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Posts by RAJVEERSODHI
Name: Rajveer Sodhi
Joined: Jan 4, 2021
Last Post: Jan 21, 2021
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
Likes: 4
From: India
School: Heritage Xperiential Learning School

Displayed posts: 7
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RAJVEERSODHI   
Jan 21, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS: People in big cities are facing many health challenges due to a high level of air pollution [4]

Hi! Your essay seems well written and shows a respectable grip on the language. However, there are a few instances where you falter.

For example, I believe you mean "controversial and serious" instead of "controversially serious". Similarly, in the same sentence, "affected" should follow "significantly", instead of how you've written it. In the first sentence of the second paragraph, change "private traffic transportation means in big cities, such as, motorbikes, cars, etc," to "private vehicles such as motorbikes and cars". Instead of "that dispose" in the same sentence, you should have used "that disposes", because the subject of the question is the (singular) increase of vehicles and not the (multiple) vehicles themselves. There are several more examples which I suggest you fix - free services like grammar would help you get a grasp on the same.

In terms of content, I think your essay is well structured and has satisfying, although not impressive, content. I would suggest adding in a fact or statistic about the causes of air pollution in the second paragraph to make it more interesting. Remember, you would not be marked negatively if the fact/statistic in question is made up.

I wish you the best of luck!
RAJVEERSODHI   
Jan 19, 2021
Undergraduate / My education - Trinity College Supplemental Essay: How would you contribute? [3]

Trinity contribution



Our mission states: "Engage. Connect. Transform. As the preeminent liberal arts college in an urban setting, Trinity College prepares students to be bold, independent thinkers who lead transformative lives." Keeping the three pillars of the mission in mind, how do you see yourself contributing to the Trinity community? (650 words)

Having grown up in a Sikh family, I have always been preached philanthropic values. That is why, participating in community service has been a significant part of my story. From serving langar at gurudwaras to volunteering at NGOs, the scale of the problem may be small, yet my urge to solve it is always humongous.

More often than not, I find that solutions to such problems can be found amongst the practical applications of the array of disciplines taught at school. Using my academic knowledge outside my school not only helps me propagate social welfare but also deepens my understanding of the subject itself. One such instance was when I collaborated with my friends to supply electrical power to rural schools in our locality. To achieve this, I relied on the concepts of piezoelectricity or other miscellaneous scientific principles to build and deploy piezoelectric floormats.

In the same light, at Trinity College, I intend to pursue a liberal arts education in its true sense, wherein I develop critical interdisciplinary skills that would enhance my toolset for helping the community. Apart from majoring in Computer Science, I would like to explore majors in Philosophy and Psychology which, I believe, would make me a more holistic person with a deeper understanding of people's mindsets. This would ultimately allow me to maintain a compassionate and nurturing environment for those around me. Trinity's mission - "Engage. Connect. Transform." - embodies ideals of independent thought, innovation, and humanitarianism. It would foster my pursuits and enable me to help my community in an unprecedented and robust manner.

The college's myriad endeavours in social welfare and interdisciplinary guidance would better help me engage with it and recognize issues. I am enthralled at the prospect of being able to combine my passion for philanthropy with my love for computer science by pursuing undergraduate research through the renowned Summer Research Program. I am vastly interested in the field of artificial intelligence, and its usage to recognize symptoms of medical maladies or industrial disasters.

Moreover, at Trinity - surrounded by people with a prominent social conscience - I look forward to learning from and adding to the potpourri of diverse experiences across cultures and academic disciplines. It is the cross-fertilization of such opinions that shines a light on the future and enables critical thinking. Trinity would hence provide an environment where I can form deep connections, get inspired and inspire others, question my beliefs, venture outside my comfort zone, and aid my peers through their intellectual curiosities with complete support. Through this process, I would come out of Trinity a much better person.

Additionally, I am excited to transform the outcomes of organizations or projects I participate in through the S.A.I.L Office with my individual ideas. By integrating my academic learnings, I believe I can bring a more humane and compassionate perspective to such projects, as well as amplify their achievements. Principles of IT can increase the outreach and efficiency of organizations like Green Campus and Habitat for Humanity. Furthermore, integrating virtual interfaces could produce wonderful results in ConnectiKids. They would also open up the opportunity to systematically promote positive values through their education, enriching them not just as students but as human beings.

Using the numerous opportunities Trinity would provide me to use my education for the betterment of the world is when, I believe, my education would truly begin. I, therefore, aim to not only transform the world but also myself - as a scholar, a friend, and a responsible philanthropist. I hope to develop the skills and patience to not just produce independent thoughts but also transform them into meaningful and lasting action.
RAJVEERSODHI   
Jan 15, 2021
Undergraduate / UBC PERSONAL PROFILE, WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU AND WHY? "Effort" [3]

Hi! I believe you have written a highly impressive response which is sure to reflect well on your application. However, I do have some feedback.

