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Posts by amy322
Name: tsaihe yang
Joined: Aug 11, 2020
Last Post: Aug 23, 2020
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  
Likes: 3
From: Taiwan

Displayed posts: 7
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amy322   
Aug 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing TASK 2 (Cambridge 4): Happiness factors [3]

Topic:
Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?

What factors are important in achieving happiness?



Give reasons for your answer and include examples from you own knowledge or experience.

Everyone is eager to find happiness in our lives, and we started to view happiness as a goal. However, it is hard to define what is happiness and different reasons can make us feel happiness.

There are several reasons why it is hard to explain happiness. Everyone has their own definition, some may say happiness is getting rich, having tremendous power, or simply just having a nice meal. Nevertheless, people are not easy to be satisfied, we keep wanting more. We often think when we reach specific points we will find happiness, but most of the time we find it is difficult to say that we are happy and satisfied. Therefore, I believe happiness is so hard to define because everyone holds various views, which are changing all the time.

In my opinion, I define happiness as a state of mind that we need to feel rather than to reach it. There are three main factors to achieve happiness. Firstly, I suggest the most important thing is our wellbeing of body and mind since these are what matter us the most. Secondly, being appreciated is a very essential skill in order to feel happiness, for the reason that once we learn to appreciate, we started to love and thank things around us. For example, I remember when I first started to think in an appreciated way, I felt grateful and joy for even the trifles in my life. Finally, sharing our love and appreciations to others will let us give what we received back to society, and I believe it is the most effective way to make us feel a sense of fulfillment.

In conclusion, although happiness has diverse definitions, there are certain ways to feel happiness.
amy322   
Aug 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: Boarding schools are excellent for children, according to some people's opinion [7]

Just some confusions and suggestions:
Make sure it's "dependent" or "independent" that you want to use in the second and third paragraph.

The fourth sentence in the third paragraph: Another issue...the child...and be unable to....
-I think you need to use "is" as the verb (since the subject is child) instead of "be"

Not sure why using "being" in the last sentence of the third paragraph, I suggest you simply use be.

The last sentence in the final paragraph is also confusing: Since parents...their child...be around them...ensure that they....
- since you use them and they, the subject should be children. Otherwise, it would be confused if "they" refers to parents.
amy322   
Aug 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2 topic: connection of news to people's life [3]

Just few suggestions:

The last sentence of the second paragraph: Not only...but they also more....
-I think the later part of the sentence miss a verb: but they (news readers) also have more....

The first sentence of the third paragraph: an extra space before the period.
amy322   
Aug 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing TASK 1 (Cambridge 4): daily demand and uses of electricity in England [4]

Topic:

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer.
The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.


Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.



My essay:

The line graph compares the daily amount of electricity was used in winter and in summer of England, and the pie chart illustrates how four different uses of electric power are used in a typical English home. The pie chart illustrates how electricity power was used for four different ways in a typical English home.

It is clear that more power was used in winter than in summer. The electricity used for heating rooms and water is the highest among all of the four categories. The daily electricity demand for winter, about 30,000 to 45,000 units, is approximately twice as that for summer, which is between 10,000 and 20,000 units.

According to the line graph, in winter, English uses the most power, reaching over 40,000 units, on 22nd hour. While in summer, the line reaches its peak barely at 20,000 units, which is on its 14th hours. However, the lowest units for winter are slightly over 30,000 units and for summer are about 14,000 units, and both of them fall on similar hours, 8th and 9th respectively.

Looking at the pie chart, in an average English home, we can see that they used over half of the electricity, 52.5%, on heating rooms and water. The other uses are all for electrical devices, 17.5% of power using are for kitchen facilities, such as ovens, kettles, and washing machines, and 15% for each of the other two categories: lighting, TV, and radio, and vacuum cleaners, food mixers, and electric tools.



  • line graph

  • pie chart
amy322   
Aug 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / Equal funding for students' sports activities and libraries. [4]

just two suggestions:

- I usually play volleyballafter school because it helps me to refresh my mind and to be more energetic.
(not sure if afterschool is a vocabulary, adding "to" makes the sentence more balance and clear)
amy322   
Aug 11, 2020
Writing Feedback / Various methods to get information - which are the most effective? [3]

IELTS WRITING TASK 2 (Cambridge 4)



Topic:

Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as
media for communicating information. State which you consider to be the
most effective.
>comics
>books
>radio
>television
>film
>theatre

My essay:

It is true that we have many various methods to get information nowadays. However, there are pros and cons in each way of receiving information.

We can watch television and films or listen to the radio in order to get information, or simply just for entertainment. Watching television, I believe, is the most effective way to learn new information. Television programs are usually played within a short period of time and mostly with pictures or videos, so that viewers can understand better. While due to the short broadcasting time of television programs, some producers may ignore other important information of the whole story. In this way, they might mislead viewers to a different opinion.

The second most effective way of accessing information is through radio. The reasons why I suggest this is that we listen to the radio while we are driving, cooking, or showering. It is definitely the easiest method to receive information. Since it is only giving audio information, it is hard to imagine sometimes. From my perspective, watching films is the least effective way, compared to the previous two methods. People need to spare a longer time, cost more energy, and pay better attention in order to watch a film; therefore, people do not watch films as often as they watch television, or listen to the radio. Nevertheless, films can carry out a huge amount of information and can be the most memorable one for the viewers.

In conclusion, I believe that among all the methods of receiving information, watching television is the most effective one, following by listening to the radio and watching films.
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