west
Nov 10, 2009
Writing Feedback / "Can TV teach people?" - Give band to my IELTS essay [5]
Not all the information on the TV is beneficial like watching violent movies and incidentseffect(affect) children mental growth as well as behavior, therefore parents should make sure what their children are watching(is safe?...you can restructure this sentence better ). In some countries a system of rating TV program has been defined, which should intimate their viewers about the content of the program and its target audience.
Your concluding statement can be improved...Parents should pay attention to controlled TV viewing by children.
Great attempt maknojia, how soon is your exam? You are on the right track, you have excellent points, however you should pay attention to your spellings and grammar. That can improve if you read your essay aloud to yourself.
Not all the information on the TV is beneficial like watching violent movies and incidents
Your concluding statement can be improved...Parents should pay attention to controlled TV viewing by children.
Great attempt maknojia, how soon is your exam? You are on the right track, you have excellent points, however you should pay attention to your spellings and grammar. That can improve if you read your essay aloud to yourself.