This might be a personal opinion of mine, but the story felt very generic to me. While the idea you are trying to put across is top-notch, this feels very vaguely written and almost doesn't convince me that you haven't made it up just to show you're hardworking. If I were you, I would try to add more details a few more details to the story, make your change of heart, so to say, seem more passionate, and describe how exactly you 'worked hard'. By that, I mean you should mention any techniques you used, your thought processes, or just any other details to that part to make it seem more 'full'. Simply saying that you decided to work hard isn't too compelling.

Additionally, I would also recommend improving your conclusion a bit. You did a good job mentioning that you promised yourself to maintain your standards of studying, but it would be nicer if you add a line about you actually following through on that promise. As in, talk about how you did, in fact, put in effort into your subsequent exams, and to gratifying fruition.

I hope my feedback was helpful, and I wish you the best of luck ahead! Feel free to follow up on my comment if you have anything to ask, I'd love to help out as much as possible.
RAJVEERSODHI   
Jan 9, 2021
Writing Feedback / Task 2 - what children watch influences their behaviors or it is the amount of time they spend. [4]

Your essay is well written, but it fails to show expertise in English. To start with, you could improve your sentence structures. I feel you are able to put your point across but not very efficiently. Try to use more concise, less repetitive sentences. Your third paragraph, for example, seemed to be a notable victim of this. Using slightly more complex and varied vocabulary would also help show your grasp on the language. The usage of phrases or proverbs, if applicable, would have the same effect.

Secondly, you could make your essay more compelling to read. The beginning of the essay is often recommended to be made exciting or gripping. Yours, unfortunately, does not produce that effect. You could use a proverb, an exclamation, or even an interesting fact. Moreover, adding certain statistics from studies could also go a long way in driving your point home. Remember, IELTS does not care whether or not your facts/statistics are real. They may very well be made up.

Finally, you could also give a brief as to why you feel the amount spent watching TV is not as important. This would help answer your prompt more holistically, allowing you to both acknowledge and subsequently counter to the general opinion of the time spent being significant. Adding a sort of solution, say, parents promoting educational content on TV, would also make your essay seem well-rounded.

I hope this was helpful, and I wish you the best of luck!
RAJVEERSODHI   
Jan 8, 2021
Undergraduate / Lafayette College: What do you do? Why do you do it? // Watch movies to understand psychology. [3]

There's a difference between being busy and being engaged.


Lafayette comes alive each day with the energy of students who are deeply engaged in their academic, co-curricular and extracurricular explorations. In response to the prompt below, keep it simple - choose one activity and add depth to our understanding of your involvement. What do you do? Why do you do it? (20-200 words)

(I haven't shortened mine to 200 yet, it's 342 as of now)


I have been drawn to films for nearly as long as I can remember. As a child, I used to be enamoured by the vibrant colours of Monsters University and the immersive sound effects of The Avengers. As I grew older, ever captivated by cinema, I started fiding a much larger significance in movies than entertainment.

Eventually, I realized that movies are a reflection of our reality - a testament to the vast, complex, and exciting world we live in. I stopped viewing movie characters as fictional, but living, breathing people. Hence, I learn realms about psychology, human connection, and its impact when I see Charlie writing anonymous letters in The Perks of Being a Wallflower or Ved being nonsensical in Tamasha. Further, protagonists with peculiar or similar intellectual curiosities as mine particularly intrigue me, as I can trace their journeys to understand where his/her ideologies lead him/her, or how he/she build upon them. I study their experiences and learnings so I can subsequently apply them to my own life.

Moreover, characters often perform menial activities in films which eventually prove to be incredibly meaningful in their story. This helps me give meaning to my own tasks and makes me appreciate the tasks and the people in my life. I now find myself enthralled to engage in more activities.

My enamour with motion pictures aligns with my interest in behavioural psychology. I am determined to understand human nature and the origins of people's mindsets. In the same light, I wish to explore minors in Psychology and Philosophy at Lafayette College. Such academic pursuits would enhance my toolset for understanding people, and in turn, enable me to analyse movie characters more deeply. As a young Sikh, I have been subject to frequent ridicule for my turban. In my adolescence, those experiences have manifested in me a strong sense of compassion and regard for a nurturing environment. Hence, through my minor studies and passion to decode human behaviour, I ultimately aspire to maintain a positive and enriching environment for those around me.
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