Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: how the water passes from the ocean to land through a natural process called 'water cycle' [2]

Please help me in my writing task 1

Water cycle

The diagram illustrates how the water passes from the ocean to land through a natural process called 'water cycle'

It is noticable that there are 3 main stages in this process, beginning with the evaporation of water and ending with the water's journey back to the ocean again.

In the first step, the water evaporate at a result of the sunshine. It is estimate that water from the ocean take about eighty percent total water vapor in air. After the evaporation, clouds are formed by the condensing of water vapor.

Clouds are then heavier and cause rain in land. They also cause snow in higher area. This rainwater partly pours into lakes or flows back to the ocean via 'surface runoff'. Another part of water from precipitation absorbs into the ground and return to the ocean. Finally, salt water intrustes just before groundwater reach the ocean and then the process finishes.

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  water cycle
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 1: Lifespan of salmon [4]

Life cycle of salmon

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of a large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The given diagram explains the lifespan of salmon.
Overall, there are totally four different stages in salmon's life, starting with eggs and continuing until they reach adult size.
At the beginning of the cycle, adult salmons lay a massive number of eggs in the upper river where the water flow is slow. The eggs are hidden under reed and small stones for about five to eight months until they hatch into baby salmons termed "fry" and measure three to eight centimetres in length. For approximately the next four years, these baby fish live in the lower and faster-moving water of the river.

When the salmons reach 12 to 15 centimetres long, they turn into a new stage called 'smolt'. At this time, they begin to migrant to the open sea where they spend about five years living. During this time, smolts grow quickly in size and reach 70 to 75 centimetres long to be called adult salmon. Finally, the adults swim upstream to reach the upper river where they reproduce a new generation and then the life cycle start again.

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  Life cycle of salmon