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Posts by yenmy
Name: Dương Yến My
Joined: Jul 13, 2020
Last Post: Jul 14, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
Likes: 1
From: Viet Nam
School: FTU

Displayed posts: 4
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yenmy   
Jul 14, 2020
Writing Feedback / Music is widely perceived to have the power to unite and connect humans [3]

IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Music



Topic: Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Music is widely perceived to have the power to unite and connect humans, irrespective of their cultural backgrounds and ages. I am, personally, in complete agreement with that notion.

In the first place, music could transcend cultural boundaries. Such a universal language is it that music could be absorbed by individuals from all four corners of the world. Furthermore, recent researches have indicated that the rhythm helps coordinate and synchronize the audience's body movements. As a result, a sense of group identity is created. For instance, a number of songs which are not written in the lingua franca, such as Despacito with Latin lyrics or Gangnam Style in Korean, have still taken the global entertainment industry by storm. Therefore, fans across continents are connected.

In addition, music has the capability of connecting generations. Despite the generation gap, the shared feelings among the listeners act as the social glue that augments social relationships. That is the underlying reason why a work of art like Happy Birthday song appears to evoke joyful reactions in both the young and the elderly. Also, in the coronavirus pandemic, various music marathons are organized in order to support frontline healthcare workers, first responders and convey messages of solidarity. Those virtual concerts were not only successful fundraising telethons but also the potent social glue. Hardly has any art form been able to be as a powerful unifier as music.

In conclusion, I believe that music has the unique capacity of bringing about social closeness, regardless of individual cultures and ages.

(Thank you for your comments)
yenmy   
Jul 14, 2020
Writing Feedback / Living in a big city or staying a village [3]

Hi!
"makes the lifestyle in a city ..." should be "make the lifestyle in the cities and in the villages obviously different".

Also, you can replace the word "city" by "urban area", "metropolitan city", and use "rural area", "countryside" instead of repeating "village".
Hope this help.
yenmy   
Jul 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: COFFEE AND TEA BUYING AND DRINKING HABITS IN FIVE CITIES IN AUSTRALIA [2]

consumption of coffee and tea and beverage



The bar chart indicates the consumption of coffee and tea and beverage preferences in five cities in Australia, namely Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart.

Regarding cafe visits, Melbourne has the highest proportion of dwellers having gone to a cafe for coffee or tea in the last four weeks, with approximately 64%, followed by Hobart (63%) and Sydney (61%). More than half of respondents in Brisbane reported recent cafe visits, while the lowest figure is for Adelaide at under 50%.

In terms of the purchase of the two types of coffee, instant coffee is favored over the fresh one. The majority of residents (54%) bought instant coffee in last month in Hobart. Brisbane, Adelaide, and Melbourne have roughly 53%, 50% and 48% respectively, whereas only about one in four of those surveyed in Sydney responded doing so. By contrast, Sydney has the largest percentage of residents having bought instant coffee last month with 44%. Melbourne, the second largest, has 42%, followed by Hobart with 8% lower. Equivalent statistics are seen in Brisbane and Adelaide with more than a third.

In summary, the illustration suggests that there is a positive correlation between the proportion of inhabitants going to a coffee shop and the proportion of fresh as well as instant coffee consumed.

(Thank you for your feedback in advance.)




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