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Posts by minhthptbg [Suspended]
Name: Minh
Joined: Aug 3, 2020
Last Post: Aug 5, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: Viet Nam
School: Binh Giang

Displayed posts: 4
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minhthptbg   
Aug 5, 2020
Writing Feedback / Due to unemployment should students learn the work skills instead of studying? [4]

In certain countries, unemployment is so high that some have suggested children should stop their education after primary school to learn skills necessary to join the workforce.

Do you agree or disagree?



In some countries with high joblessness, there is a common assertion that children's giving priority to learn essential skills to meet the demand of labor market after their elementary level is of paramout importance. However, I personally disagree with this suggestion and this essay will shed the light on justification why I am not in favor of it.

To embark on, it is undisputable that abolishing children's access to upper academic programme leads to the significant shortage of fundamental knowledge and intensive expertise which prevent them from satisfying the speciality of their future job . For example, if you wish to apply for the post as an accountant, you have to cultivate relavant job skills regarding the ability to analyse financial data, the comprehension of Computer Science and the impressive command of English language which are significantly attributed to formal schooling .Additionally thanks to high-level education, you are assured to attain quality qualifications which are considered to be chief determinant that the employers are inclined to assess whether you are qualifed to work or not.

Futhermore, schooling system offers students subjects like sports and music which are regarded as indispensable soft skills . While they may not be directly useful in securing employment, they indirectly make a candidate more employable. Apart from technical expertise, firms currently attach greater attention to credentials such as adaptability, originality and communication skills and to some extent they are ground-breaking elements which makes you superior to other candidates . These attributes are likely to be attained in experiences like playing sports and music. Hence, attending school after primary level is terribly justifiable due to its potential to make people's employability higher and higher.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that stopping children's education after primary school does not improve the uneployment rate , however, it even worsen the situation .
minhthptbg   
Aug 3, 2020
Writing Feedback / The long term bond with an employer [3]

I think there are several mistakes in your essay regarding grammar. 'Help sb do sth or help sb to do sth" so the phrase:' helps us improving to higher standard' is wrong
minhthptbg   
Aug 3, 2020
Writing Feedback / Many countries are struggling with increases in crime rates [4]

More police to lower the crime?



Task2: Many countries are struggling with increases in crime rates and some think that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Recently, it is true that criminal rate has been becoming increasingly prominent in a large number of nations , as a result, allocating more police publicly is believed to be an effective method. While I agree that this policy gain the advantages in some ways, I also concur that other approaches should be adopted.

At the outset, there are a number of compelling reasons that why having more police is remarkably advocated. The very first reason is that the presence of police on the streets keeps the public security stable. That the offenders commit crimes can be attributed to the lack of cautious surveilance.Thus, by proliferating the quantity of police officers, illegal activities are likely to be prevented. Secondly, fear of increasing crimes among citizens has emerged as common concerns in countries for ages, so the need for more cops to carry on the fight against threaten crimes is apparent. Futhermore,it also creates a sense of safety for society as the risks of crimes tend to be reported instantly especially in case the police offices are too far to make a statement.

Apart from the argument mentioned above, I am of the opinion that other measures to diminish crime proportion should be implemented. As the crimes are increasing rapidly, urgent actions are required. One of the most effective policy is to enact more rigorous legislation. A prolonged jail sentence, for example, would prevent criminals from committing crimes as they would avoid serving that sentence at all cost.Simultaneously, utilizing government coffers on educational reforms should be taken into account since the inadequacy of basic education leads to the growth of crimes. Poor education is likely to put a restriction on employment opportunities which causes people to offend against law so as to get money for their survival. Hence, upgrading academic systems is worth being considered by government.

In summary, while the benefits of adding more police make it seem like a good idea, I believe that there are variety of more different ways to deal with this situation.
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