratory Technical Manager, which gave me, as well, a background in mechanics. All of those roles took places in high standard companies, such as MSC Cruises and HarperCollins Publishers.

The one thing in the world that amazes me the most is the human brain and the ways it works. In the past, I was able to study Psychology and Neuroscience at UFRJ, and a brief internship as an educational agent in a Rehabilitation Facility allowed me to see and experiment with how art moves us, and shapes us into who we are. Therefore, Industrial Product Design Engineering course offered has got all the technical and creative basis needed to empower my development and would be a big step into acquiring the skills I need to fulfil my biggest, both personal and professional, goal: research, create and project tools and facilitators for medical treatments, mainly regarding psychological and neurological health.

After spending a few years working across the world, I choose Hungary and Óbuda University for having not only an incredibly rich culture and solid academic system and history, but also for providing a powerful and diverse environment for it's students and citizens. I've always seen the opportunity of exchanging knowledge as something priceless - more than "just taking" from the opportunity, and I believe and see Hungary as an open country, where I'd be able to absorb different cultures, as well as learn and exchange knowledge.

Thank you for taking your time to read this letter and considering my candidacy for the scholarship. As my favourite writer, Jack Kerouac, once said: "Something good will come of all things yet".

Kind regards

julialisboa

May 11, 2020

Writing Feedback / The two maps represent some changes that were made on the island for tourism purposes. [4]

You did describe the map, but, for the essay purpose, it should have been in a more technical or "informative" manner, other than an opinionating one. Opinions can be found in many lines, as mentioned on other commentary.

Just attain the writting to the information visible on the map, without inferring any other ideas or info in order to try make it more complex or deep.

julialisboa

May 11, 2020

Student Talk / How to enhance my English? [52]

My suggestion is READ, READ, READ. I learned everything by myself, mainly playing videogames with lots of texts to it (such as Resident Evil 1, or other visual novels).

I did that all before reading too much into grammar, so I could feel what's wrong or right instead of just learning the rules and not knowing how they work or how to identify them.

julialisboa

May 11, 2020

Writing Feedback / Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable [7]

The essay is very short and poorly formatted, as already mentioned by a few colleagues. It's visually unappealing, whit it's loose lines and spaces before punctuation.

The conclusion is very shallow, and should not presente sections as "reason i can think about".

julialisboa

May 11, 2020

Letters / Motivation Letter - Stipendium Hungaricum Programme (Bachelor) [6]

@Holt @lanlan thanks for your inputs, I apreciate them greatly.
You are completely right - this is far from a motivational letter.
The standards are completely different from my country, and I should have looked deeper into it, even though there were no instructions within the scholarship material.

I am writting a... decent one haha
Thank you!

julialisboa

May 10, 2020

Letters / Motivation Letter - Stipendium Hungaricum Programme (Bachelor) [6]

reasons that brought me apply for this scholarship

I hope this letter finds you well. I write to you in order to share my story and the reasons that brought me apply to the Stipendium Hungaricum Programme, as well as the skills and aptitudes I can bring to Hungary and the Óbuda University.

I've always been curious and hardworking - when I was about 12, I started to investigate into many aspects of design, most of the time, I'd use Photoshop to make layouts, and then code them by hand, using just the notepad app and many HTML guides in magazines I'd get from my mom's work. That curiosity helped me passing State exams for a Advanced Education Centre, that offered a three year technical specialization along with the regular High School programme. The specialization options were Creative Writing, Audiovisual and Game-Orientated Programming. As I could not choose, I took all of them on the first year, and successfully acted as a "bridge" between the three departments on the two subsequent years, helping to coordinate study groups and integrated projects, such as interactive movies and other applications. After graduating, I took the national university access exam, getting accepted at our biggest Federal University, Universidade Federal do Rio de Janeiro - UFRJ.

My family's life has always been hard - my mom, an elementary teacher, provided alone for us (me, three sisters and my dad, who had to leave his job due to the lack of kindergartens). I started freelancing during High School to help and, by the time I was first accepted at UFRJ for a bachelor degree, I had to put it aside and get a full time job.

In the following years, I kept taking the exams, and was approved to three different bachelor programmes (Library science, nursing, and mortuary sciences) in State and National institutes, never being able to attend due to my working hours. Working from late morning till the night, I was able to get a technical degree in Interior Design and study many other subjects online.

Finally, I got a job at the City Hall, which gave me flexible hours, so that I was accepted and able to attend a Psychology and Neuroscience bachelor at a State University. I had an amazing freshman year, during my sophomore our country went into a big economic crisis and, once more, I had to leave my studies. Still, I was not to give up and, after a lengthy process, I got a job as Photographer and lecturer onboard a cruise ship. I spent three whole years working, falling in love with the world and studying in all my free time.

During three years onboard ships, I worked my way up to Laboratory Technical Manager and met many people. One of them plays a big part on my decision: her name is Andrea Nagy and with her learned many things about Hungary. Amazed by all of it, I did many researches and came to a plan: on December 5th I stole one of her shoes, filled it up with all the candies I had, and left a "happy Mikulás" note with it, so she would feel at home even though we were miles away. Naggles, as we called her, came down in tears, saying that this was her best Christmas ever. That was when it hit me how beautiful, special and singular the hungarian culture and traditions are, and how I wanted to live and to know more of it.

As of 2020, with a better government and economic practices in place, I saved enough money to come home and finally get back on tracks.
Today, I write you this letter completely assured that the programme I apply for, Industrial Product Design Engineering, will be a great step towards my biggest goals in life: be able to give my family a better life, get higher formal education and someday be able to bring my design and gaming experience to the health field, helping on the creation of tools and facilitators for medical treatments, mainly regarding psychological and neurological health. And, of course, nothing would make me happier than having the opportunity of ticking those boxes while calling Hungary home.

Life presented me with many obstacles but nothing was ever enough to stop me, I always find strength, courage and persistence to keep moving forward. Thank you for taking your time to read this letter and considering my candidacy for the scholarship. As my favourite writer, Jack Kerouac, once said: "Something good will come of all things yet".

Again, thank you.

Kind regards,