Writing Feedback / A new job; formal qualifications more important than life experience or personal qualities? [3]

Hello, I'm preparing for my upcoming ielts exam which will take place in one month so I really appreciate your time spent reading and giving feedback to my essay. If possible, could you please give me a band score on my writing. My aim is band 7.0. Am i eligible for it?

Work topic [IELTS writing task 2]

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

In this day and age, recognized qualifications take priority over first-hand experience and personal traits. This tendency, which is caused by a plethora of reasons, is totally negative.

The employers' preference for excellent academic credentials lies in their belief in the education system. This is due to the fact that academic institutions are deemed to be the most reliable place equipping students with in-depth knowledge about their field. After years of schooling, graduates could apply the knowledge acquired into the workplace. Moreover, degrees with honors are often tangible proof of the candidate's diligence and perseverance as it is a real effort to get these degrees.

From my perspective, the recruitment entirely based on postgraduate qualification causes a host of drawbacks. Firstly, universities merely offer theoretical lessons with little or no hands-on experience. Therefore, these students are inflexible and unable to handle with real life obstacles. As a result, the company will suffer since it has to spend a huge sum of money on training newcomers from scratch which can be saved if candidates with years of working are appointed. Secondly, personal virtues should also be considered as essential selection criteria when interviewing job seekers. Managing a group of disloyal and unreliable subordinates, for example, is a touch challenge for administrators.

In conclusion, I argue that apart from qualifications, other measures such as interpersonal skills and the manner at work are integral judgments for the employee-to-be's ability. Therefore, it is recommended that undergraduates should hone their prowess by participating in extra-curriculum activities.

(approximately 260w)
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Thanks so much!!!!

Writing Feedback / Nowadays, many high school graduates opt for a gap year instead of continuing higher education [5]

advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Nowadays, many high school graduates opt for a gap year instead of continuing higher education right away. For many, a year off offers them more time to prepare for university and find the suitable field they want to pursue. However, others argue that a year out may result in being left behind and is a waste of time. In this essay, I will discuss the opportunities it offers as well as challenges students have to face with.

Let's start by looking at the advantage of a drop year. One of the main benefits graduates gain from a gap year is that they have more time to make thorough preparation for university, especially students want to study abroad and hunt for scholarship. They can spend a year long participating in community projects, taking international certificates and improving their CVs and essay. In fact, many students taking a gap year have been awarded a full-ride scholarship. Another significant advantage is that when taking a break from school, a teenager can broaden his/her real-life experience; therefore, they know what career is apt for themselves and are able to make the most suitable choice for the field they want to pursue in college, compared to many who don't know what to study in university and just pick one randomly.

Turning to the other side of the argument, one of the biggest obstacles to be overcome is being left behind and starting later. In many cases, the students taking a gap year may still study at campus while their peers have already got a job or promotion. Another major drawback is that a spare year may become a waste year if we don't meticulously plan work beforehand which can result in profound regret later on. Therefore, it becomes harder to continue studying or get a job if you don't attend any special activities or sharpen your skills during the year.

In conclusion, while it is very wonderful to have a year off after having studied for 12 years successively, this time can also pose considerable risks if we are not ready for it.