Posts by tung126 [Suspended]

tung126

Jun 26, 2023

Writing Feedback / TASK 2 : Some university want to learn another subjects in addition to their main subjects, believes [4]

Try getting your topic sentence (the first sentences in 2 body paragraphs) concise.

Great work btw!

tung126

Apr 28, 2021

Writing Feedback / The bar graph illustrates the change of sales of three entertainment categories worldwide [2]

IELTS Writing Task 1: Bar chart - global sales

The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video.

The bar graph illustrates the change of sales of 3 entertainment categories worldwide in billion dollars from 2000 to 2003.

Overall, it is obvious that all three types fluctuated over the period. Both games software and DVD/video saw an upward trend while the opposite was true for CDs.

In 2000, the sales of games software were about 15 billion dollars, whereas the DVD/video's was about 19 billion dollars. Both were progressively increased over 3 years with the domination of DVD/video over games software over 3 years before standing at slightly over 30 billion dollars and approximately 19 billion dollars in 2003 as the aforementioned order.

Starting at around 35 billion dollars, the sales of CDs dropped gradually at the beginning of the period, down to over 30 billion dollars in 2002 before stabilizing for a year.

Thank you for the feedback!

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tung126

Apr 28, 2021

Writing Feedback / Proportion of water used for agriculture - writing task 1 test 1 in cam ielts practice [3]

Remember to post your thread with an image next time. The lack of image makes us difficult to give you useful feedback
Also, your thread only 3 paragraphs, you should separate the introduction and overview and provide more detail on the 2 body paragraphs
Hope i can help

tung126

Apr 15, 2021

Writing Feedback / The maps below show the development of a particular area from 1965 to the present day [3]

Your overview may causes reader confusion, as you describe specifically. The amount of information of the last two paragraphs did not provided properly, so you to should bring some description in the third pragraph to the last one.

tung126

Apr 14, 2021

Writing Feedback / The change in percentage of the population - IELTS Writing Task 1: Table [2]

Proportion of senior citizens in three societies

The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries.

The given table illustrates the change of proportion of over-65 age population in Canada, Germany, and the UK from 1988, also the prediction in 2030.

Overall, it is obvious that all three countries experienced an upward trend in the population percentage, with the most change in Germany in 2000 from 1988, the opposite was true for the UK. In 2030, Canada is predicted to has the most increase in the year 2030's elder population proportion.

The German elder's rate was 25.32% in 2000, higher than the year 1988's 4.87%. The same pattern for from-age-65 Canadian in 2000 was 20.67%, of which in 1988 was 16.32%. The proportion of the UK's elder population in 2000 was 14.89%, 0.66% higher than the year 1988's (14,23%).

In 2030, the Canadian elder population rate is expected to rise more than 4% in comparison with the year 2000's percentage. Also, 5.1% of the elderly population in Germany is predicted to grow from 2000. The UK's is projected to elevate up to 20.35% in 2030.

Thank you for the evaluation!

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